20 Questions Plus One
by Avila Grace
Summary: Pam and Jim, in an effort to squalch boredom, play the childhood game of 20 Questions, with a twist. When the questions get more personal, will they cave under the pressure to keep their true feelings hidden, or will they share all, respecting the rules?
1. Superheroes

A/N: Came to me while babysitting… What if Pam and Jim played the games my coworkers and I play every day at work? The first one I'm going to attempt is 21 Questions. I have others if this one works out. Hope you like it! It's JUST going to be a series of emails, no thoughts or anything. So, try and read into what they say, not what I tell you they say. Also, FF doesn't let you post links or email addresses, so just pretend it pops up as their names on their emails. Mine do.

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**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pam Beesly  
Subject: Argentina**

Help! I am dying over here. There is nothing to do, and I am bored, and if I don't find something to do soon, Michael may find me something to do and then I'm screwed, you know? I need your help!! GAH!

What kind of Jello do you have for lunch today? There, that's my conversation starter. I am lame, I know.

WRITE BACK NOW!!!!!

-Pam

**To: Pam Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Norway**

Well, Beesly, you're in luck because here, across the room from reception, is where true creativity and genius lie. You should have asked me for help sooner, I would have been happy to oblige.

First and foremost, Jello is not a conversation starter, but I have lime. It's very good. What flavor of mixed berry yogurt do you have today?

I've got a game for us to play. It's called 21 Questions. Not the kind you played when you were a kid and the object was zebra and you asked if it was gaseous, solid or liquid. These are 21 different questions you must answer fully. Besides, the game you're thinking of was 20 questions. Anyway.

Here are the directions of the game.

Person One (Halpert) will ask the first question to Person Two (Beesly). Beesly must respond to this question in her next email truthfully, detailed, and quickly.

Upon reading Beesly's response, Halpert must then accept or deny her response and present his own answer. Once receiving Halpert's answer, Beesly may ask question two.

Here are the rules of the game.

You may not skip your turn, borrow questions from Google, or misspell a question.

You must answer all questions asked, and you must do so completely truthfully.

You must keep all answers to all questions confidential.

The questions must get increasingly more personal.

You must only play this game with THE Jim Halpert.

Do you accept these terms, rules, and the challenge of losing at this beloved game? If so, respond appropriately.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pam Beesly  
Subject: Croatia**

Beesly accepts and awaits her first question with trepidation.

**To: Pam Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: New Zealand**

Question One: If you could be any superhero, who would you be, what would your secret powers be, and which evil villains would you defeat. Your answer must answer all of the above, as well as provide a story in which you, as your superhero, does all of the above. Bonus points if you can provide a drawing.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pam Beesly  
Subject: ****Italy**

If I could be any superhero, I would be The Explode-able Narcissist Rain Woman. My secret powers are indeed my awesomeness: Not only can I explode at will, but I am in love with myself and can control the weather. My arch nemesis is The Sempai Beet, a man that looks like a boy and has beets for feet and arms, but somehow manages to perform martial arts tactics at will. Sometimes, his beet hands and beet feet fall apart, but he always manages to grow them back by drinking the juice that comes from the beets. I would defeat him, of course, as well as Batman, because who doesn't want to defeat Batman?

It's funny I am telling you this because it is confidential, top-secret information. You see, just last night The Explode-able Narcissist Rain Woman actually defeated both The Sempai Beet and Batman in a battle on top of Alfredo's Pizza Café (yes, Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo were there eating pizza). See, The Sempai Beet had decided to pick a fight with The Explode-able Narcissist Rain Woman because she was so beautiful and he was so… not. So anyway, The Explode-able Narcissist Rain Woman hated The Sempai Beet, so she changed the weather to a burning temperature of 298 degrees, which, if you didn't know, causes the prize vegetables beets to melt. This caused The Sempai Beet to melt, and although his mouth tried to drink up the juice, The Explode-able Narcissist Rain Woman used the beet juice to fuel her awesome transportation vehicle—an oversized Slinky. While she was riding the Slinky downtown after defeating The Sensai Beet, she ran into Batman. He took one look at her and fell dead because she was drop dead gorgeous. Then she exploded to cover up the evidence.

Also, see attachment. It is a picture of me, Dwight (The Sempai Beet) and Batman fighting. Notice Dwight is holding his Bobblehead—it was his only weapon and it also melted in the fire.

**To: Pam Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subjet: ****Porn**

Wow, Beesly! I have to hand it to you, photo-shopping Dwight's face into the beet man costume you designed is pretty dang awesome… But, am I correct when I say you were NOT photo-shopped in? Do you really own an explode-able, narcissistic poncho? NICE! Overall, I'd give your superhero a 7 out of 10. Acceptable.

I am Pooperman. Pooperman is gangsta. He's just awesome. His outfit is green and light brown streaks with holes around every orifice. This is because Pooperman's greatest physical strength is his ability to shoot all kinds of poop from every orifice in his body, as well as many other parts. His poop comes in all textures, states, and sizes. His greatest abilities are his range, flexibility, adaptability, and fiber intake. He shoots with 99 percent accuracy and has yet to miss a target. He blends in with surroundings, and is an expert at identifying new smells and creating concoctions for new fart stench.

Pooperman's greatest enemy villains are without a doubt Vomitinator and Snotster. These two villains have worked together for years trying to defeat Pooperman. The first thing they did was create toilet paper, thereby declaring that there could be at least minimal defeat over Pooperman. However, Pooperman checked the stats and is aware that he affects people of all ages, every day, sometimes even four or five times, by making them poop. Why should Vomitinator and Snotster be so confident that they will win when Pooperman's greatest strength is his stronghold over all Americans? They poop because he told them to.

One day at a Red Sox game (The Sox won),Vomitinator noticed a man having to leave the stands to go poop after eating nine hot dogs. Vomitinator was furious he couldn't make the man vomit, so he followed the man, looking for Pooperman. He called his trusty sidekick Snotster through a message transmitting device known as a BlackBerry, and the two of them rushed around to find Pooperman. They found him rescuing small children from burning buildings and cats from trees.

Vomitinator and Snotster were mad, and Snotster sent flying pieces of phlegm and mucus. Vomitinator threw up some chunks of breakfast at Pooperman, but Pooperman couldn't retaliate as he was holding a small, scorched child in his arms. When he set the child down, he put his hand out and shot green, runny diarrhea at Snotster's face. The snot and the poop did not mix well, and Snotster blew up, boogers shooting out of him!

And then, there were two. Poopster and Vomitinator were at it again, fighting to the death. They were each spraying their respective weapons: diarrhea and vomit, when Poopster saw the perfect opportunity. He changed the control settings on his arm (they're like Buzz Lightyear's) to "Dog Turd" and blasted four dog turds right at Vomitinator's face, crushing his nose and sending one into his throat, blocking the uptake of vomit. The vomit settled inside of him and was leaking out of his nose, causing a severe burn and pain that killed him!

Pooperman is still living, walking around your offices, homes, schools, playgrounds, and grocery stores.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pam Beesly  
Subject: ****WTF!**

EWWWWWWWW! You are so disgusting. 9 out of 10. Very nice. Pooperman. Very original and very Jim-like. VERY entertaining.

You ready for #2? I expect an answer within 24 hours. Can you stand up to the pressure?

**To: Pam Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: It's a ****turd****! It's a plane! It's ****Pooperman**

Bring it on, Beesly! The Pooperman is ready.


	2. Nicknames

_A/N: This one is shorter, dirtier, and what not... I've written two chapters after this one already, so the sooner you review the sooner I get it up :) They do get better!!_

_And, FYI, pay attention to the subjects. Some of them are silly, but some of them are important. (Also, they aren't starting new emails, they're just changing the subject lines.) If you want to see the real formatting (it gets kind of messed up on here) go to MTT (more than that, you can google it) and it's there!_**

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**

**From:** **Pam ****Beesly  
****To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Fical**** Matter**

Okay, Question Two: I need a comprehensive list of all of your nicknames. I want to know which one you think is the worst nickname, how it was given to you, why it was given to you, where it was given to you, by whom it was given to you, and pretty much anything else surrounding this nickname. It must be detailed and amusing.

**From: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****To: ****Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: Barf**

Oh wow. Tough question, Beesly. And definitely a bit more personal than the Superhero question. I'm going to have to think about this one.

My nicknames are as follows:

Jim

Jimmy

Hal

Big Tuna

Jimster

Jello

Jimbo

Halpert

Fat Halpert

Jim Bag

Big Haircut

Large Tuna

Jiminy Cricket

Slim Jim

Jimp

Halp

Jimmercock

JimJim

Jimsaw

J-bone

J-cock

Jimmer

Jimbles

Jimbroni

The winner, of course, is Jimbles. You probably don't know what it means, but basically, it's a code word for you know… Well, it was given to me by a teacher of mine in 9th grade. My male basketball coach… He came in the locker room while I was changing and said, "Woah! Jimbles!" and it scarred me for life. All of the guys kept calling me jimbles, thinking it was funny that my name fit in with the slang word for, well you know.

**From: ****Pam ****Beesly  
****To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Stars**

Well, I'm sorry to hear that, however, this is not acceptable. You never mentioned exactly what Jimbles were. You have to be explicit in this game, you know.

Because of that, I demand not only the 'jimbles' definition, but also the answer to the same question in relationship to the nickname "J-bone." You have 12 minutes.

**From: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****To: ****Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: You suck**

Beesly! That's so not fair! You knew what I was talking about!! I gave you more than enough information. You suck.

Jimbles My genitals.

Happy? I bet I'm all red now.

Okay, so J-bone. Also from Urban Dictionary. It means someone who has sex with a lot of women. Well, my girlfriend gave it to me… God, I can't believe I'm typing this stuff out to you. You're going to get me fired! So, it went around school that I'd looked up with this cheerleader on the squad named Amanda while I was still dating my high school girlfriend Brittany. I'm not telling you what the truth was, but Brittany and I went out on a date one night and she… Gosh, Pam, I hate you. We were in my car fooling around and she pulled my pants off and started examining me and I guess I curve a bit so she called me a J-bone because I wasn't exactly limp at the time….

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

**From: ****Pam ****Beesly  
****To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Limp ****Jimp**

There's your next nickname, Limp Jimp. Wow, I had no idea you were such a dirty boy. I am really glad we're doing this over email because I would never be able to talk to you when you said all of that stuff. I'm glad to know your Jimbles work… And your face is SOOO red. You must be embarrassed.

Man, I don't even know what to do. I was just kidding about not accepting your first answer. That's got to be a 9, as well.

And now I guess you want my list, with my names.

Pam

Pammy

Pam-Pam

Pama lama ding dong

Pam, Pam, Thank you ma'am

Pamburger

Beesly

Pamera

Pam-M-S

Ampay

Christmas Pam

Candided Pams

Pamchop

Pamcasso

Pam job

Pam pong

Pamani

Pamf

Beese

Beesl

Beeshe

Peanut Butter

PB

Pamgasm

Spamster

Pamties

Pamcakes

Let's go with either Pammy or Pamgasm. Pammy because Roy made it up, and I don't like it because I'm not a parrot or a two-year old. But the real winner, of course, is Pamgasm.

Pamgasm was given to me the third time I had sex. I'd faked it, and of course, Roy hadn't caught on. He kept calling my "orgasm" a "pamgasm" and thought it was hilarious, the play on words. Then he went around and told everyone that pamgasms were louder and better than orgasms. So, depending on how well he performed, I either had an orgasm or a pamgasm. What makes this nickname so horribly dreadful is that he was in this club called Interact in high school and they were in charge of making our Powder Puff jerseys and he put "Pamgasm" on the back of mine. My parents came to the game and nearly died.

My face is red, I just know it. And Dwight's looking at me. GROSS!!!! Okay, please ask a more mild question. That was a stupid move on my part.

**From:****Jim ****Halpert  
****To: ****Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Pamcakes**

I love Pancakes! I was thrilled to see that one of your nicknames incorporates their awesomeness. As for Pamgasm… Roy's an idiot. Although it is kind of funny to me that you have your own nickname for when you fake an orgasm. Man, the irony.

Does your pamgasm sound like Meg Ryan's megasm?

So you tell me I have to make this next one easy on you, eh? I guess I can do that. But right now it's 4:58, and I don't want to send it to you just yet because then you'd have to stay late to respond seeing as it's Friday and you're not coming in tomorrow… I'm not that mean, am I?

**From: ****Pam ****Beesly  
****To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: You're wonderful!**

Really, you are! I'm not just saying that because its one minute to five and you're letting me go…. Okay, maybe I am, but still.

Oh, and Meg's is better.

See you Monday! I'm going to go try and get un-embarassed!

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Review please!!! Things get spicier in the next few chapters :) 


	3. Favorites

**A/N: I hate FF. net because it deletes half my story when I upload it. GRR.**

**This is set in S02, Pam has already broken up with Roy, and Jim hasn't announced his feelings, so it's AU.

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**

From: Jim Halpert  
To: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Hairspray 

Good morning Starshine!

Before we continue on with our game, I'd like to know how your weekend was. It's not one of my questions, it's just friendly banter. Mine was good. I went roller skating on Saturday through the park. Have you ever seen those chick flicks where the couple is roller skating and there's a kid with an ice cream cone in the way or an old lady walking her dog, or a stick on the ground and the couple goes plunging into the lake? I want you to know, this never happens in real life. It was a perfectly fine day of roller skating down the path. No harm, no foul.

I went to brunch on Sunday morning, which I'm sure you think is ultra girly, but hey, what can you do? My girlfriend's mother invited us, and so we had a rousing brunch complete with pizza, beer, bagels, and bagel bites. What other kind of brunch is there? And by my girlfriend, I mean Mark. And by his mother, I mean our dog, Sparky.

How was your weekend, Starshine?

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Sex on a beach**

Thank you for the update on your weekend. I'm glad you had fun rollerblading with your hand. And your brunch sounds just splendid! Did you have it at the country club?

My weekend was relatively boring. Well, except not.

Believe it or not, I actually saw you rollerblading this weekend. I also saw you wipe out. It's really not that hard, Jim. It's all about gliding. And not putting your toe down. Didn't you ever see The Cutting Edge? Toepick is no good! And yet, somehow, you managed to wipe out, and even on flat surfaces. You sure are a masculine, athletic type of a man.

I drew trees and flowers this weekend for my art class. Did I tell you that I started my art class this weekend? Our first assignment was to go to the park and draw a scene. That's how I saw you. You crashed into my scene. Oh well. Don't worry, you didn't make it into my drawing, and no, you may not see it.

Other than that I saw a movie this weekend. Crap, what was it called… Oh, yeah.. It was that new one with the talking fish. I don't remember. I saw it with my niece, who loved it, of course. So, my weekend was good.

And oh my gosh, you won't believe what Michael said to me today! He came in and I was sitting here, and he called me Pampon. As in, tampon. Can I change my answer to question two, please? Oh, and what's better is, his sentence was this: Hey Pampon, need a tampon? And then he smiled that weird grin he does when he thinks he's being funny and threw a box of tampons at me.

This is going to be a long week.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Cow utters**

You saw me rollerblading and you didn't say 'hi'? What kind of friend are you anyway? Geez, Bees. You could have at least come rollerblading with me and my hand! Three's company!

I'm glad you saw the talking fish movie.

Pampons? Thank you for telling me about feminine hygiene. That's just gross, Pam. GROSS. Hope they come in handy.

Okay, you're ready for Question Three? Here it is: I need to know your favorite book, song, movie, quote, and color. And not just listed, tell me why. Or at least provide me some reasoning behind it.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Rubber Ducky, you're the one!**

Man. I know it's like, past lunch time and I am just now emailing you back, but give me a break. You asked like five questions in one. So it takes a while longer.

My favorite book is The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Steven Chbosky. It's really good! I read it in high school and basically it's these letters from this freshman kid Charlie to a random person. He just picks someone out of a phonebook and writes them letters and it's the collection of letters. It's got lots of sex and drug references, and I just love it!! It's like a little snippet of life.

My favorite song is "Vienna" by Billy Joel. I first heard it when I was watching 13 Going On 30 and it just kinda hit me. Its all about slowing down and not moving too fast and just kinda taking life as it comes and having dreams but not daydreaming. You should google the lyrics. I just love it. I found it back when I was with He Who Will Not Be Named (Roy) and it rang true so yeah. There's that.

My favorite movie, I don't feel like you deserve to know that. You cut me off before I could tell everyone outside when we had the fire a few years ago. Okay, fine. My favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz. C'mon. If I only had a heart!! Plus, it's so different from the book and I like it so much better! And it has flying monkeys. Come on, Jim.

My favorite quote? You don't know it? That's what she said, of course. No, it's "suck it" and Abraham Lincoln said it right before he shot Napoleon. Yep, Michael told me. Okay, so really, my favorite quote is by Ghandi and it's "be the change you wish to be in the world" because it's artistic and I like it and it makes me want to be good and happy and filled with pizza. Because the world should be good and happy and filled with pizza.

My favorite color? Are you kidding? I think you know this one. How could you not? It's yellow. Not bright yellow, and not cheese yellow, and definitely NOT smokers' teeth yellow. A light, pale yellow that you could paint your room. Baby blanket yellow. And I like it because it makes me happy. It's just a happy color.

So, suck on that Halpert. LAME question.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Vienna waits for you**

First off, it's 4:45, so by the time you read this it will be tomorrow morning. So, happy morning. Hope you had a good night. If everything goes as planned, I will have had pizza for dinner last night, some ice cream, and watched some crappy movie on TV.

Now, as far as your answers go. I printed out your lyrics of the song that describes you, and okay, Beesly, I'll give it to you, but only because I like The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, so that redeemed your poor choice for a song… I mean, yeah, the lyrics are wishy-washy and girly and definitely song club material, but please, Bees, grow some jimbles.

Your book is acceptable. More than. I love that book.

Your movie is also classic. And acceptable. Not as good as Dazed and Confused in my opinion, but still. It wasn't in your desert island list, so that's alright with me.

The Ghandi quote is sap. Did you google that? I feel like Ghandi has got to be the choice of EVERYONE. I mean, didn't he starve?

And then the color. Yep. I knew it. But I have to test to make sure you're being truthful.

So, overall, acceptable answer.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: If you only had a brain**

You are so strange. I'm glad you had fun with your hand and your pizza and your cold beer and your Lifetime movie last night. Thanks for telling me—I really want to know how pathetic your existence is. Although, I did the same thing. I have an excuse though. It's called a vagina.

Didn't you forget something?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Re: If you only had a brain**

Thank you for the lesson in human anatomy and gender differences.

I forgot my answers. Sorry.

Song: The Oscar Mayer Weiner Song. It's so freaking catchy!!!! And cmon, we all want to be an Oscar Mayer Weiner!

Book: The Bible. Just kidding. Making fun of Angela. Umm… Curious George Goes Shopping.

Quote: "Where is the bathroom?" –Ghandi

Movie: A Kid in King Arthur's Court

Color: Black.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: We're playing a game, and it****'s called****…**

BULLSHIT!

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Damn!**** You caught me!**

Damn, you caught me! I feel like a fourteen year old boy with his hand under a sheet when his mother walks in.

My favorite book is I am America! (and so can you!) by Stephen Colbert. Because it's written by Stephen Colbert.

My favorite song (at the moment) is California Stars, by Wilco. Just cause I love Wilco and this is my favorite Wilco song, so there we go.

Quote… Hmm. I know I teased you about being sappy, but it's from a poem called Desiderata by Max Ehrmann and it's "With all it's sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it's still a beautiful world." It reminds me of a girl I used to like and how she broke my heart but life is still good, so I guess I like it. Maybe I wouldn't have had I not come into it at the right time, but I did, and so I like it.

Movie. Say Anything. Definitely. Have you seen it? It's amazing. I think I'll go buy it today.

Color: Okay, so it's really green. Not a dark green or a bright green, but a hazelish green… Like the color of your eyes. That's my favorite color. Green!

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: California Stars!****WHOO**

Okay, so I have never heard California Stars, I have never read the Stephen Colbert book, I have never read Desiderata, I have never seen Say Anything, and I have never seen the color Green. What the hell?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Open your eyes**

Come over tonight. I'll let you listen to California Stars and we can watch Say Anything. I'll make you some broccoli, it's the only green food I can make. Or you can open your eyes and see Green.

As for the Colbert book, I haven't read it either… And just Google Desiderata, silly.

Now, I want question four…

But really, do come over tonight. You HAVE to see that movie!! It's awesome.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Go Green!**

Okay, so I looked up broccoli under Google images and saw it, so I see your favorite color now.

I also Googled Desiderata. I like your line too.

I'll come over tonight, but only if I can bring something. Soda? Macaroni and Cheese? That's what you want? Okay, sounds good! Make hamburgers! Yummy!

I'm off. I'm going to go home and change. I'll see you later tonight. And I'll email you questions in the morning (might as well as you a few of the ones I want to tonight! Hehe)

-Pam

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Please Review! Next chapter is written, waiting on reviews to post! 


	4. Guilty Pleasures

Wow! You guys are fantastic with your reviews!! I got home from a tough day of babysitting (8-6, gah!) and had 12 reviews! I wasn't planning on updating this until a few days, but since you guys were so good, here it is. And, I'm replying to each of your reviews.

Finding Disco: Thanks so much for your review! I have no intentions of stopping this story--I love writing it because I have no idea where it's going! I doubt the last question will be that sappy--I sure hope not! It is a dilemma, trying not to be sappy while still writing this story and giving you all closure. :)  
Graciesoup: Thanks! I was debating whether or not they were in character, I'm glad to see you think they are!  
KitKat: Thanks for the specifics! I'm trying to put subtle little flirtations in each of the chapters--glad you picked up on it!  
Vwalters: Here you go! Addicted? Wow!  
Favorite Things: You are just too good to me with your reviews, thanks!!!  
Gategirl: thanks about the pampons. I totally squealed when I realized it worked. Glad to know you liked it too!  
Claire: Thanks for reviewing, darling. Maybe I'll somehow find a way to put Hugh Laurie in there next time ;) BUT, make sure you read Chapter 5. Someone you know enters :)  
Vicki- Thanks for reading!  
Eaglechick- I swear, I can't stop writing this fic! Thanks for teh review!  
Leahreads- Thanks for the HUGE compliment! Staying IC is definitely something I was worried about, but I decided to just write it like my friend and I do, and I'm glad it works for you!  
LegendaryRoxtar- Posted!!

I hope you enjoy this one. :) Let me know what you think, yay and nay alike!

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To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Say nothing**

Okay, so I know I fell asleep on you last night. Sorry. At least I was in my jammies so it wasn't too bad… But yeah, thanks for letting me crash at your house. Even if it did make for a hectic morning. But yeah, I loved the movie. You are right, it was pretty swell. I might take it on the island with me… But then I would have to give up Fargo, so I'm not so sure, what do you think?

Song was good. Everything was pretty acceptable, actually. I think that I could be okay with your choices. And c'mon, did my macaroni and cheese not change your favorite food choice? I mean, honestly. It's like an orgasm in your mouth. Wow, I can't believe I just said it. But I have a rule when I'm typing emails to you. I type what I think and I don't delete, so there…. Wow.

Okay, I hope you had a good morning so far. Jan keeps calling. Michael told me not to answer, but I can't do that, right? Wouldn't I get fired?

**To: Pam Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Say everything**

Wow. Is it an orgasm in your mouth or a pamgasm? I'm not really sure? It definitely was good, though.

Glad my choices are acceptable.

Uh, yeah, I wouldn't just ignore Jam's calls… Even though Michael is your boss, she's REALLY your boss. I'm sure that wouldn't look so good?

Can I have my next question please? I'm so bored.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: She's not ****afraid,**** she just likes to use a nightlight.**

Okay, as much as it pains me to admit it, I think it's a pamgasm. Or maybe a jimgasm. Who knows. It's somethin', though.

Okay, I will be answering phones all day… So I guess this question is the quickest one I can come up with.

Question Four: 6 Guilty Pleasures! Go!

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: O-S-C-A-R M-A-Y-E-R**

Wow, that's a tough one, Pampons. Let's see... Wow, these will be embarrassing.

_1. The Bachelor_

2. Asian buffets

3. Rockapella

_4. Dawson's Creek_

5. Jelly Beans

6. YouTube couple videos

Wow, I feel so pathetic now…

**From: Pamela Beesly  
To: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Bob the builder! ****Yes**** we can!**

Wow, Jim. Impressive list, but I need to know more on… 1-6. All of them are fantastic. Okay, thanks.

Not acceptable until I hear my explanation.

**From: Jim Halpert  
To: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: I can't**

You need to know more? Jesus, Beesly. You're trying to kill me here.

_1. The Bachelor_- Honestly, you're going to make me say this? Katy used to make me watch it with her, and at first I enjoyed it because it was fun to make fun of the catty girls who fell in love with The Bachelor on their first date with 21 other girls, but then you kinda get invested into the girls, and I want them to be happy… And I want to go on dates with some of them. And I hate seeing them cry… And then they tease you with those little teasers and talk about how someone's going home and you just have to watch it! I know you watch it!!!!

2. Asian Buffets- Wow. Who DOESN'T love a good asian buffet? Their donuts are awesome!!!

3. Rockapella- I know. Shut up. At least it's not barbershop. But seriously, rock acapella is really cool… And they sing good songs. Happy songs, you know? And I'm seriously impressed by how awesome they are. Vocal stylingsamazing.

_4. Dawson's Creek_- Please. Joey and Pacey and Dawson and Jen? Who doesn't want to know what happens with the love triangle they each have? I'm just waiting for Jen and Joey to get it on because, hello! No, but I want Joey and Dawson to just end up together. They're so perfect for each other, and I know the series is over and everything, but still… I don't know!

5. Jelly Beans- They're at your desk. I love to eat them. What else can you say about jelly beans?

_6. YouTube __couple__ videos_- Do you even know what I'm talking about? Those videos people make of their favorite TV couples with clips from the episodes and the songs playing in the back? Right now, my favorites are the Luke/Lorelai ones from Gilmore Girls. They're so good! You know you watch them too.

Can you please put me out of my misery? And remember, we can't mention any of this stuff to anyone else… Dwight might pull out his gaydar pretty soon…

**From: Pamela Beesly  
To: Jim Halpert  
Subject: I really hate you.**

I just have one more question.

Who do you want to marry the bachelor? I am giggling like a school girl over this. You are so dorky!! It's cute.

1. Watching Gymnastics on TV- Those girls are awesome. They can do flips and straddles and all sorts of awesome stuff with their bodies!

2. Wham!- Wake me up before you go-go? Oh, come on, is there anything better than that?

3. Asian buffets- Jim! I never knew you liked them too! Why did we not talk about this? If we get nothing out of this little game, at least we now have a common guilty pleasure and we can go out to lunch together! Yay!

4. Danielle Steel novels- I know one of your guilty pleasures is really Playboy. Well, Danielle Steel is kind of like playboy, except she writes the sex instead of having it. Oh man, it's fantastic. (blushing now).

5. My diary- I write it in every day. So sue me.

_6. Legally Blonde_- Shut up.

I could go crawl under a rock now, thanks.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Okay**

I want DeAnna to win. Sue me. It's on tonight though! There are only three women left! I like them all though, so I'm not sure what I'm gonna do.

Hey, I like watching gymnastics too… I don't think it counts as a guilty pleasure. Everybody likes that, don't they?

Wham! Seriously, Pam? And Danielle Steel?

Legally Blonde. Hah. I heard people that like Legally Blonde are the cheerleader types and are "really nice" and have "an adorable car".

You are awesome with the asian buffets, though. Not gonna lie.

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Wham!**

Wow. I can't believe you know I said that about her…. Sorry… I just didn't like her, you know? Roy sure did though.

Yes, everyone likes gymnastics. Not a guilty pleasure, but it is for me.

Don't knock my Wham! Or my Danielle! A girl needs somethin'.

Question: Do you want asian buffet and The Bachelor watching company tonight? I'd like to see this DeAnna chick. You know, get to know what your "type" is. We could meet at Emerald Garden at 6:30… If you want, I mean.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: The eagle has landed!**

Fact: Yes.

* * *

And there you have it! Coming up next is a question straight out of Pam's #6...

Review! You all do it so well and it gives me so much encouragement!


	5. Best Date

Wow, you guys are seriously amazing!!! I have had an unbelievably horrible day today, and I can't tell you how much your reviews have brightened my spirits! Seriously, thank you. I hope this meets all of your expectations. I'll continue to leave the personal replies, for you. Oh, and for all of you Office Tally-ers (especially Claire!) there's a shoutout to you! Can you find it??

JavaJunkishness- Thanks so much for your review! I'm so glad you loved Vienna--it is my favorite song :) I didn't write them at the movie night, but I did let you know a bit of what went on, I hope that sufficed!  
Allison- Thanks! and I plan to!  
Finding Disco- Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. The guilty pleasures are definitely from my own list... I did have to google some to see what could be feasible for Jim, though... And yeah, the LL videos are a bit OC, but hey, aren't most guilty pleasures supposed to be?  
Favorite- Thanks so much! I try to update as fast as I can, and reviews like yours certainly make me want to!  
Gracie- I feel so special that you review my story! Thanks :) I highly suggest the Q game with your friends--you get to know people sooooo well!  
Nutmeggedya- Thanks! I hope you continue to enjoy it!  
KitKat- I don't need literate! Break me off a peice of that fancy feast!  
Eagle- Thank you again! You're awesome!  
Vicki- Thanks for ALL of your reviews on ALL of my stories!!! You're fantastic :)  
Katy- Hehe, your review made me giggle. I should have put fan fiction on Jim's guilty pleasure list!  
Henantz- They are amazing! Thanks for your comments!  
Danni- Haha, it is a fun thing to imagine, isn't it?  
Ruli- Thanks so much! I was kind of nervous about the way I was doing the follow-throughs, so I'm glad you enjoyed them and I'll definitely keep it up! There's one in this chapter!  
GinJoints- Aww, thank you!! I gave you more, so keep on going, going, going!  
Elly- Thanks so much!! I'm addicted to writing this story!!! You should add the story to your story alerts--then you get an email when it's posted :)  
LegendaryRoxtar- Are you Jim? Just kidding. Thanks for your comment--I was wondering if anyone was following the subjects! I just go straight off what comes in my head, haha. Oh the ramblings!!!

Thanks again for your reviews! Keep it up, and I'll keep up my end of the deal! I have three more chapters written already!!! I CANT STOP!

Also, in this chapter, the advent of letting you all know when time has elapsed!

**

* * *

**

From: Pamela **Beesly  
****To: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Is that a picture of a pink unicorn? Oh how cute!**

Well… I figured you enjoyed The Bachelor when you put it on your guilty pleasure list, but oh my god, Jim! You were so into it!!! What was with the little cheering section? And the covering your eyes during the kisses? You're like a little girl!!!! I can't believe you were biting your nails!! And could you have been anymore vocal when they let Sheeba go? Geez. If I come over tonight, will you do my hair and help me pick out my dress for the dance? I want to look sooooo cute!

I've decided that neither one of us can use Asian buffets as our guilty pleasure… My reasoning for this is that it's on both of our lists, so we can't really feel that guilty about it. Since I am the one that made it up, I will go ahead and tell you that my new number six is my Tooth Tunes toothbrush. I know, I know. You have no idea what it is.

They only sell them at little girls stores… Like Limited Too or Justice or the ones that have little slut clothes for nine year olds? Okay, well, basically, they're toothbrushes that play a song when you put them in your mouth. It's so awesome. The bristles vibrate against your teeth and send sound waves to your brain through your teeth, so you hear a song in your head while you brush! There are lots of different songs, but mine is the Hannah Montana theme song.

What are you doing tonight? Thursday night. We know that Dwight will be watching The Apprentice… Unless he somehow decides to go get drunk with his laser tag team… I'm seriously thinking we need to sabotage his team in some way… I mean, couldn't we pretend to be on his team and cancel practice or dress up as someone else or something? I just kind of want to see him play laser tag, don't you?

I'm going to visit my mom this weekend! I really love her!! I'm so excited.

WRITE BACK!!!!

-Spamster

**From: Jim ****Halpert  
****To: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: You suck**

I really can't tell you the depth of my hatred for you right now. You suck. On all levels. I'm so tempted to do something to you.

Shut up. You love The Bachelor and you know it. It is quality TV. And you think he's hot. I saw you swooning after him when he was taking his shirt off. I bet you went home and made out with your pillow after watching that.

Well, I've decided that since my previous answer of asian buffets was already accepted, I am not obligated to re-answer based on your whim. However, I am very proud of you for admitting your great love for Tooth Tunes… I do, however, want to know how you even know the Hannah Montana theme song… And more importantly, what were you doing in the little girls store? Were you on a shopping spree with Angela again, or are you just a white, female Michael Jackson on girls?

What am I doing tonight? I am playing laser tag with my laser tag team. Don't you know that's my Wednesday night ritual? By the way, Pam, it's Wednesday. And I promise it is, I'm not trying to convince you, and I didn't pay anyone in the office to tell you otherwise. It's Wednesday. Which begs the question, will you be at the game tonight? I know you missed practice on Sunday, but we'll still let you play.

Is "mom" a code word?

**From: Pam ****Beesly  
****To: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: You are Michael on pervert pills**

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON! How twisted and disturbed are you? My gosh. You know I have a niece. You know everyone has a birthday! Geez, Jim. Eww. I'm shuddering. Okay, actually I'm laughing. "A white, female Michael Jackson on girls?" Touche, my friend.

Mom is not a code-word. Why, what did you think it was supposed to be?

Oh yeah, sorry. I guess I forgot to tell you that I was busy on Sunday during practice. I was taking my vitamins.

I will, however, be at the game tonight. What time does it start, again? Who are we playing? I need more information about our team….

**From: Jim ****Halpert  
****To: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: Frisky ****Gellatin**

Laser tag is tonight at 7 pm. You need to be at Fun Station at 6:30 for a team get-together. Please wear your complete uniform (knee-high candy cane socks, bowling shoes, khaki shorts, tank top, and various sweatbands). Check in at the front desk by telling them your number (you're 69) and team name (Frisky Gellatin). Every team has four players, except for us. We will be down two men on account of the fact that I just registered you and I two minutes ago, and therefore, we don't have anybody else. Tonight we are playing… Gryffindor. So, come with your game face on. And your uniform.

**From: Pam ****Beesly  
****To: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Frisky ****Gellatin**

Okay, question… Um, are glasses a part of the uniform? What about wands? Snakes? I just want to make sure we're intimidating enough that we can fully annihilate the other team. GO FRISKY GELLATIN!

**From: Jim ****Halpert  
****To: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject**: **Frisky ****Gellatin**

Yes, glasses are a part of the uniform… And you're on the team. I don't think we have to worry about being intimidating.

_(different stream of emails, the next day)_

**From: Jim ****Halpert  
****To: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: Wow.**

Oh, man! I seriously am so impressed with you right now. Not only was your outfit way past any expectations I could ever have had (and honestly, the thought running through my mind is, "she actually owned all of that??!?!") but your constant shouts of "Voldemort Rules!" and "The Dark Lord reigns!" just made you my best friend for another lifetime. Oh, and dude, where did you learn those moves? The tuck and roll? Have you been to Mommy and Me gymnastics recently or what? You were freaking AWESOME out there! I can't believe you took down Dwight AND Mose AND the Amish minister! Honestly. You're just too good to be true.

And now it's time for question five… That is, if you're ready. Actually, I'll just give it to you. After your kick-ass performance last night, I can't imagine you NOT being able to tackle question five.

So, without further adieu: I want to know everything about your best date.

**From: Pam ****Beesly  
****To: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: hmm**

Wow. Thanks for all of the awesome compliments about my laser tag game. Since you asked, I'll have to let you know that it's all God-given skill and talent. You really think that tuck and roll could be learned? I shot a man in the chest, Halpert! You can't learn that!!! And I do have to say, I'm probably going to hell for shooting the Amish minister… How do you celebrate THAT?

Sorry it took me so long to email you back. I was having so much trouble with my date answer... Hopefully you'll accept this one.

I hope beyond myself that my best date hasn't happened yet… I mean, don't get me wrong, Roy and I had some good dates. And I've been out on a few others before… Call me a romantic or a girl or whatever you will, but I would really, really like my best date to be with my husband. And I just don't think being left at a high school football game or eating wings with his friends counts. I don't know. That's my answer.

**From: Jim ****Halpert  
****To: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: Titanic**

While I do understand your dilemma, and I do hope that you get your wish, I cannot accept your answer. I am looking for your best date to present. Please update your answer. Thank you.

**From: Pam ****Beesly  
****To: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Dwight K. ****Schrute**

Okay Mr. Authority.

My best date was with Jim Mosby in the tenth grade. He was this really punkish kid, which I know, is kind of weird. But he was really sweet. He was a teddy bear. Anyway, he picked me up three days after he got his license, which was really cool for me because I didn't have mine yet and none of my friends did either. Anyway, he brought me this red rose and totally, completely passed my Dad's fifteen hour investigation. We went to this really nice restaurant, the type where prices aren't on the menu, and then afterwards we walked along the lake and talked… Then we went back to his house and played pool and he didn't let me win… And there was no chemistry between us whatsoever, but it was really fun. Hah, I remember he asked to kiss me (I'd told him at some point before I wanted to be asked before I was just kissed) and I told him I wanted to wait. I was so mad at myself for so long because I was a senior in high school before I got my first kiss.

But yeah… The only reason that was my best date was just because he treated me so well. I really felt like a princess… But there was nothing there between us. I'd take a date of sitting on the kitchen floor eating pizza with someone I really care about over anything like that.

There. Now you know how pathetic I am.

**From: Jim ****Halpert  
****To: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Keds**

Well, I'm sorry to hear that your best date was with someone you didn't really care about. I agree that it's a really important part of a date. Maybe one day you'll have your best date. I hope so, for you.

My best date has got to be April 25th, because it's not too hot and it's not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

**From: Pam ****Beesly  
****To: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sun Chips**

You're too sweet. Thanks for the Sun Chips and coke, and for the quoting of my guilty pleasure. :) I was feeling kinda crummy, so thanks…

I'm so close to accepting your answer because it's amazing that it's killing me. But I can't accept it. I have to let it go and say, suck it up and tell me, mister.

**From: Jim ****Halpert  
****To: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Rootbeer****f****loats**

I took a girl to a golf course once. We had pizza, shot putt-putt, and kissed. It was my first kiss. I don't remember her name, honestly.

I'm hoping the same as you.

**From: Pam ****Beesly  
****To: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: iPods**

Wow. I really hope you remember more than that when you date your wife.

* * *

_Do I even have to say 'review'? You guys are just too awesome for words!_


	6. Memories

Okay, seriously guys! You make me so happy! I hope you enjoy this chapter... The subject lines are funny this time :)

Java- I'm glad you like the subject lines :) I just say whatever pops into my head! And, when will you realize Vienna waits for you?  
Shattered- I hope my updates always make your bad days better :)  
Preppy Princess- Well, now you don't have to wait any longer!  
Roxstar- Oh I totally agree about Roy... Lately, I've been trying to write fics where I get to understand why she would choose to stick around for so long (or why she would be involved in teh first place). The next chapter deals with that a bit.  
Livy-Aww thanks!!! I'm loving your review! I smiled!  
Brody- haha, isn't it fun to picture them dressed up and laser tagging?  
Deleon- They're just whatever pops into my brain, haha.  
GinJoints- You're welcome from the bottom of MINE!  
Danni- Yes it was. :) Too bad we can't see him in the swimsuit competition!  
Tuna- Well, I thought about that. I decided against it because remember, Pam said it wasn't a date... But, if you could tell, he was a bit standoffish with his answer. Assume what you what, but I'm thinking maybe Jim made up his best date. We all know it was Pam.  
Dancer- Thanks doll!  
Katy- Haha, yeah. I have little friends who dress at those stores and it saddens me deeply :) Please don't shoot me! Then I can't update! THE DARK LORD REIGNS!  
Eagle- Aww thanks! Now, tell me, is Miss congeniality your desert island movie? Haha  
Leah- Oh man. Perfection in a review. Nice! AND THANKS!  
Ruli- Do you watch How I Met Your Mother? That's how I kind of pictured Pam being? Rolling around and shooting things left and right and yelling stuff like "Don't make me get your mom, connor!"  
Gracie- Oh I know. Don't you just want to curl up on the couch with him and hit him on the head with a pillow?  
Favorite Things- Wow! Is that even possible?!? Thanks so much!  
Michelle Lives On- Aww Thanks! I'll miss it too!  
Vicki- Thank you thank you! here it is!

I seemed to have one common thread. Everyone loved laser tag! Haha. That's because it's just an awesome sport. I say we get Frisky Gellatin to make it an Office Olympic sport. Can you just picture Kevin and Oscar playing it too? It's almost as good as Flonkerton!

And here's the next chapter. Hoping you like it as much as the last!

**

* * *

To: Pamela** **Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Earth called. ****Wants you to call back.**

Beesly, where have you been? Geez. It's been like a week since you emailed me, and I'm having a pretty hard time without your hourly emails. I mean, honestly. Do you expect me to make it through a week without your emails? You must be trying to kill me.

How was your visit with your mom? I know you went there last weekend. Does she live in Mars or something? She must.

I brought you something. It's underneath your desk. It might smell a little rotten though… I brought it for you a few days ago.

COME BAAAAAAACK!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Want some cheese with that whine?**

Oh my gosh, Jim, you are such a baby! I'm so sorry I didn't email you while I was on my vacation!! Do you really expect me to come into the office every morning and send you an email? It's only Tuesday. I emailed you last on Friday afternoon. I'm really, really sorry for hurting you. It won't happen again. Maybe. If you're lucky.

My visit with my mom was great. I told her about our little game we're playing, and she gave me a few good questions to ask you, so I might pull those out. She said to tell you hello.

By "something" do you mean this half-eaten fortune cookie with a fortune that says: Today you will be very successful… And then handwritten at the bottom it says "in bed"? Is that what you mean? If so, thank you so much. Please help me find the person that I'm supposed to fulfill this prophecy with.

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Muahaha**

I am not a baby. I just missed you yesterday. You missed Michael coming in wearing an apron that said "Mom's best helper." I think he bought it at Spencer's Gifts for his birthday.

I'm curious, how did I come up when you were talking to your Mom?

Yes, that was the something. And the person that's going to help you is named Freddie and he's located in your dresser drawer.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: I hate you**

I can't believe you tried to rename Carlos! And to Freddie! Honestly, Jim, does Freddie sound like the type of vibrator that can get that done? I can't believe I just owned up to that.

My mom asked about you. Why?

Haha on the apron. You're so funny. Which dining establishment will we be enjoying our midday meal at today?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****S****ubject: I am not a machine.**

I hope you have fun with Carlos tonight :). If you're glowing in the morning, I'll know what's up.

Uhh, why was your mom asking about me? How does she even know about me? You just made it sound like I was common conversation between you two.

I actually have to run a few errands today during lunch. I brought mine. The Ham and Cheese.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Hooters**

What errands do you have to run, Jim?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Cheez**** Its**

Are you seriously asking for my shopping list?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Peter Pan**

Yes, I seriously am. Seriously.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Battlestar ****Gallactica**

Okay, I have to run and pick up Fabric Softener, a birthday card for my little sister, and a Kit Kat bar. And I have to run by the pharmacy, and go pick up my new guitar.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Fabric Softener?**

You use fabric softener?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Uh.**

What? You don't.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: My mistake**

No, I do.

Question six: What is your most missed memory?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Hmm…**

My most missed memory?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Guitar**

Yes… As in, the memory you miss the most.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Second Life**

I guess I have to say my most missed memory was a few years ago. My best friend and I went out to Lake Scranton one Saturday after he'd broken up with his girlfriend and we played Frisbee all day long. We went for a jog around the lake and then we went out for pizza afterwards. I don't know why, it was just a pretty day and I had fun… I guess.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Curious…**

Hmm, that's interesting… Because I have a memory just like that one… Except I went to Lake Scranton with a coworker of mine right after I broke off my engagement, and he was really sweet. We sat on the ground and talked for a little bit. We fed the ducks our sandwiches and went hungry. We played Frisbee (and I won), and then we went for a jog around the lake, and even though he offered me his iPod, we just ran around and talked. Then we went out to Alfredo's right afterwards and laughed some more. I really liked that day because not only was it sunny out, but it was really fun and I laughed a lot.

Doesn't that sound like yours?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Ego equals shot**

Wow. Is that all I am to you, a coworker?

And yeah, it does sound like me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Bread**

No, it's not.

Is that really why it's your favorite memory? Because it was sunny?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: YOU HAD SEX WITH STANLEY? ****OMG**

No, that's not why it's my favorite memory. It's my favorite memory because that's the day you officially became my best friend.

What am I?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Ohh**** convicts!**

Officially? Did we cut ourselves open and do the Ya-Ya or something? Sign a paper?

A very good friend. Maybe even the best.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Disgusting**

Yes, we did. And now my blood runs through your veins, and your blood runs through mine.

Now, was my answer accepted?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Out ****of paper, out of stock**

It was accepted, yes.

My answer: A friend of mine and I really just can't stand this one guy we know… So one day, we got to work really early and moved his desk into the bathroom. We set up his computer and his phone and everything… We even gave our friend Kevin a whole box of dunkin donuts so he might have to go to the bathroom… Then when this guy got here, he freaked out and we just laughed as he spent half the day working in his office, afraid that if he moved his desk he might miss a few calls.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ALWAYS, ALWAYS get chili on your nachos bell ****grande**

Hey, you want to come with me on my errands? We can stop by Wendys or something and pick you up some lunch?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: I don't wanna be a chicken, don't wanna be a duck.**

Yes! MANDARIN ORANGE SALAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: WOW!**

That's totally number eight on my guilty pleasures list.

Now?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Rosie O'Donnell!**

and Then?

and Later?

Okay. Now works.

* * *

Review please! (like i even have to say that!) 

Next chapter is angsty... And is probably THE jump into the more personal questions. :)


	7. Closest Death

Okay, first of all, it's really important in this chapter that you pay attention to the To/From lines because not everything is a volley back and forth. Also, the time between emails isn't listed, so you'll have to imagine it. Obviously, sometimes the emails will be back and forth, other times they'll be lots of space in between. However you imagine it, that's probably the way it is.

Also, I have no idea what part of the season this is set in. Season 2, but no Casino Night, everyone's single, you know, the works. Basically, however the story fits in, haha.

And now to my responses to my lovely reviewers:

Nutmeg- Oh, yeah, when I wrote that line about Stanley, I shrieked. Can you just imagine STANLEY's face during it? haha.  
JavaJunkish- Thanks for telling me what lines you like--it really helps me when I write! Also, judging from your name, I'd say you're a GG fan? I have a few GG stories up too that you might be interested in, if you're looking for more to read. :) i think you've read one or two before, but so you know :)  
Darth- Haha, your review inspired me to make more of a contest between them for subject lines, so thanks!  
Deleon- I have no idea.  
Elly- Thanks so much!  
Eagle- Haha, I'm glad to know! It would totally make mine too. You wanna kiss me, hug me and marry me... Hehe  
Katy- Haha, thanks for your review!! It seems that was a popular line! As it should have been :)  
Brody- shrug They're just so adorable, what else can you do?  
Rox- Okay, the mandarin orange salad honestly is just like asian buffets- can it count as a guilty pleasure if everyone loves it? Kit kat was half random, half shout out to andy's fancy feast jingle.  
Dancer- HAHA! at least you realized it now!! And the subjects are really just whatever comes to me. Haha.  
Vicki- Hehe, some of you guys make me laugh and wonder if I should write a story with JUST subject headings, haha.  
Gracie- Thanks! That was a cute line, wasn't it? haha. I picture Pam's money smile after so many of these emails. And thanks! Here it is, the next chapter!

**

* * *

**

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Michael**

Jim… I'm pregnant. I don't know what to do.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Croutons**

I didn't know Freddie was that type of vibrator, Beesly.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: JIM!**

Are you insinuating that I can't get someone to have sex with me?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Brown Rice**

No… I'm insinuating that you're not the type of girl to have sex with a random womanizer.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Love actually**

How do you know he was random?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Iyiyi**

You're not the type of person to not tell your best friend you have a man. If you are, I'm really hurt.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Bras**

I never said you were my best friend.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Oh.**

Question seven: Who was the closest person to you to die?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: No**

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Jim.

I'm not answering that.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: It's like fourth meal… or second drink.**

You have to answer it, Beesly. It's part of the game.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pam****ela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Pampers**

Then I quit.

**To: Pam****ela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Bathroom**

Hey… are you okay? I almost sent Angela in to rescue you from the claws of the evil Porcelain god.

**To: Pam****ela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sun chips**

Pam, please. I saw you open your email. I know you're ignoring me… Please talk to me.

**To: Pam****ela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Slap Bet**

Okay, I screwed up. I'm taking my break now. I'll have French Onion Sun Chips and a coke and two straws in the break room for the next twenty minutes if you want to hear me grovel for forgiveness.

**To: Pam****ela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lisa Frank**

Please. Pam, now I'm just really worried about you. I'll redact my question, just… are you okay? Is it about the sex thing? I know you can have sex with lots of men. Plenty of them would jump in your bed.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Water**

Yes, Jim, I'm fine. And it's not about the sex thing. It's about the stupid question you asked. Don't redact it, just give me a little leeway on answering it, okay? I need to get calm.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Thank You**

I still have those sun chips if you want them….

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Okay**

I only want them if you'll take another break and split a coke in the break room with me. I think I just need a few laughs :)

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Hmm**

Two straws, one coke, fifteen thousand laughs await you in the parlor room, milady (aka, come to the break room on my cue… my cue is when I stand up)

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Big girls don't cry**

Okay, so, your question.

I grew up in Scranton, so obviously, everybody knew everybody and everybody knew everything about everybody… We'd all grown up together. Well, my best friend from pre-school, Abby Richards, and I were pretty much inseparable. I swear, we did everything together, from playing on the playground together to skipping class to drinking in the bathroom so our parents wouldn't find out… Our senior year, we had six classes together, and it brought us even closer together. To the point where we lived at each other's houses all the time. Half her wardrobe was at mine and vice versa. Well, we were in this language arts class together, and Roy and this guy Brian were in it too. We were kind of like a little foursome, and before we knew it, Brian and Abby were dating and Roy and I were dating and that was just that… Well, we all went out one Friday night to a hockey game and then we got pizza afterwards. We were all going to go to Brian's house that night for a movie. Brian and Abby were leading, and Roy and I were following, and we're not sure what happened but somehow Brian swerved off the road and hit a tree… He and Abby both died instantly.

Okay?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Blue skies don't bother me**

Meet me in the stairwell, now.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Watercolors**

Hi,

Thanks for listening to me. And for the hug. I'm sorry I freaked out on you earlier… It's just that I haven't really thought about Abs in a long time and then you asked that question and my chest just clammed up a little. Sometimes, I really miss her, you know?

I guess you can see why I was so hesitant to leave Roy now... I mean, we have that similar thread that ties us together. It was a sucky one, but we understood each other. I know you didn't like him, but a lot of the reasons why you just didn't know. We had a lot of grief in our relationship.

And Jim.. You are my best friend, it just scares me to say it out loud because I've only ever had one other best friend, and well, you know what happened there.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: I do**

I know I said this earlier, but I really am very sorry. I wish I knew what I could say to you that might make it at least a little bit better…

I feel like I do understand you better. You know you can talk to me anytime, right?

How's the mixed berry?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Referees**

It's your turn to answer.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: 1-2 ****Step**

Umm…

This makes me sound like an ass.

I haven't really lost anyone close to me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Jackets**

I'm very, very glad to hear that.

Well then, who would you cry over most?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sunshine, don't bother me**

I don't cry.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: mm**

I bet you did last night when DeAnna got sent home on The Bachelor.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Kristi Yamaguchi**

No comment.

My mom, my dad, my little sister, you, or Steve Erkel, okay?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Yay**

Okay. Thanks. That cheered me up.

Sorry I freaked out earlier.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: 4:57**

I have something for you tomorrow.

Have a good night tonight!

* * *

And so, we have jumped head first into the personal questions with the above one. They only get deeper and less superficial from here. The direction of my story has shifted slightly since I started, so I'm really excited about that. Your reviews are absolutely, positively inspiring and amazing! Thanks so much...

Coming up: More personal, more conversational, and more of Jim and Pam's softer sides. And, the inclusion of a new character into the mix (based on real life!) So, review to get it!!!


	8. Cry

Wow! I can't believe I update this thing every day. I just feel so bad if I don't when you all review so much and are such good readers! So, here is the next installment. I have a few others written, but I'm currently stuck, so we'll see how it goes. Oh, and THIS is the part that's based on a kind of true story, not the last part. "Hannah" is one of the girls I nanny for, and unfortunately for me, "Hannah" is doing a lot better than my kid. So, she'll probably be in the story a lot, as it's somewhat of a release for me, and she's cute.

Now for your responses:

Roxstar- Too dark? If so, I'm sorry. Hopefully it will get lighter as I continue to write. This one's not necessarily light, but I don't think it's dark, either?  
Elly- Thank you. I'm always trying to figure out Roy/Pam, so I really appreciate your comment. And I love Jim's slippage of 'you' as well.  
Nutmeg- Haha, I'm glad you like croutons. Maybe bread will make an appearance later. :)  
Eagle- HEY! GLIDING HERE!  
Leah- I absolutely agree with you, and thanks. I have such a hard time figuring out just what it is, so I write about it and try to figure out the best way. I know this is AU, but still, it puts some character into Roy and some reasoning on Pam's behalf to stick by him. and I love that you use "yummy" as an adjective for things other than food because I (and my Pam) do too.  
Booky- Thank you! I really appreciate your comments :)  
Staree- Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad to have readers, so I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! It's still a while from completion (thank God! I can't give it up yet)  
Ruli- Thank you, thank you! And this one wasn't the one that was completely based on real life. I did have a friend of mine get in a car accident my senior year, but it was nowhere near the pain of what Pam is feeling. I tried to emulate that as much as I could. Also, Kristi Yamaguchi is so old school she's new school. I mean honestly.  
Sezza- Thanks! It's based off my best friend and I's constant doddlings at work, haha. I just love the little random background knowledge that has nothing to do with the story or anything of importance, it's just there.  
Doggy- The something for tomorrow is now something for today! Thanks for telling me about your thoughts about his constant email badgering--I wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad, so I'm glad you let me know you liked it! And yeah, GG is pretty depressing. Perhaps one of the emails you have from GG is one from me, how funny would that be? Oh, and the vibrator returns at some point later, I believe?  
Katy- Steve Erkel. You love him just because. The whole world would die if he did.

**

* * *

**

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Silly me**

I forgot to print you out your playlist, and since you can't listen at work (or can you? Check your desk drawer) I thought I'd send it to you now so you can get just a small glimpse of what it is that is on that ratty CD I made you. I'll even throw in liner notes for you.

1. _Vienna_ (Billy Joel)- Well, it is your favorite song.

2. _Sing_ (Travis)- Do you remember this song at all? It's the one we swayed to out in the parking lot the night that we read through Threat Level Midnight… I only wish we'd actually gotten the part.

3. _When I Laugh _(The Glands)- It just reminds me of you. I think laughing is our favorite thing to do. I'm not really sure what they're talking about, but come on, it is pretty groovy to listen to. Yep, groovy.

4. _Through Any Window _(Wisely)- Okay, so everyone knows the best track on any album is track four. And this song is just amazing. Just amazing. They sound like Simon & Garfunkel, but they're just… I don't know, awesome. I think they are probably your perfect song. This one will knock Vienna off the charts.

5._ Phone Call #27 _(Admiral Twin)- Uhh.. You're the receptionist. But seriously, has the phone ever sounded so good?

6. _Those Sweet Words _(Norah Jones)- Okay, so um, guilty pleasure number seven: Norah Jones. I can picture you waking up to this song… Or going back to sleep to it. :)

7. _Ghost _(Neutral Milk Hotel)- Okay really. How can you NOT like this song?

8. _Better Days _(Faith Hill)- Okay. Call me a dork, but I need you to listen to this song. And just pretend like I wrote it for you, okay? Okay.

9. _Somewhere Only We Know _(Keane)- I think I just like the lyrics… They're almost haunting, in a strange way… I don't know. _So tell me when you're gonna let me in/I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. _I don't know… Shivers.

10._ Chicago _(Sufjan Stevens)- I just really want to go to Chicago. I just wish there was someone I was in love with that would drive there with me.

11. _Something More _(Sugarland)- This really should be called Pamela Beesly. And let's be honest, you still have two years until you reach five, but I could TOTALLY picture you telling Michael you have better things to do with your life. Hah.

12. _Somebody to Love _(Queen)- I don't know. I can just picture little Pam jumping on her bed and singing into hair brushes into her pajamas and rocking out to Queen… Because who else is there to rock out to?

13. _Passenger Seat _(Stephen Speaks)- It's just a happy go-lucky song. I don't really know how to describe it, but I think it will make you happy.

14. _Me and Julio Down At The Schoolyard _(Simon & Garfunkel)- Okay, c'mon honestly. Is there such a thing as a mix CD without a little S&G? Definitely not. If I be me, will you be Julio?

15. _Her Eyes _(Pat Monahan)- Seriously. I love this song. Have you heard Meet Virginia before? This is a lot like that, except it's more real and more you I think…

16. _Rebellion__(Lies) _(Arcade Fire)- There are some songs you just plain like.

17. _Green Eyes_ (The Rocket Summer)- It just reminds me of you. Not the whole thing… Just _Green eyes that smile _mostlyBecause yours do. And I like your eye smiles.

18. _Gone for Good _(The Shins)- How can you not LOVE the Shins? Another automatic mix CD band. And it is so cool to like them, so shut up.

19. _Angel _(Jane Jensen)- I dare you to listen to this song when you draw. I can just picture you creating some perfect drawing while listening to this… And, I don't know, this could be your theme song.

20. _The Great Escape _(Boys Like Girls)- It just makes me think about The Perks of Being a Wallflower and driving around town with the windows down panting out the window… Like a dog, except you're still a human… My favorite quote in the whole book is "and in that moment, we were infinite." I just imagine that's what it's got to be like when you go driving with your best friend.

21. _California Stars _(Wilco)- I love this song. It reminds me of this girl I know.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Awwww**

Thank you, Jim. I haven't heard half of those songs, but I'm really glad I can listen to them now. And thanks for the CD player in my desk drawer. You're just too great You really didn't have to do this, though, you know…

I promise I'll listen to it soon. Dwight is making me make a list of everyone in the office's favorite candy and type of chip. I put you down for "eye candy" and "poker chips." I just wonder what he'll say, hehe. I'm not sure what secret mission this is for… Part of me wonders if maybe he's finding this information out for Angela. What do you think?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Smile for me**

Hmm, I think you're right about them. Angewight sure have been whispering in the break room lately. Something about cookies.

Well, I'm surely sorry that he's making you do that. For the record, you are completely right. However, if he asks for the edible type of candy and chips, what in the world will you say?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Suck it, Halpert**

Candy- Sour Skittles and/or Snickers. It's a toss up between the two.

Chips- French Onion sun chips, of course.

And how was that? I think I know you pretty well.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Attitude is everything**

Wow, you do know me pretty well.

Tell me, what am I doing right now?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Having sex with Stanley**

Read the above line.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Oh my gosh**

Wow. How did you ever guess I was into the hilarious black guy from the office?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Rum and Tequila**

Woman's intuition.

So, I have an idea.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Twirling Babies**

And what is this idea?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Sleeping Lobsters**

Question Eight: Tell me the circumstances of the last time you cried. I want details.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Uterii**

You're trying to castrate me.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: You castrate yourself**

Now why would I want to do that? You would be no good to me.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Aladdin**

Are you saying we're only friends because of my penis?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Eat your wheaties**

Use your head, Jim.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Playground sex**

That's what she said.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Cookie dough**

Okay, time to answer the question, pervert.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Ricola!**

Okay, fine… The last time I cried was actually last week. I'd had a really rough day, and I just needed to let some tears fall.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: I hope you cook your penis on your ****F****oreman grill**

Okay, um, totally not acceptable. I need the details, friend.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: My penis is not sausage!**

Fine. You were gone all day on Monday, and I missed you. I tried to get off of work early, but I found Dwight playing darts in the hallway and the dartboard was my face, so we had to have a long talk… Then I came home and I was kind of expecting a phone call from you since you usually call me at night if you weren't at work, but I didn't get one. I did get one from my niece (sister's daughter) who was sobbing because her dad is heading overseas to Iraq. He's part of the Reserves, but she was just so upset. She kept begging me to come and see her and give her a hug and I don't know. It broke my heart, okay?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Sausage is bigger.**

Oh, tough stuff. How old is your neice?

Where did Dwight get the Halpert dartboard? I totally want one.

I'm sorry I didn't call or email you. I didn't realize you wanted me to.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Breakfast Penises, now in your grocery store's frozen food aisle**

She's eight. Her name is Hannah. It's just really tough because her dad was overseas last year in Iraq for about eleven months, and I think Hannah is scared that he'll be over there for longer this time. She kept talking about how daddy was deserting her and was never coming back. I'm going to go visit her and my sister, Laura, at the end of the month.

You can pick them up at Target. They're $11.95 plus tax.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject:**** Daisies are the happiest flower**

Is Hannah normally a worrier? Wow, I can't imagine the pain of having someone you love overseas like that. Are you holding up okay?

You can talk to me about it if you want.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!**

Yeah, it's just a difficult situation. I think it's really hard for Laura because Walt is in the reserves, and they have all of these military friends who aren't, and they aren't being sent over there but he is. And on top of that Hannah's so upset. Caitlin is doing okay (the older one, she's 10), but Hannah is just having a difficult time. Laura says she keeps calling her every ten minutes at work talking about how much she misses her daddy and she won't let Laura go anywhere without her. She's constantly hanging on her and hugging on her… It just breaks my heart to see her this upset. And I know Laura is upset too, so it's just hard. Last time Walt was over there, they kept saying it would just be one month, but a month certainly lasts a lot longer in Iraq than it does here. I think Laura and Caitlin have both come to grips—as much as they can—with the idea that they have to worry about the phone call when they get it, not stress themselves over it now. But my Hannah. I don't know… She's just not normally like this. She's normally very bubbly and happy all the time… She was acting so strange that Laura actually asked her if something had happened at school or if someone had touched her or what. Laura called the school therapist to come in and talk to her, but they still haven't figured out what's wrong with her.

I kind of want to take Hannah out for a weekend or something, but I don't know what you do with an eight year old girl, and I really am not sure if I (or her mother) would feel comfortable with her away with just a "man" for the weekend. Even if I am an uncle, I'm sure there are some things a girl needs that dorky Uncle Jim can't give her.

Thanks for the ears (eyes?). I've been wanting to get it off my chest to someone (I can't talk to my sister, really because she's so upset already) but I didn't know how to bring it up. Now that you know, I might update you more as things progress.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject:****National Sarcasm Society**

Oh man… I'm sorry about that, Jim. I can't imagine having a husband or a father in the military. I think it would break my heart to see him leave and go risk his life. I wish I could tell you what to do to make Hannah feel better, but I'm not a miracle worker, unfortunately… I just really don't know what else to say.

If you still want to take Hannah, I don't know if this would be weird or not, but I could help you out. I really like kids, and maybe a fun weekend with Uncle Jim is just what she needs. Let me know…

You know, you can talk to me about anything you want. It won't be weird if you bring something up, whether it's personal or silly. That's what friends are for, and remember, I am the best friend. I am entitled to these kinds of things.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****Cycloptic Cupcakes**

I really appreciate that, Pam. All of it, I mean. Sometimes I just need to talk, you know? And thanks for the offer on helping me with Hannah. If you really mean that, I might take you up on it. And I know I can talk to you.

Now, when was the last time you cried?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject:**** Michael just told me he was the only dinosaur still living**

I really do mean that.

The last time I cried? The other night after I told you about Abby and Brian, but I'm assuming you probably wanted to know the last time before that.

Okay, I'm about to sound really lame… But it was right after I broke up with Roy… Well, not right after. I guess a few months after, about a month ago. You were with Katy, and Ryan and Kelly had just started dating, Meredith and Creed had their one night stand (and Phyllis too, apparently… but with someone else. Hopefully). Michael was dating both Carol and Jan, Oscar has always been dating Gil, Kevin and Stacey were doing well… I don't know, I was just lonely, and I was surrounded by all of these couples, and I had no idea where I'd find someone.

Wow, this is embarrassing.

So, I went online and I was shopping for shoes because I do that when I'm upset… And I saw this add for a chat room, and I clicked on it because I have this really bad habit of clicking on the pop-ups (once, I accidentally downloaded transvestite porn. Whoops!) and before I knew it was at this singles site for the worldly traveler (my shoes were from Italy, I guess it thought I liked to travel. I swear, Google is alive!). I created this whole profile page and everything. And normally if I was going to do something like this, I would be Patricia Stevens, a Hollywood model, age 24 with DD breasts and a flat stomach, but this time, I decided I would just be me… You know? So much pretending with Roy and just in general, I just wanted to be myself.

So, I typed up my entire profile. I was Pam, 27, receptionist, Pennsylvania. I liked to watercolor and watch silly movies and laugh. I was down to earth, not very spicy, but a good person.

I would say that generally sums me up, wouldn't you?

Well, let's just say the only hit I got was a jerk telling me that I should be ashamed of myself for looking the way I did and that I sounded like a real drag.

I deleted my account and seriously cried myself to sleep. Not that I care what Juan said, but it's just, like… I don't know. It hurt, because I was out there in black and white and nobody wanted to even know more about me… It was like a personal rejection. I don't know. Maybe I'll never get married. What if Roy was my only chance and I just blew it, Jim? I don't know….

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****Next week on The Bachelor**

Pam... First of all, you're an amazing person and any guy would be lucky to have you. And I mean that. You're beautiful and smart and funny and you can draw really good too. And you shouldn't have to be Patricia Stevens for a man to want to be with you. A true man would want to be with you just the way you are. And you know guys are sleaze balls. Or at least that guy was.

Why didn't you tell me how you felt about Katy? I would have liked to have known.

I am really, seriously impressed with your question today. Quality. Quality.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Oy, with the poodles already!**

Thanks, Jim… I think I'm starting to understand that… And I don't want to be anyone other than Pam because she's what I'm good at being. I was always a shoddy actor, and with Roy, sometimes I felt I had to act out and be what he wanted me to be. I would rather just be me… So thanks.

Would you have broken up with her? Because it made me sad you were with her? Honestly, Jim… I want you to be happy. My sadness shouldn't get in the way of that.

Thank you. I was impressed by your answer.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: I want to be where the people are!**

Acting is not your forte, but art sure is. Can I have a piece of art for Christmas? Or Hanukkah? Or Easter? Or Presidents Day?

Yes, I would have. I knew she wasn't right for me from the beginning. I wasn't ever looking for anything long term with her. If I would have known it made you uncomfortable/sad/upset, I would have stopped it of course. Seeing you sad has NEVER made me happy. Silly girl.

Did you hear Bob Hope passed away? Poor guy.

* * *

Thanks so much for reading! And just to let you know, the CD is kind of cool because the majority of the songs are taken from the iTunes playlists of Pam and Jim? Yep, that's right. They have playlists (as do Michael, Ryan, and Dwight) that you can download, and they have explanations too. I'm not sure how you find them within iTunes, but I found it off Office Tally. But yeah, some are from me, some are from them, the explanations are all me, and they're important. 

Review? Do I even need to say that?

TGIF!!!!!!!! I'll be writing bunches this weekend, playing with my "Hannah," and watching The Office (not on Writers strike, support 'em.), and ignoring my school work. WOO HOO!


	9. Body Parts

Wow, thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! This story is so much fun to write because the characters just seem to write it themselves. :)

As for the reviews:

PreppyPrincess- Hannah's not going anywhere, don't you worry.  
Deleon- I sent you a PM as a response to your review. Sorry again!  
Shattered- It is Boys Like Girls. I went in and changed it, thanks. :) The Perks of Being A Wallflower really is worth buying. I love it so much. :) Its so flattering you're actually reading and listening to the stuff I say, haha!  
Favorite Things- I'm glad you liked it!  
Doggy- I know... It's so sad. Stab him with colored pencils? Nice. And whispers Thank you. I hope this one is better.  
Kit Kat- I'm glad you picked up on that sentence. Jim or Pam may refer to it later. and cmon, what's a fic without sufjan?  
Nut- Hehe. I can't help it. I just cant help but picture Stanley's face... Haha. I'm so glad you liked Hannah! I was worried nobody would!  
Tuna- Thanks! I had gotten it off there but had no idea how to get to it. Here's the update!  
Katy- Oh my gosh! Haha. Stanley the sex machine. What a funny, funny image.  
Michelle- Yeah, the playlist is pretty interesting... They have interesting song choice (I wonder who picks them on the iTunes list?) Through Any Window is AMAZING.  
Elly- Hannah's story gets better! I hope you continue to enjoy it! And no, JP are not together. They are just flirting with each other like crazy :) As one would suspect they would if they're both single, yanno?  
Ruli- Don't worry, I won't be deserting the Hannah plot line anytime soon, you guys have just eaten it up!! Here is more!  
Amy- Thanks!!! I don't want it to end either, but it will eventually!  
Eagle- Haha, I love how our reviews/replies have become a series of miss congeniality quotes. thanks for your reviews, and just remember, smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

**

* * *

**

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Someone's after me lucky charms!**

Top of the morning to ya, Halpert.

Funny story. I don't know if you know this about me, but my mother is Scottish-Irish. Hence the curly hair thing I have going on and the green eyes? You know? Well, my Dad is this big burly man who doesn't care a lick about history or where we came from. It's really quite comical because my mom thinks it's the most important thing in the world. They had this huge fight when I was four (they fight so cute!) about how to best educate my sister and I on our family history. Nobody really won. But I swear, for a year after that, whenever we came downstairs dad would pour us a bowl of lucky charms and say, "Top 'er the mornin' to yer, girls!" And my mom would just laugh and roll her eyes at first, but by month seven or eight she was getting really annoyed. Then finally, one day, I came down for breakfast and my dad poured the lucky charms, opened his mouth to say "Top 'er the mornin' to yer, girl," and my mom came in the kitchen and said "JESUS CHRIST BILL! SHE KNOWS SHE'S IRISH!"

It was probably the funniest thing in my childhood. Because my mom would never, ever, yell out Jesus Christ, especially not at the dinner table, and especially not in front of her five year old daughter. My dad (Bill) just looked at her for a moment, and then turned to me and said, "Someone's after me lucky charms!"

I just remembered that today because Michael came in chanting "Hears, stars and horsehoes! Clovers and blue moons! Pots of gold and rainbows! And me red balloons!"

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Brush your teeth with Colgate**

Wow, Beesly. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I haven't had lucky charms since I was like, seven. But, they were my cereal of choice for a good five years or so. I can't decide if I like it better that we ate the same cereal growing up and your dad is a funny dork, or that Michael apparently eats lucky charms for breakfast. Or at least watches the commercial enough to know the whole song.

Your dad's name is Bill. Is your mother's name Angela?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****WILMA!!!**

Lucky charms were dang good, let me tell you. I think I ate that stuff even in college. I'll probably die pretty soon, but man was it good while it lasted!

No, my mother's name is Janet.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Julio, down by the schoolyard.**

You probably will die soon. Which will be sad.

My mother's name is Larissa. My father's name is Larry. We live in Lancaster, and we sell Lazy boys.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Oh man**

My mother's name is Margaret. My father's name is Magnus. We live in Mount Joy, and we sell Mangos.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: N****-****O**

My mother's name is Nancy. My father's name is Ned. We live in Naples, and we sell nothing.

My mother's name is Olivia. My father's name is Oliver. We live in Origami, and we sell O-town CDs.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Like stealing cake from a fat kid**

My mother's name is Phyllis. My father's name is Packer. We live in Pennsylvania, and we sell penises.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Penis R Us**

Oh my gosh.

You totally win at that game. Phyllis and Todd Packer and you are selling penises. Can you please tell me how much they cost? And how do they come? Do you pay by the inch? Or the pound? Or the mileage? Or the condition? And how much does an average penis cost?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Pancakes**

We don't sell average penises, Jim. We only sell exceptional penises. We have a 90 day guarantee. If your penis doesn't thrust, we'll exchange it for a new one, free of charge.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Do you sell on eBay?**

Well, if I ever need to sell my penis, I'll make sure to go to your company first.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: There must be steroids in macaroni**

We wouldn't take your penis.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Paris!**** Paris!**

Oh, burn! But to be honest, you haven't seen my penis. How do you know it's average?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Where is this going?**

I know it's not average. It's below average. It's like a little crayon.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Coldstone**** Creamery**

Are you telling me you draw with my penis?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Tommy Lee Jones**

No, I'm more into watercolor.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Puppies**

Watercolor with my….

Okay, question seven: Which of your body parts are you the most self-conscious about? Tell me why.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****F****rom: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Rocky Road**

Are these questions supposed to be this awkward to answer? I feel like I'm letting my entire soul go free into the open. It's kind of not fun, being this transparent… But I guess I'd rather be with you than anyone else.

And I watercolor with paints.

I guess I'm going to have to say my legs. They're short and kind of stocky, and I've just kind of always wanted longer ones. And I know this might be gross, or whatever, but hair grows way too fast. I swear I shave on Monday morning and by Monday night I need to shave again. It's so annoying. And my legs are pale! And they have freckles. And I hate my thighs… It just annoys me. I wish I had long, lean, tan legs like those girls who broadcast their legs on sunscreen bottles.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Pretty ****Pretty**** Princess**

Wow. I never would have guessed your legs. I've always really liked them.

I know they're awkward to answer, but don't you feel better after you do? Knowing that someone doesn't care about all of your weird quirks and is okay with who you are. You know? I guess I feel like if you get through enough awkward conversations and questions okay, eventually you'll be able to come up to me and just blurt out what you want and not worry about holding back. At least, that's what I'm hoping for with you. I think everybody needs that…. Transparency is good if you trust the other person.

Your answer is accepted. My answer would have to be my penis, after our last conversation.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Flannel pajamas**

You wouldn't have guessed my legs? Tell me, then, Jim, what would you have guessed?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Old Yeller's dead**

Woah, slow down, Lassie… I wasn't saying that to be mean or to make some sort of point that your legs are better than a certain other part. I was just saying that I don't think you need to be self-conscious about them… I really wouldn't have guessed anything. There's nothing wrong with you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Jungle Book**

Oh, okay. Well, thanks…

Will you tell me your real one now, please? I can't assure you otherwise if you stick with your "penis."

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Wastebaskets**

My real answer is my feet. They're big and awkward and there is hair growing on my toes, which is just really weird looking. I swear, I have gorilla feet. Or something like that. They're just huge. Did you know I wear a size thirteen? I have to order most of my shoes. Even Foot Locker doesn't carry them. It's horrible. And when I play basketball, I can't sneak around people very well because I end up tripping over them with my huge feet. Grr.

I have a question for you. What is your favorite part on a man?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Ahem**

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big in other areas too. Maybe my family will sell you after all.

My favorite part of a man? Smile, I think… No, I'll be honest, butt and thighs. Oh man. Send me to a Renaissance Fair any day! Robin Hood Men In Tights, yes please!!!

What about you?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject:**** Hemingway was an alcoholic**

Well, I agree with what they say. If penises had a shoe size, mine would be 13 as well.

Butts and thighs? Beesly!!!! That's way too good to be true. I will be sure to take you to a Renaissance Fair the next time they come in town. Is that why you were in ballet for so long?

I like the smiling eyes. Green, especially.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Hot Dogs.**

Butts and thighs are the new trend, Halpert. You're lucky you've got a nice set.

Haha. Stop teasing me.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Green eyes that smile…**

Why, thank you.

I'm not teasing you. I really do like your eyes when you smile.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: I dream of Jeannie**

Well, then, stop flirting…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Times New Roman, size 12**

Hey, I'm taking Hannah this weekend. Will you help me? The fair is in town. Maybe we can all go? I need help with this whole thing…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Jean jackets**

Yeah, I'd love to go with you guys and help you. Why don't you meet me at the guilty pleasure hot spot right after work and we can brainstorm ideas. I am an ultimate girl party planner. She won't know what hit her.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Corn dogs**

You're the best.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed it! Review and let me know what you think :) 


	10. Partner

Doggy- Thanks! I love the penis talk too. I've never noticed Jim's feet either, I just love every bit of him and that's the part I don't see.  
Katy- Haha! I love how I'm not writing fast enough, but yet I'm writing 2-3 chapters a day! haha. Here's your new update.  
Shattered- Haha, she could.. but she's not going to. :)  
beesly- O-town! Gotta love em.  
Brody- my favorite penis line is when pam says "We only sell exceptional penises".  
Tuna- Oh yeah, I love me lucky charms.  
Amy- thanks! here's more!  
KitKat- Well, I am pretty magical!! Hehe. Thanks for the specifics. the butts/thighs thing is actually a direct quote from my best friend.  
Gracie- thanks!!!  
Eagle- I'm glad you liked the lucky charms bit! That and the penis made that my favorite chapter :) "I stole red panties from a department store one time."  
TV- Here ya go!  
Lauren- Thanks for reading and reviewing on this one!!! I hope you keep reading!  
Claire- Penis jokes are my life. Seriously.

Thanks for the reviews! I'm so glad everyone likes the Hannah storyline; I debated including it, but I'm glad I did. She makes an appearance in the next chapter :) Also, if anyone can tell me what the last few emails are referencing indirectly, I'll give you a cookie.

Oh, and in an effort to let Pam and Jim write the story, I ended up letting go of a few of my questions. If any of you have any ideas, let me know.

**

* * *

**

**To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Where did you get that sweater, missTJ Maxx?**

Thanks for all your help last night. Little Hannah will have her hands full this weekend! I know she'll love you. It will be so cool for her to get to hang out with someone that's not old and wrinkly, but isn't five. I know she'll be thrilled. Seriously, thanks for offering to come to the fair and make fun food and have a sleepover with her this weekend. I know you have better things you could do.

So, I was rereading my Harry Potter books last night. Honestly, why would you ever name a character Harry Potter? That's such an odd name. It's like naming your child Moonshine Horseshoe. It's just ridiculous. Do you agree, or do you agree?

Your legs look very nice today.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Sorority clothing**

Sure, anytime. I think a day or two away will be just what she needs. Junk food always makes a girl feel better.

Harry Potter is as equivalently strange as the name Jim Halpert.

And shut up.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Marmelade**** skies**

But I'm actually serious... Your legs DO look good today.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Lucy in the sky with diamonds!**

That's what Carlos/Freddie said.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Snarfblasters**

Maybe I won't let you hang out with my niece this weekend…. That was just… I'm speechless.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: nail polish**

Think about what's best for Hannah, not what makes you feel awkward.

Are you ready for our tenth question? We're almost halfway done, how scary is that? I feel like we just started being awkward.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Show me the money!**

I'm always ready.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Freddie ****got**** fingered**

Question Ten: What do you look for in a partner?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Solitaire**

A partner… for ping-pong? Um, has to be Chinese, wear white outfits, and be able to run fast.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: 1979 ****Do****d****geball**** Champion**

What do you look for in a woman? To be your girlfriend, wife, etc. Also, an addition: Paint for me a picture of your perfect date with your perfect girl.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject:**** I need mo' allowance!**

What do I look for in a woman? Well, let's see. She has to be absolutely gorgeous. I love green eyes, and curly blondish-brownish hair. She has to have a pretty laugh… I don't mind if her legs are a little strange, as long as the rest of her is beautiful. She has to smile more than she frowns. She has to have a pretty voice—not one of those scratchy voices that makes you want to hang up the phone. She better like jelly beans, have good taste in music, and have a great sense of humor and a knack for pulling off a prank. She needs to be spontaneous, yet still organized. She has to be able to put up with me. If she can make dirty jokes, that's a major plus. She needs to be sensible, and sensitive to me and my feelings. And she has to be willing to be silly every now and then…

My perfect date with my perfect girl would consist of me and her going out to dinner and laughing the entire time… Maybe we'd go back to my place and watch crappy reality television, and then perhaps she'd fall asleep on my couch. She'd look so adorable sleeping I wouldn't want to wake her up. I guess we would just have a good conversation and lots of fun together.

Does that satisfy?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Phase 10**

Wow, she sounds like a real keeper. I hope you find her.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: It's Meredith. I can't help it. She just turns me on.**

It's your turn to answer.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Maybe you can have a three way with her and Creed**

Okay. I guess I look for a man who knows how to treat a woman right. He has to be loving and caring and want to spend time with me more than he wants to spend time with his beer or his brother or anybody else. He has to be strong, but he has to use his strength to stick up for me, not to put me down. He has to be emotionally strong, but not afraid to let me in and tell me what's bothering him. He has to feel comfortable telling me anything, and he can't be on a power trip just because he's the male. He needs to remember what I talk to him about and make efforts to change if I ask… And I would like for him to have an iPod, so I can listen to it.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: It's a ****boys**

Okay, and what does this character look like? And the date?

Good luck finding one of those.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Scooby-doo!**

Oh, right, sorry. He has shaggy brown hair that falls around his face… I don't care what color eyes, but blue is nice… I'm done with big and burly, I want him to look normal. He's got to be tall. I want to be able to look up to him when I kiss him and put my arms around his neck. And he has to have a great butt and amazing thighs…

And our date would consist of me and him seeing a play, having grilled cheese sandwiches on the rooftop, and swaying to music because contrary to popular belief, swaying is dancing.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****You've got**** mail**

See, I hate it when people think swaying isn't dancing. It so totally is.

So, should I just call you in the morning when Hannah wakes up? I'm driving down to get her in a minute, and we'll get back in late tonight. I don't know, what do you want to do?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Black pants**

Jim, relax. It's going to be fine, and she's going to love hanging out with Uncle J-bone. What girl wouldn't? Just give me a call in the morning when you're up and ready to go do something. If I don't hear from you by 10:30, I'll call you. I _think_ I have your number around here somewhere.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cell phones**

Oh please, I know I'm your six.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Bop to the top!**

You are my six. And I'm yours, aren't I?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Here's a quarter, call someone who cares**

Yep. We gotta match.

WHAT IS DWIGHT WEARING?!?!!?!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Pittsburgh**

I don't know, but it's dayum funny.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Battleship**

Michael and Dwight are playing battleship. Dwight called out "You missed!" and Michael said "That's what she said." And Dwight said, "Who's she?" and Michael said "Your mom." Dwight looked mortified.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: The Chinese**

Sudoku. Level: Moderate. Time: 18 minutes. Suck on that, Halpert.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: After college, it****'s called**** alcoholism**

Oh my gosh, COME BAAAAAACK!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Q-tips**

Your mother called. She wants to know if you've been using her fabric softener. She says call her back on Dad's phone. She flushed hers down the toilet.

I find out so much about people by being a receptionist.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: HP ****Laserjet**** 1140**

The woman from the American Girl store called for Angela today to tell her that her order is in. I nearly laughed my ass off.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: 4****:28**

I can't stand it anymore. I'm leaving. It's so boring without you. See you tomorrow.

* * *

Review, review!!! Thanks for reading!!! Next chapter... The results of Hannah's stay, and a question everybody has been waiting for is asked. Review to see it! 


	11. Dinner

Well, Hannah darling is back. Can I just say how awesome it is that I can post a chapter and within an hour I have 7 reviews? That's just freaking unbelievable, and it makes me feel so good as a writer to have that many loyal fans of my work. You guys are awesome! And, if you haven't noticed, I only post this fast because you guys make me. I have a, let's say, "quota" you have to reach for each of the chapters before I post the next one. So far you've stepped up to the plate, can you do it this time too?

elly- there's another one in here for you! thanks for your comment, and i'm sad too. it is bittersweet. just think about it this way, i've written through chapter 15, so i'm EXTRA sad!  
nut- which type of cookie would you like? i have peanut butter, chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, heath bar, white chocolate macademia... actually, i'll just give them all to you. oh, and im glad you caught the threeway mention. just try and imagine how gross that would be.  
katy- man girl, how fast do you think i can write this story, anyway? haha. i have to eat and sleep and put on deodorant, and that takes time. :)  
eagle- im glad you enjoyed it. "So, if you're on the phone with someone and you can't get them to shut up, what do you say? if you say aloha, won't they just start talking all over again?"  
favorite- thank you thank you!  
amy- thank you! hopefully this one will warrant the same sort of reaction!  
booky- hehe slightly obvious... and then there's THIS chapter.  
elizabeth- so glad to have a new reader!! um, i cant help you with your spanish test, but i can help you with the distractions!  
shattered- aww thanks! funny what babysitting can do to inspire a new fic, huh? question: does this count as a "good update"?  
deleon- thanks! i had a hard time with them! glad to know you liked them.  
kit kat- yeah, i really love pam's description to. especially the whole part about swaying is totally dancing. it sets up this chapter nicely.  
leah- jim went to go pick up hannah! i think thats what you meant. he's back now. :) since it's so sad it's already on 10 and that's halfway to 20, do you want me to update less? maybe then the story would be slower and you wouldn't be as sad? ;)  
finding disco- i can update slower if you'd like, haha... oh, and that's not the question, haha. I just threw in jim's mom's phone's toilet escapade for shits and giggles. we'll never know the answer to that. just make it up in your head! (i think it was on the counter and it vibrated into the toilet and she didn't realize until she flushed it? who knows)  
brown- well, i like your hobbit feet.

man, i feel like half of my fic is just replying to all of your reviews! haha. i seriously can't believe i have over 100 reviews on this story, and it's not even halfway done yet!! you guys are amazing! and silent readers, talk to me a bit!

**

* * *

To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Pink flowered headbands**

Wow. I had so much fun this weekend. Hannah is such a sweet girl. I can see how much you love her when you play with her. The fair was pretty fun. It's always fun to watch little kids enjoy rides that really should make kids throw up their livers or something. Anyway, Jim, she's so adorable. I love the curly blonde hair. It's just so adorable.

Did you see her face when we were watching Pretty in Pink? I really honestly think she enjoyed it, even amidst the "oh my god"s and "gross"s. She totally loved it. However cute she was while you were there, she was extra cute when you retired to your little boy's bedroom. We stayed up late and chatted about boys and brownies and best friends and puppies. It was really fun. And, I just think you should know that we are friends now. And she adores me. So there. Your niece is my new best friend. Whatcha gonna do, Halpert?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Pulminectories**

Wow, I don't know if it's more pathetic that your best friend is eight or that you think I care?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: #2 Pencils**

You do care.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Scrubs**

You're right, I do care. And thanks for being there for her. She really needs someone to talk and laugh with right now. I can't tell you how much it means to me. You're a really great friend, Beesly.

I got a phone call from her last night telling me how much she adores you. She asked for your phone number, and I hope you don't mind, but I gave it to her… She just pleaded and prodded.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: On-call room?**

I don't mind at all, Jim. Just as long as I get to put hers in my phone, too.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Butterfly earrings**

Okay, so…. Question eleven?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Argyle**

Wow, I'm so glad our relationship has become one of questions and answers, and not true communication.

I'm just kidding. Lay it on me.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Bread**

Question eleven: Are you free for dinner tonight?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Te****letubbies**

Jimothy. That is a kind of lame question. Not only is it not more personal than our latest cries, but it is also obvious because I'm a single girl. Of course I'm free for dinner tonight. I'm free or dinner every night. Can you please give me the real question now?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: High School Musical**

No, Pam, I meant… are you free for dinner tonight? Can I take you out to dinner, on a date? Please tell me that's more personal than crying… And I want you to be completely truthful with your answer, don't say yes unless you really want to go.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Italian Food**

I've decided that you can take me out to dinner tonight. Nothing fancy or foreign, no bars, no patios, no vegetables, and no seafood.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Aliens**

Is this Pam?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: The New Testament**

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I had to give some boundaries…

Before I truly answer, what possessed you to ask me out on a date?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Tortoises**

You're really scaring me, Pam. C'mon. I put myself out there, and you're not even telling me what side you're leaning toward.

I asked you out on a date because I want to be more than just best friends. And I care about you, and I want you to be happy, and I think I can make you happy if you let me. After all, you make me happy.

Besides, after I typed out my vision of the perfect girl in response to your last question, I realized you fit every one of those requirements. And, for an added bonus, you play laser tag.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Patricia Stevens**

I'm just Pam, receptionist, 27, Pennsylvania. You know that, right?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Casual Fridays**

Yes… and I like that.

Please answer. Why are you holding off on me? Your answer isn't acceptable yet.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: iPods**

Well, where would a guy like you take a girl like me?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Words: 792**

Well, I already took you to a play, a rooftop dinner with grilled cheese, and swayed to an iPod with you, so I'm not really sure. I was thinking maybe dinner and then a walk around "Lake" Scranton.

Or maybe we can play Frisbee together…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Topless babes**

On a scale of 1-10, how nervous are you right now?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: You are so mean**

I'm like a 12, okay. Now will you please answer the question? Can I take you out to dinner tonight?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Spider Solitaire**

Jim, of course you can take me out to dinner.

Now, time to answer your own question. Are you free for dinner tonight?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sleeves**

No, I'm not free for dinner tonight. I have a date with a woman with awesome legs. Maybe tomorrow night, if you ask before she does.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Turabian**

I'm sure she'll beat me to the punch.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Classic Cookies**

I sure hope so.

I'll pick you up at seven?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Best friends**

Okay, seven works. And it's not a school night, so we can stay out later!!

I can't wait to call Hannah and tell her. We've been talking about this.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: LIAR**

You are Dwight. Your dentist's name is not Crentist!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Cuginos**

You're right, it's not. He's Dr. Barr.

And we have too.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: NO WAY!**

I go to Dr. Barr too! SWEET!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Orange**

Really? What color toothbrush did he give you last time? I got the orange one with little flowers on it.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Knock-Knock**

I got the Superman one. Up, Up and Away!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Spell check**

Well, good to know that if we ever pull a Disney ending neither of us will have to change dentists.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Flounder!**

I would change dentists for you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: You killed my father! Prepare to die!**

Thank you?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Pink polka dots**

My doctor is Dr. Bales.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Larissa ****Halpert**

Are you telling me all of this so you can change your mother from your emergency contacts?

PS. I would change dentists for you too.

* * *

Well, there we go. Changin' it up on you a bit. What do you think? Bad decision? Good decision? Do we like them dating? Do we like Hannah? Sorry for all the Grey's references up there, I was watching the episode as I was writing, so... Yeah.

The next chapter goes deep again. And, has longer emails between the two of them... So, get excited.

On a side note: it cracks me up that you guys think I'm IC with Jim and Pam. I really think I'm just talking to myself constantly and calling it a "fan fic". Haha.

Oh, and negotiations next monday for the writers/producers! Woo hoo!!!


	12. Regrets

Wow! I have no idea how many reviews I got on the last chapter, but it was definitely in the 20s! Thanks for all of them, guys! They mean so much to me and really help me to write the next few chapters. And don't worry, JAM is staying together (due to OVERWHELMING support of their coupleship by you readers) and Hannah will be making some sort of splash in the later episodes (I know of one thing right now). Question for you all: Would you like to see emails FROM Hannah, or do you just want her mentioned here and there, here and there.

Preppy- Thanks for making it so clear-cut to me what you like! Haha. Hannah and dating, check.  
KitKat- I'm glad you loved it! And YAY negotiations!  
Shattered- Well good, I am glad I could suffice! Hope your movie was as good as this chapter!  
Allison- Thank you!  
Staree- Thanks! I'm glad to hear you're still reading and I didnt lose you!  
Eagle- Oh, their date was fun, too. :) "We would hate for any of our girls to be blown up... Especially without their knowledge"  
Leah- Jimdorable! I love it. May use it, if that's alright with you. :)  
Lily- I'm not planning on things getting dirty... I mean, they're doing emails. And they're not going to be having sex through email, so I'd say you're pretty safe. But if it gets any dirtier than previous chapters, I'll disclaimer it.  
Gracie- Good! I'm glad! And the Grey's references are going to come in heavy in a later chapter! I only watch three shows, I have to reference them all (See laser tag reference, How I Met Your Mother)  
Doggy- HAHAHAHAH! That is so funny! If you remember what you were going to say, I'd love to hear it. Haha. Wow. I'm glad you liked this chapter!  
Lauren- The first time I read your comment, I thought you said least twice, and I was like "oh she hated it! Dang..." hah but then I re-read it. And what a compliment! Thank you!! I couldn't figure out how would be the cutest way to do it, so I just let them write it and this is what turned out.  
Nutmeg- Wow, I love that line. "I'm glad they would change dentists for each other, if that isn't true love, I don't know WHAT is." Peanut Butter cookies hurled your way.  
Elly- I LOVE that idea!!!! I definitely will consider it, and if I do decide to put it up, I'll update a chapter in this story telling you all of it. Also, I do post on MTT, but I NEVER get very many reviews. I have three (I think) of my stories up there, and I have 4 reviews for each of them, so I'm more keen to post here.  
Unfolding- Thanks so much! I was wondering where all of those hits were coming from! It's just nice to have interaction with the readers as much as possible! I really enjoy it!  
Booky- I'm glad you love my little triad of cute characters! And I thought you would understand--I love your story with the IMs.  
Katy- Of course it is! Haha, I don't need your harassment for writing because the characters are harassing me enough! I can't seem to do anything with them in my brain! But if it's ever a day or two without an update, that's when you leave a review and harass!  
Favorite- Thank you Thank you! Here it is!  
Pam- I'm glad you loved the ask-out. I wasn't sure how it would be, and I debated not doing it in an email and having one of them email the other afterwards, but I thought you all should see it in all it's glory. And you can come switch to Dr. Barr because here I am!  
Vicki- Greys! What else is there in this world?  
Dejah- Thanks so much for your review! I really appreciate it when people criticize my work because it helps me to have an eye for the other side of things. As for the graphic comment, I do agree with you. But, I think I kind of set up for it a bit at the beginning when Jim made his rule that they had to be completely honest, and Pam made her rule to say exactly what was on her mind and never backspace. I can totally picture Pam typing out a dirty email and then deleting it all... This way she can't do it. And I think Jim would respond dirty if he could. So that's where that came from!  
Elizabeth- Thanks so much for your review!! Squealing is always a good thing, I always do it when I get reviews. haha. I'm a dork! Here's a next chapter for you to blow off steam after that horrible Spanish test! I hope you did well!  
Literati- So we meet again! I'm glad you like this story, and wow, what a compliment about it being one of the best! Thanks so much!!  
Ruli- Hahaha, I thought you would like this question! More Hannah will be coming, and the dentist thing was just so random. I'm not sure how it even popped into my head, but it did. Go figure. Up, Up and Away!!!

**

* * *

To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Ducks QUACK QUACK**

Wow… I'm writing this from home and emailing it to myself as well because I know Monday morning I'll want to remember how ridiculously stupid I sound seeing as I'm writing this email at one in the morning. I just can't sleep. And it's one of those things where it might be smarter to email someone else, but I don't know who else I could email. My best friend is an eight year old… My other best friend (boyfriend? Man I go on amazing dates with?) is the reason I can't seem to fall asleep. So I don't know. I'd email my mother but she doesn't know how to turn on her computer, and my sister would probably just shoot me for being so lightheaded. She just came out of a divorce, she's a bit cynical now.

So here I am, at one in the morning on Saturday, just an hour and fifteen minutes after you walked me to my door. I changed out of my "date outfit" and into my pajamas and crawled in bed, but I couldn't stop smiling so I just kind of laid there and tossed and turned for a while, and now here I am, sitting at my computer, typing you this email that I probably never should have even started.

I really had a lot of fun tonight. I know that I always have fun with you, so dinner at Cuginos and a walk around Lake Scranton really shouldn't excite me this much, but it did. I'm sure we've done it before at one time or another, but it's just different today. Getting dressed up, curling my hair, making sure my eyes smile. It's fun to dress up if you have a reason, you know? And you looked mighty handsome. Whatever you wore really enhanced the butt and thighs aspect of your look. Giggle.

Oh my gosh, how funny was that dog today? All of the little teenagers are walking around feeding the ducks and talking smack and then that couple's dog ran into the middle of the lake to chase the ducks! Oh man. I swear, we must have watched the dog (Riley was his name, wasn't it?) run away from his owner for a good ten minutes. And then when the guy got in the gunk infested water and swam after the dog… Oh that was too funny! I loved it.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do to soothe myself to sleep… Maybe I'll go take a bath.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Soothing…**

I find it funny that you can't sleep either. I had a good time tonight. Thanks for coming to dinner with me. And for watching Riley the retriever be a pain. The entire time I was watching the dog swim away and the owner swimming after it, I was picturing Michael as the dog and Dwight as the owner chasing after him. Tell me if that's not funny.

I know I stammered it out earlier today, but you looked beautiful today. And I still don't understand what you mean about your legs. You have great legs, silly. You just have great everything.

Maybe it excites you because it's something new?

Remember when my ass vibrated today during dinner? It was Laura, calling to tell me that Hannah woke up happy this morning and only called her once all day (did I tell you she's been calling Laura ten times every day while she's at work?). She couldn't figure out why because Han's not really talking to her much right now, but she thinks it has something to do with me. I think it has something to do with you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Arma****-get-it-on**

Aww, I had just gotten up to grab a towel and my shampoo and stuff from the other room when Tim McGraw told me I have mail. It's this new thing with my email client. You can download a celebrity's voice and they'll tell you when you have mail. I have Tim McGraw. I don't know why. Well I do. Have you ever seen a nicer pair of thighs and butt? Honestly. I guess I was hoping I could see those yummy parts through the voice. Ahem.

Why didn't you tell me you were picturing Michael and Dwight? That's hilarious. I was picturing Dwight as the dog and Michael chasing him, honestly… And then the girlfriend cheering on the ground was Kelly. Hehe. Wow, so funny. I think we should bring a leash into work and see if we can't get Dwight to get down on all fours. Woof! Woof!

We are so lame. smiles

I'm so glad to know she's doing better. So glad to hear it. I'm sad she's still not talking to her mom or Caitlin, but at least she's talking and smiling—that's a start. I had so much fun with her last weekend I almost forgot what she was like when I first met her. You could see a big change in her by the end of the weekend, and I was hoping she wouldn't go back home and clam up again. I'm glad to see she's starting to let herself go a bit.

What do you think it has to do with me?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Kurt Cobain**

WOW! I am totally down for trying to get Dwight on all fours. Please try it! And also, if we can get him to bark and wear a collar, I'll take you to China. Seriously, that would be the funniest sight ever. We should get him a personalized collar. Put his full name and then the address for the pound under it. And we can get him a collar that's the color of beets. Oh wow. I would pay money to see Dwight bark.

We're cute though.

Yeah, she has changed a lot. I'm just really glad to see her happy. Has she called you at all since she asked for your number. I'm just curious?

Wow, I'm about to fall asleep. I'm going to wait up for you to reply for like ten minutes, then I'm going to hit the sack. Tomorrow I'm going to the Flea Market in the morning. Maybe we can get together and play Frisbee in the afternoon?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Firecrackers**

I'm trying to type this back within ten minutes! We'll see!

Yes, on the Frisbee tomorrow. I'll bring my happy face Frisbee that I got from Wal-Mart if you'll bring the dorky chemistry goggles and wear your 70s khaki shorts that end high up on your thighs with the socks that go up to your knees. Please, please be Jon Heder. I actually think it's such a turn on… Khaki shorts. Mmm.

I kind of feel weird telling you this, but you asked, and I didn't offer the information, so it's not too bad. Just don't disclose it to Hannah or Laura. Yeah, I've been talking to her. She called me Monday night after she got my number from you, and she's called me a few times since then. Not every night, but two or three times this week. I'm not sure why she all of a sudden woke up happy this morning. We didn't talk about much of significance last night. Monday and Tuesday when we talked about her dad, it was a lot more of a revelation type thing. Between you and I, the reason I think she's not talking to anyone is because everyone she can talk to is so close to the situation, if that makes sense. Maybe she feels like she'll make Laura or Caitlin sadder by talking about it? I'm not sure, just a thought. Last night we talked about her gymnastics. Her gym has a huge meet coming up in a few weekends. Labor day weekend, I think it was. She asked if I could come, and I told her I would try my hardest. She told me I could bring you if I felt like it ;) It was funny. Anyway, her and Caitlin are both competing and apparently it's her first big meet. So... She got off the phone right after we talked about that, though. So I don't think it had anything to do with me. But... will you come with me?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: It's 2:29!**

That's what she said.

Yes, I'll go to her meet with you. I have to admit though, I am a bit jealous she's talking to you. I want her to talk to you and get everything out, I just miss her. And I know Laura and Caitlin miss her too. Maybe next time she calls you or you call her you can tell her to talk to them a bit… I'm not going to lie, it's kind of strange that you're talking to my niece. Not in a bad way, it's just… If we told a stranger about this, they'd probably think it was nuts or a little weird. But it's not. And I trust you with her, and Laura does because I told her to. Thanks.

Did you just tell me Jon Heder turns you on? I will wear khaki shorts for you, if you promise to grant one of my wishes later. In the blind. You have to grant it, even if you don't like it. And don't worry, I won't make it something awful.

Anyway, call me tomorrow morning when you wake up. I'll talk to you then. Now, I'm off to sleep.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Jockstraps**

Hi.

So I just opened our little chain of emails from Friday night, and it was just a tiny bit embarrassing. At least you wrote me back and flirted with me too. Although, in retrospect, I probably should have just emailed my sister. Not that you aren't great, but when you dish about a boy, you should do it to your sister, not the boy.

So anyway… Dwight is wearing a shirt that says, "Scranton Male Swimsuit Competition, 2004." Do you think he picked it up at Goodwill? I really, honest to God hope so. Oh, and I brought the leash… You know, if you want to try it.

Can I ask you something, Jim?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Czolgosz****, working man**

I asked Dwight about his shirt. I got the following response:

"What do you think, Jim? The Schrute's don't shop at Goodwill. It has a long history of selling items that mix cotton and polyester, and the Schrute family only wears 100 percent cotton at all times. Even our underwear is 100 percent cotton. I got this shirt from participating in the Scranton Male Swimsuit Competition in 2004. I was runner-up. Mose won."

So, there you have it. I can't imagine what his competition was if he and Mose were the top two finishers. Would you ever want to judge the Schrute family swimsuit competition?

The leash? Sweet! I have the dog collar… How are we going to manage this one?

Sure, you can ask me something.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Vera Bradley**

Wow. I never pictured Dwight as 100 percent cotton. I would think he would go with the silk long johns.

I can't imagine what the competition was. Nor do I want to. Gross.

You'll figure it out.

What should I call you?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****TPS**** Reports**

Call me Jim. It is my name.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Internet explorer**

That's not what I meant, and you know it.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert****Subject:  
Babies are for lovers  
**  
You mean our relationship? Call it whatever you want.

Can I have question twelve please?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: The kiss will know if the lips stay still**

Jim, stop it. I want to know what you're thinking.

Question Twelve: What is your biggest regret?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Elon**

I don't know, Pam. I don't know what you want it to be. I've wanted to be with you for a long time, so it's hard for me to sit here and tell you that when I'm not sure how you're feeling or what you want out of it.

My biggest regret…. Not telling you that you shouldn't have been with Roy. I watched you with him for so long, and I knew he wasn't right for you, and I wanted you to be happy so bad… But I didn't want to hurt you. I knew he wasn't right for you, but who was I to say anything? Maybe if I'd said something to you, you would have gotten out of it earlier and avoided more heartbreak… I don't know.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Pooperman**

Hey, it's okay to be vulnerable with me, buddy. You don't have to be nervous about it. You know we're friends through thick and thin.

So, you want to be with me? Is that what I heard out of there? (Not teasing, just making sure I heard you correctly)

You could have said something, but I'm not sure it would have forced me away from him at all… I mean, there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding, and you made me realize a ton of them, but still. If you'd come flat out and said it wasn't right and that I shouldn't marry him… I don't know, I might have just to spite you. I was hurting so much, and you were a cause of that. I was confused… I wouldn't regret not saying something. I have to make my own decisions, and sometimes, you have to be heartbroken to realize what you really want and need out of life.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: They Might Be Giants**

I know it's okay. It's still hard for me, though.

Yes, I want to be with you. Listen to the Green Eyes song again and tell me if you really think the only part that reminds me of you is _green eyes that smile._ (Hint: What follows that line is "and I want you now.")

But, it doesn't matter what I want if it's not what you want.

I'm sorry I hurt you… I never meant to. I'm not sure how I did, but I'm assuming you're talking about how I wasn't a good friend to you. I don't know, Pam… Things were just so awkward when you were with him. Not in a necessarily bad way, because you were with him the whole time, so our relationship was based on awkwardness, but still… I'm sorry you had to be heartbroken to realize what you wanted and needed out of life… I guess I just didn't realize you were as unhappy as you were.

Will you tell me your biggest regret now?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject:****Ruttabagas**

I thought so. I listened to your CD the other night. It made me smile, a lot. California Stars is a great song. I'm assuming you were talking about me when you mentioned it reminded you of a girl you knew. But yeah, I figured that wasn't the only part of Green Eyes.

You know, I want to be with you too. Don't be afraid of being so open, sometimes the other person is just waiting for you to be. I need to know that you're going to be open with me, Jim. Otherwise, it will never work. I can't do another relationship where both of us are closed and reserved. I need to be able to tell you what I'm thinking, and I need to trust that you'll do the same. Okay?

You just hurt me with the whole Katy thing, I guess… I always valued your friendship so much, and whenever you started dating, you pulled away from me a bit, and it hurt so much. I don't know, I guess I didn't realize that was more than just the surface talking. I've always been really invested in you.

I'm not sure what my biggest regret is. I don't really have any. I think I believe that everything happens for a reason and has a purpose, and it might just be a purpose for stringing other events together or making you grow stronger, but there's still a purpose there… I just look back on my life and there are so many things that have gone wrong but they've only made me stronger… You know?

I guess though, that if I had to pick one thing I would change, I wouldn't have gone out with Abby and Brian and Roy that night… The memory of it just haunts me so much.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Fruit snacks**

Don't say that, Pam. It might have been painful for you, and you might look back on it with sadness and dread, but think about it from Abby's shoes. She got to spend her last night out with her best friend, eating pizza and laughing and having a good time. If you had to pick what you were going to do on your last day on earth, wouldn't you want to do something similar?

But yeah, I see what you mean about regrets and how everything works together. It amazes me how sure of it you are, with all you've been through. I haven't been through nearly as much, and I'm still not sure that everything has a reason or a purpose… I guess I know that there's a reason I'm working at Dunder-Mifflin and maybe it's to meet you, but other than that… I don't know.

I never meant to push you away, Pam. I guess I just didn't realize I was doing it. There was some part of me that believed that I couldn't be as close to you as I was while still being a good boyfriend. I kind of felt like I was cheating by being your best friend… And so maybe that's why I pushed you away a little bit. I don't know. I never meant to hurt you, though.

Well then, I guess in answer to your question, why don't you just refer to me as your boyfriend? That is, if you're okay with that.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Green bean cake**

I guess you're right. If I had to pick my last day on earth, I'd want to spend it with my best friend and my boyfriend. So maybe it was for the best. Sometimes it's just hard to see the good of a situation through your own eyesight. I guess I needed you to let me see your rose colored glasses.

About what you said though… You're almost there. You just have to delve deeper. There's a reason you were born in Pennsylvania, there's a reason you went to a certain college, met certain people, opened up the newspaper and found this job opening, applied for it, met me… It all just works together. If you'd been born to a different family, in Antarctica, do you really think you'd go to the same college, work here, meet me? It just all works together. I just wonder if maybe it's too coincidental for it to be coincidental, you know? There's a reason behind it all. Even if it is just to bring two stubborn people together.

Boyfriend it is.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lime green**

So, you want to spend your last day on earth with me and Hannah? How cute.

Okay, I see what you mean. I'll think about it a bit more.

You're talking to Dwight… What are you talking to Dwight about? Oh my gosh, did he just get down on all fours? Oh my gosh, Pam! HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Yorkshire Terriers**

It's not that difficult, Jim. I just told Dwight that Staples was running an ad with a dog that barked out orders about buying more paper. Dwight took offense to it, and decided that a human dog was more personable and approachable. We decided he should go down to Staples soon and stand outside the store and bark for Dunder Mifflin. He was about ready to go, but I convinced him to stay and practice.

Please tell me you took a picture? Not only was he wearing a leash, AND his collar, but he was barking out orders. He even lifted his leg, pretending to pee on Toby. Tell me, does that not deserve mad props.

Oh, and that was cute when you gave him a bone.

Now, I want my trip to China.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Mesmerized**

You're the best girlfriend ever, do you know that?

* * *

Review, please! I'm not expecting this to be your favorite chapter after the question from the last one, but I still want to hear your thoughts and feelings about it!!! I hope you liked it. 

My questions for you: Should Hannah start emailing? Would you like to see a story in novel format that picks up between the emails? Anything else you want to tell me? A question you want me to answer?

Teaser: Sex. Mockery. And one thing that all of you will love... Or maybe hate. But I think love.


	13. Firsts

Wow! I got a lot of mixed ideas on the Hannah/novel format thing. Let me clear up what I was talking about on the latter, and then I'll get to what I decided on the former. The novel format- I wasn't talking about putting bits of information between emails in this story. I'm talking about, when this story is over, creating another story that picks up at the same time as this one and tells you what went on during their dates, time with Hannah, how Pam got Dwight to be a dog, etc. etc. I think some of you misinterpreted our friendship. Err, what I said. Or maybe I just said it wrong. And as far as the Hannah thing, I was leaning towards no anyways, but I wanted to check and make sure it wasn't something you guys wanted. She'll just be mentioned :)

And the Dwight as a dog thing, I'm so glad you liked it. I kind of felt like it was a stretch and I didn't feel too creative, but I'm glad you all thought it was realistic.

And right now I kind of dont like FF because it keeps ruining my formatting and it won't let me use hyperlinks. GRR.

Xliterati- Isn't it fun to imagine? thanks again!  
Eagle- I love making people smile, haha. I'm glad you enjoyed Pam making a fool of herself. And "We're the only one we got? Doesn't look promising."  
Elly- Oh, thanks! There are actually a lot more of them on here. There's one MTT wouldn't let me post that I think is my best story yet (Shattered Everythings). I'm glad you love my JAM playlist one--it's updated more frequently here because nobody reviews me over there! haha. Thank you about the IC comment, I really appreciate it and it really helps me! I try to be as in character as I can.  
Vicki- WOOF WOOF!  
Katy- Haha. I like your idea of excerpts, and they might come into play, but I'm not sure.. If I do write another story similar to this one, I'll post a final chapter on here AFTER the final chapter telling you all that the new story is up and it's name etc. etc.  
Shattered- I don't think the song is actually called Green Eyes, but I can't figure out what it is called. I can't find it anywhere either. I'll see if I can upload it to my page (If you go to my bio page, there's a link there to the songs that are in my JAM playlist. I'll upload it there) AND YES! I love TWSS! Haha  
Unfolding- Haha, have you seen "Dwight's" facebook? He has that celebrity look alike thing, and it's funny because Rainn Wilson pops up but they look a lot different! He amuses me too!  
Dancer- I love Hannah too. I just want to pick her up and twirl her around.  
Nutmeg- Tee-hee, I love your reviews. They always make me giggly and happy.  
LW- Hehe! I'm so glad that your withdrawls come from reading my story and missing it! What a compliment. And I'll see what I can do about the other story. I have an idea for a story somewhat similar to this one, except it revolves around songs and is what REALLY got my Jim and I to do fun games like this. I'm just not sure I can do it, so we'll see. But yeah, look for a story that picks up in between these...  
Favorite- thanks for all your support! I won't be doing novel formatting or Hannah emailing in this story, but maybe she can make appearances in another story I do that has the in between plotlines in novel format. Oh, and by the way, I know you love Life is A Rhythm, Love is A Dance Floor, so I wanted you to know there's a new chapter up!  
Leah- haha, yeah, don't worry, I can't make up a dog in a lake! That happened when I was babysitting a four year old and we were walking around the lake. Not going to lie, JAM's entire date is based on my date with a four year old... Haha.  
Doggy- Okay, that comment did go through! Shrug I don't know if they kissed. And I probably will never tell you. You'll just have to figure it out on your own.  
Nicolec- Thanks for your input! I love the specifics you give!  
Ruli- I have no idea how I come up with these ideas. I think my brain is so abnormal that I think about these things and want to tell someone, but they're kinda weird and I wouldn't have any friends if I did, so I make Pam and Jim do it.The teaser... Haha. Wow. It was kind of a mean one, wasnt it?  
Booky- I know, Jim is just awesome. Don't we all want a Jim? That will have to be the new urban dictionary word for "hot boyfriend whose really perfect in every way."

And alas, the sex, mockery, and something you all will love (or maybe hate).

**

* * *

To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pam Beesly  
Subject: Barry Bonds**

I was reading a magazine article yesterday about Synesthesia. Have you ever heard of it? It's so awesome. Okay, I'm going to be honest. I didn't read a magazine article. Hannah left one of her books at my house last weekend and I read it. It's called "A Mango Shaped Space." It's really good, and it makes me wish I had Synesthesia, which I'm sure you have no idea what it is, but it's awesome. It would come in so handy with my art!

**To: ****Pamela ****Be****e****sly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject****: I love Ethel**

Okay, well that's all good and well, but what is your fourth-grade reading book about? I can't really converse with you about it if you won't tell me what it's about.

PS. Don't drop your cell phone in Sprite. It stops working. Go figure.

**To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****From: ****Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Chester A. Arthur**

Oh! Sorry! Apparently a small percentage of the people in the world can experience two senses at one time… Like they can taste words or hear colors or something. I'm not really sure how to describe it. In the book, the little girl could hear numbers as colors, and it helped her when she added stuff because she could just remember colors… And some of her friends could taste words, so when they wrote papers, the bad sounding stuff literally tasted bad in their mouths It's kind of cool. Look it up online.

**To: ****Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cherry-flavored condoms**

Interesting… But how would that help you with your art?

**To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****From: ****Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Trains**

Think about it, Jim. If I could play music and hear colors, maybe I could paint more vibrantly and create a piece of art that really represents a song or a movie, or a feeling or something I say out loud… I could really get inside my inspiration and really capture it, rather than just trying to do so.

**To: ****Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Tapioca pudding**

But isn't part of the great thing about creating art the process of interpreting your inspiration on your own? If you could just hear and see the colors, you wouldn't really have that chance.

**To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****From: ****Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Retirement homes**

I guess that's true. When did you become this wise?

And why did you drop your phone in Sprite?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert**  
**Subject: The Enlightenment**

I took a Flinstones vitamin this morning. I hear it has a lot of B12 and C and intelligence inside it. Grape flavored.

I didn't mean to. I just happened to on accident. I was thirsty after we got off the phone last night so I went and got a Sprite and I accidentally dropped it in there… It's not a big deal. I just wanted you to know I'm unreachable by phone today.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Monopoly Life**

You're unreachable? Really? You don't have a home phone I could call?

Grape is the best flavor. And Flinstones is the best kind. Duh.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Bubba Gump**

I don't actually… I figure anyone important will call my cell phone.

You will not believe what I just saw.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Daffy Duck**

What did you see? Tell me!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****blankies**

Dwight, on fanfiction. net uploading the ninth chapter of his Battlestar Gallactica story. I'm not kidding.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Billy Bragg**

Oh my gosh. What is his penname? I really want to go read it!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Beets-o-****rama**

I have no idea. But the name of his story had something to do with keys to earth or something… I'm not really sure. But you're honestly going to read that stuff?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Wal-Mart**

What? You get addicted to it….

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cardigans**

Oh my gosh. My girlfriend reads fanfiction. Are you kidding?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: IT Guy**

It all happens so fast…

Some of it isn't written by thirteen year olds and is actually pretty steamy…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Oh really?**

Really now? So you read this before you pull out Freddie?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Go Cure Cancer**

ITS CARLOS!

Well, let's put it this way… You have to put a rating on your stories… I only read the ones that are rated M for "mature".

Now, can I have my question please?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Jack Daniels and a coke, hold the coke**

Okay, I guess that's not as bad…

Question 13: Tell me about your first time doin' the nasty.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Line dancing**

Oh wow, that won't be an awkward series of emails at all.

What do you want to know?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Grandma got ran over by a reindeer**

Who with? How old were you? Where was it? Was it good? Anything else you feel you should tell me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Retro toasters**

Wow. Let's see.

I was 17, it was after a party that I went to with Roy and Abby and Brian. Our friend Chris was hosting it and there was lots of beer and drugs… I only had a few drinks, Roy had more than a few and a few... other things, too. Unfortunately, I was too stupid to realize that I should have left earlier. Anyway, Roy got really frisky and we went upstairs and did it in some guest bedroom. And no, it wasn't particularly good. It hurt. He went too fast, and he couldn't stop because he was so drunk and horny he didn't know what he was doing. The walls were spinning, and I felt like I could throw up… Have you ever seen Derailed, with Jennifer Aniston? It was kind of like that, except I wasn't asking to be raped (nor was I). It was just that bad. And I ran home crying, I hated it so much.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Micro Remote Control Helicopter**

I'm sorry, that really stinks. I was hoping it was a good experience for you. If I would have been there, I would have kicked his ass so hard.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Uptight Christian bitch**

It's alright. Eventually I'll meet someone who will rock my world so much I'll forget all about Roy's inaptitude. ;)

And, what about yours? Or was mine not acceptable?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Darth Vader**

It was acceptable for the game. Definitely not acceptable in real life.

I was sixteen. It was with my high school girlfriend, Brittany. She was a senior at the time, and I was trying to impress her by being that cool sophomore. I thought if I could land her I could get any girl by just saying I'd done a senior. It was really quick, painless (for me, and her, she wasn't exactly a virgin) and there was no feeling or emotion attached to it. I was just too young to really understand what I was doing, I think. I don't remember much about it, it's kind of a blur. I don't even remember what she looked like. I guess it was good. It must have been if I kept coming back, but not near as good as it could be.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Dwight**

You said you didn't really understand what you were doing? What do you mean by that? And what do you mean, not as good as it could be?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From**** Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Twizzlers**

I mean that I think sex means more when you care about the other person and do it because you're in love with the person you're having sex with, as opposed to just doing it because you think you should or it might be fun or it's a way to pass the time. I think the more you care about the other person, the more it means to you and the better it is… When it becomes more than just an act.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Barrettes**

I agree with you on that one. I'm glad to know it means something to you other than just a quick lay.

I painted you a picture last night. Come by my desk and see it when you get a chance. It's the one with the purple-pink flower. I have to go to lunch with Kelly now. Sorry, I forgot to tell you… She cornered me and was asking me all of these questions about us and since we decided to keep it a secret, I didn't know what to tell her so I just agreed to go to lunch… Believe me, this pains me far worse than it pains you.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Davy Jones**

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! You better let me know how round 1 of Kill Pam went.

When is the gymnastics meet again?

**To: ****Jim ****Halpert  
****From: ****Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Sex to nieces, smooth**

Next weekend. And I already talked to Laura and we can stay at her house for the weekend. You can still come, right? You better! Those girls need you right now, Jimbles.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Absolutely, I do**

Yes, I'll be there. Have fun at lunch today.

Dwight was telling me about the dream he had wear a black bear chased him up and down the mountain side and through the forbidden forest into the chamber of secrets. He also claims Voldemort is not gay because he saw Voldemort kissing Professor Slughorn with his own eyes. I had to remind him that Slughorn is male. He then conceded.

PS. Is your underwear 100 percent cotton? Dwight's is!

* * *

Sorry for the teaser, wasn't as exciting as you thought, was it? But don't you all want to go over to the Battlestar Gallactica page and try and figure out which story was "Dwights"? Haha. 

In the next chapter... We got some scared, emotional Pam, some comforting Jim, and the question that every man dreads but every woman wonders... Dum Dum Dum... Oh, and a phrase we've all been waiting to hear... :)

PS. I hate that FF can't upload the percent sign, or let me write out a web address. GRR.

REVIEW!


	14. Lovers

Well, here you go! I hope you guys find this chapter realistic; I'm not sure what I'm thinking about it.

Replies to your reviews:

Katy- Everyone loved Dwight the dog! And yeah, I wasn't exactly going for pity party with Pam, but I can't imagine, if it was with Roy, her experience being any other way.  
Literati- Thanks! Here it is!  
Tuna- Haha, here's more Grey's references for you!  
Vicki- Here ya go!  
Shattered- Oh my gosh! I love A Mango Shaped Space as well. I'm so stoked someone else has read it, haha. I'll upload it right now, I think.. haha  
Eagle- Haha, I thought you'd like the FF mention. "Operation Thong has commenced."  
Nicolec- I'm still thinking about the other story idea! We'll see! Sex to neices, haha. That was my throwaway too!  
Elizabeth-No, I get what you're saying. And I haven't decided if I want them to have a fight or not? They do have a few heated discussions, but they get resolved quickly for the most part.  
Nutmeg- Agreed on the red vitamins, but purple is grape. Can you just imagine Dwight writing FF? Haha!  
Brown- Haha, well, I wrote a few chapters and you do find out a bit more about whether or not they HAVE kissed, but I'm not going to email the kiss out, haha.  
Ruli- I love how your first question is about Hannah's gymnastics meet! HAHAHA! Yes, it's this next chapter. And these emails take place over whatever course of time you want them to. In my mind, it's been at least a few weeks since they started, but no longer than 2 months. And shrug on the cell phone. She does have his email... And his address. She's not worried about it!

**

* * *

To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: French Onion Dip**

Jim, I see one problem with us being in a relationship. And it's a kind of huge problem.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject Storage boxes**

Uh oh…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Blondies**

Oh, Jim! I didn't mean it like that! It's not big enough for me to want out of our relationship. I'm just saying we have a problem.

And here it is.

Now that we're getting into the more personal questions of 21 Questions, I feel kind of weird asking you to tell me some of the stuff that, as my boyfriend, you should want to tell me anyway… Or at least think to tell me…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cleaning the bathroom**

So, you're saying that because I tell you because you asked, rather than because I wanted to, or even remembered to, it's not as special or you don't feel loved or accepted? I'm not really sure I got that right.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Marilyn Manson**

Not exactly. I guess what I'm saying is that part of being in a relationship is wanting to tell the other person your stuff… Not needing someone to ask before you share. That kind of thing… I just feel like we might be cheapening that a bit… Not that I don't trust you, but when we do this game, how am I supposed to know that you wanted to tell me rather than you just felt obligated to?

Am I making too much out of this?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lilacs**

Okay, I understand what you're saying. But remember, at the beginning of this game we both agreed to play, which means, at some level, we both agreed that by the end of the game, we might be sharing our deepest, darkest secrets. And we were okay with that. We both agreed. So it's not necessarily a force or an obligation to tell something, but it's a want to. And you know if I asked you a question that you just really didn't feel comfortable answering, I would back down.

As for wanting to tell you things… Maybe you don't do this, but sometimes, when I want to tell you something, I'll ask you the question I want to answer because I know that I'll have to answer it eventually.

And, I always want to tell you everything. Did you know that?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Fire truck puzzles**

Really? I had no idea.

I guess you're right. We did agree to tell each other everything, so it really shouldn't matter how it comes up… And I guess your idea of asking questions is right… I just feel weird because the question that pops into my mind as our fourteenth is one that I just really don't want to have to ask.. I'd rather you just tell me.

I just… I don't want to be that girlfriend. You know? The one that asks her boyfriend all of the deep, penetrating questions because he's closed and won't tell her anything… Or because she's paranoid and nervous, or I don't know…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cat costumes**

Do I have to come over there and knock you silly? Listen to me. I want to tell you my crap. Okay? I want you to know everything about me. If that freaks you out, I'm sorry, but I want you to know. And you don't have to be afraid of asking me questions. I'm not going to yell at you and go running to the nearest bar. Do you understand that?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Jolly Green Giants**

But… I just don't want to be that girlfriend… I want to be the one where the boyfriend wants to tell her stuff.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Anti-****perspirant**

Pam, I'm not Roy.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Expo markers**

Oh my god… Jim, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize he's where all that was coming from… I know you're not Roy... I just….

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Hootie**** and the**** Blowfish**

You have a really bad problem with going to the bathroom when you're embarrassed or sad. It's okay. You can't help how you feel or how he hurt you and changed you. I'm just going to have to work a little harder to make you feel loved and appreciated, that's all. And I don't mind doing that.

You said you don't want to have to ask the fourteenth question. Would you feel better if I just answered as many as I thought you might be wary of asking?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
F****rom: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Toilets**

There's just something calming about the flush of a toilet… I'm sorry. I'm so dark and twisty. I hope you can handle that.

Yeah…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****McDogs**

You are not Meredith Grey… I am, however, McDreamy. You're not too dark and twisty for me. You're going to have to try harder than that to scare me off, Bees.

As for your answers: I don't have any STDs. I've never gotten a girl pregnant. I've never attempted suicide or hurt myself in any way. I masturbate about 4-5 times a week (but maybe it'll go down soon)… Um, that's all I can really come up with right now. Did your question fit any of those?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Butterflies**

If you're McDreamy, I have to be Meredith. Who else can I be? (And how do you know all of this about Grey's. Is this guilty pleasure number 23231313?)

I'm glad you don't have any STDs. I'm glad you haven't gotten a girl pregnant or tried to hurt yourself. The masturbation stat is pretty interesting to me… Geez, Jim, why don't you find a girl that can take care of that.

None of those were my questions.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Chinese chicken go meow**

I know about Grey's from Kelly. Geez.

Does that particular stat hurt your feelings? You see, I'm at this dilemma, and the dilemma is that I have a girlfriend who could fulfill that particular need for me, but I don't want to rush her or make her feel like that's all I want from her because it's not. And I don't even really want to bring it up to her because I don't want her to feel pressured just because I brought it up. But, if she asked me to stop, I think I could do it.

Then what was your question?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Blue belts**

Oh, okay. A little less creepy now.

No, it didn't hurt my feelings. I was just playing with you. It would hurt my feelings if it was that high and we were having sex, though... And, I'm sorry about your dilemma. I'm sure your girlfriend really appreciates you not rushing her, though. It's a big step, and if she's anything like me, she has certain ideas about when she should have sex and with whom, so it takes her a little while to actually go at it… Not that she doesn't want to, it's just a big step for her and she doesn't want to take it lightly because when she does have sex, it means a lot to her… You're a gentleman, not wanting to pressure her like that.

And since you told me all of that about you, I feel like I should reply and tell you I don't have any STDs, I've never been pregnant either (though I did have one small scare), and my masturbation stat is almost as high as yours. I have a man that could take care of that for me, but we're not taking that step yet.

And to add to my dark and twisty-ness: As far as the hurting myself thing goes, once in sixth grade I seriously debated taking some pills, but I think it was just a hormonal rage type thing… The phone rang and jolted me out of it before I was actually going to do anything.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Wax fingers**

You don't have to explain your reasoning for not wanting to have sex, Pam. I'm okay waiting as long as you want to, and it won't affect our relationship if you don't want to do it until five days after we're married. I just want you to know that I do want you and desire you. And it means a lot to me too. But you're exceeding all expectations of girlfriend capabilities, so it's not taken me very long to get there.

I'm glad the phone rang. I'm not sure what I would do without you. You and your phones. Is this some kind of sick love affair you have going on? If so, I'm jealous.

Now, the question? It's making me nervous the way you're avoiding asking it.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Headphones**

Thank you, Jim. You really are just too amazing. And I'm glad the phone rang too. And shut up. You're not funny. Even if I am smiling like a school girl.

Okay, the question. Question Fourteen: How many partners have you had?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****T.S.**** Elliot**

Oh, that's the question?

Hold on, let me count them all.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Fargo**

Oh my gosh… Is that really your number? That's the third time you've counted to ten… Jim, that's scaring me, I'm not going to lie.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Semicolons**

Hey, settle down. I was just playing with you. Remember how I said I thought sex was special? Yeah, there aren't thirty women in my life that are special.

I count three. Brittany, my college girlfriend Andrea, and Katy.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Coach**

Three is better than thirty…

But… Katy?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Hanging by a moment**

Katy… Let's see… How do I explain this one? No, I didn't feel about her the way I should have to elicit sex. I just. This is hard to explain, and not exactly the way I wanted to.

Do you have any idea how long I've loved you?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Christmas presents**

I'm sorry, I just choked on my applesauce.

Did you just tell me you love me? Through an email? And did you say you have for a long time? How long?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Snow White**

I'm sorry… I didn't mean to tell you in an email. Was the phone call better? I promise, I'll tell you for real later. In person. To your face. When I get over how idiotic I was to tell you in an email.

And yeah, it's been for a long time. What can I say? I would say since the day I met you, but I think that would be a fabrication. I've definitely been interested in you that long, but it was about two years ago, I guess… And then when things started moving along with Roy, I couldn't stand it. Which is why I dated Katy. And then when Katy was ready to have sex, it just seemed like… I don't know, maybe the easiest way to get you off my mind and out of my head? I don't know.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: The Fray**

Jim, promise me that if you ever need to get me out of your head again, you won't go bang another girl. I don't think I can take it.

The phone call was better. Don't beat yourself up over it, honey.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Underneath the covers**

I promise I'll never go "bang another girl" to get you out of my head. I'm sorry that hurt your feelings. Believe me, it hurt me too.

You called me honey.

Now, how many partners have you had?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Oceans Twelve**

Wow, so you're the first person to know this. But, 2.

Roy and I broke up for like three weeks in college. Steven, in my Spanish class. I just wanted to have a taste of something different. DO NOT SAY IT.

Yes, I called you honey.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: That's what she said?**

Wow. You never told Roy, huh?

I like honey.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Whoopee Cushions**

Nope. I would have had the ass whooping of the century. Though I'm pretty sure he had sex.. I mean, it was three weeks, so that's 21 days… So probably 20 girls.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Gymnastics**

He just never knew what he had. You know that, right? You aren't stupid for loving him or wanting him to love you back. He's stupid for letting you slide through his fingers.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: 1-800-psychic**

I'm beginning to see that.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Wheat**

Want to know something? I'm really excited about our trip this weekend. It'll be nice to have a weekend with you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Vaca**

I'm excited too. Just remember to make a good playlist for us. We have a long drive… And you know you won't get all weekend with me. I'd like to get to know Laura and Caitlin too, you know? Seeing as I'm in a relationship with their uncle.

God, Jim, I don't know how we'll ever break up…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Scars**

We're not going to. I'm not going to leave you. I'm not Roy.

It's already done, the playlist. You can add to it if you want. Laura and Caitlin will love you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Alerts**

Just keep reminding me. Eventually, it'll get through my thick skull, and I'll be able to let go of those fears. Okay?

* * *

Well, here it is. I probably won't update tomorrow unless you guys blow me away with the reviews today. I'm up to question 18 in what I've written! Still no idea how I'm going to end it.

Teaser: Pam and Jim's deepest secrets... and what did Jim's sister and neice think of our beloved Pam? What did she think of them? Oh, more sex talk, too! And Jim gives Pam a term of endearment.


	15. Secrets

Wow, thanks for all the reviews, guys!!! I came home last night around 10 and was really planning on updating it, but for four hours straight I played with the most hyper four year old I've ever seen (and believe me, I've seen a lot) so I was pooped. But here you go, the moment I wake up, the next chapter. Kudos to whoever can tell me what the M stands for on Dwight's calendar.

here are your review replies:  
KitKat- Thanks for being honest! It certainly wasn't my favorite chapter either! This one is one of my tops, though.  
Elly- thanks so much for that huge compliment! There are so many amazing JAM writers I feel so lucky to even be a favorite!! Shattered Everythings. Woah, that one will make you go and cry in the shower, won't it?  
SmallTuna- Hahaha. You crack me up every time you review! And please, of course I have a JAM playlist. I actually have three. Not going to lie... One of them is entitled "To Pam from Jim" and it's the playlist from chapter 7 (i think?).  
Ruli- Wow! Glad you caught on to the question early! Did you think thier answers were appropriate.I love the random AIDS fact, haha. Oh, and the love you... Yeah, well, it was more meant to be Jim accidentally just let it slip and pressed send and she caught it... So afterwards he called her on the DM telephones and told her, which I'm sure was still dorkily cute...  
Nutmeg- Hehe im glad you loved it!  
Nicolec- Thanks! I love writing the subject lines, though sometimes I'm grasping at straws... But my favorite subject line in the whole story is the stanley sex one. I don't know if I can top that one!  
Leah- Gobble Gobble! was the subject of Angela Martin's last myspace blog entry! How funny! Oh, and thanks for the thought about Pam's head... I really try and understand her, and I really think I'm beginning to... She's a lot like me.  
Doggy- Yeah, I think that was kind of a telling thing about Pam... I can picture Jim's eyes going wide as he realizes she knew what he was like and still stayed with him... But I think Pam needed to say it. Tell Mom to bug off! Haha  
Unfolding- Thank you so much! Character development is probably the thing I strive for the most when reading/writing this kind of stuff, so I'm so glad you saw it!!!  
Katy- Wow! Nice long review! Thanks! haha you watch the toilet whirl and it makes you feel better? How old are you? 5? ;) Pam's insecurities are hard to miss, and I think it's something that the writers of the show are missing a bit with the Jim relationship. And my subjects... Oh man. They are fun to think of and giggle at. I have so much fun writing this story. And SE, you should go comment on it because people (or at least I am) most likely to read a story with more reviews :) And I just love that story. I feel like it is one of my best, if not my best story of all nine i've written. One thing I didn't see: WRITE MORE NOW! haha!  
Dancer- Aww, thanks!! Here's more (and a new alert for your inbox!)  
Eagle- Thank you Thank you. "It's too hard to fit oil and petronomichemical state on a license plate?"  
Literati- Thank you thank you!  
Elizabeth- Here's a peice of something to get through your weekend!! I'm glad you liked how I portrayed the JK relationship because I really honestly believe that was what Jim was doing... And I think it really would hurt Pam if she knew.  
PJ- Aww! Wow! You liked it so much you were willing to tell your friends you read Fan Fic!! Thanks! haha. Thanks so much!!  
Caty- Thanks so much! I'm trying to stay with their characters as much as I can!  
nolimits- WOW! Thanks so much for all your comments! You're so funny! If you sent an American Girl order to my work, I'd be in trouble because I work with three year old, eight year old, and ten year old girls!  
Claire- Fangasm! I love it!

**

* * *

**

**To: Pamela** **Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Tic-tac toe**

I really don't understand gymnastics at all. I know you enjoyed it, but really, all they do is do flips through the air and let their crotches fly out into the open. How do you let your kids do that? I just don't understand the appeal… I mean, Caitlin and Hannah were really cute and all, but still… Did you have fun getting to know Laura?

I know you won't get this email until Monday, and it's Sunday now, but I kind of have to write you one to keep my mind off of the fact that you're out with my sister and her children doing a "girls day out." Honestly, it scares me… I really hope Laura doesn't drive you away. And don't get me started on Caiti. She once ran away one of my girlfriends. I'm not kidding! I just hope she didn't do it to you…

But they don't know we're dating, so it's alright… right?

Well, I'm sure I'll tell you all of this tonight anyway (because I like telling you stuff) but all I've done today is eat scrambled eggs, type an email to you, watch City Slickers, and color in Hannah's coloring books.

I'm bored, here at home. Blah. And don't even say it. I know I chose to stay here. It sounded more appealing than going to Claire's and Payless and getting salad and teddy bears… It still is more appealing. I just like to complain because I miss my girls.

I saw on the bookshelf yesterday that Laura has the first three seasons of The Bachelor on DVD. I'm going to go watch it. Shut up.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Mary Kay tinted moisturizer**

Jim, be supportive of your nieces. Yes, maybe they were flipping through the air wearing tiny outfits, but they worked really hard, and it was cool to watch. And you better believe my children will be doing gymnastics. It's really good for them. They build a lot of strength and it's fun and they're taught how to eat healthy and do all of that stuff. It's good for them. And I hope you'll come to my girls' gymnastics meets when they have them.

Laura's sweet. You guys were so funny together. You must have had so much fun torturing your mother when you were little. I can just picture you guys purposely bringing in as much mud as you could after mom cleaned the kitchen. You know?

As for our girls day out… I made a pact with them that we wouldn't talk to you about the discussions/activities that went on. I'm sorry, but we did. But, just to put your mind at rest, I will tell you again (even though I told you nine times in the car) that it was perfectly fine. Laura and I chatted and laughed and can easily be friends, and Caitlin tried to scare me away, but she's not very good at it. And Hannah, of course, was just my little friend. And as far as them knowing we're dating, I might have let it slip… I did let it slip. But they're happy about it.

Your girls? How cute, Jim.

Now, before I castrate you more, let me change the subject. So, I was watching Sunday Night Football last night and I noticed the Colts were winning…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Marriage**

Ha. Ha. You know I don't watch Football. I watch baseball! Ask me about the Phillies!!!

I'm glad you liked my family. And shut up about me calling them my girls. They are. They're all girls. And you're one of them too. And my mom. And my old dog, Ginger. Shush. Dogs are people, too.

I can't believe you let it slip. You can't even last three weeks! It's been 15 days, and you're already telling my family! Get your own family to tell!

Blaaaaah. Why is it so boring today?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Turkey sandwiches**

Jim? Can you read? You said, and I quote, "Dogs are people, too." Are they? Are they really, Jim?

Oh shut up. You don't know how good girls are at sensing these things. And Caitlin came right out and asked me about it.

It's boring because SOMEBODY left our rubix cube at home. Jerk.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Courthouse**

Dogs are people. Exhibit A: Dwight Kurt Schrute. Apparently located at 1313 Eastside Street. AKA. The Pound.

She asked if we were dating? Really? Caitlin? I find that hard to believe.

Woah, woah, woah. First of all, "we" don't own a rubix cube. Jim owns a rubix cube. Jim left his rubix cube at home. There is no we in that.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Dangling participles**

Okay, I concede.

Yes, Caitlin asked. Well, she really asked if we kissed. Actually, she more stated it…. Yeah, she definitely stated it. We were talking about some movie she'd seen and she said, "When you and Uncle Jim kiss, do you kiss like THAT?!" Her mom scolded her, my face went red, and Hannah giggled.

Oh. I thought when you became a couple everything became a "we".

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Snowflakes**

You mean the way your all-you-can-eat pancakes became "ours" this morning? Yeah, let's talk about that, why don't we?

What did you tell her?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Rollodex**

Jim, that's completely different. A rubix cube is a rubix cube. All-you-can-eat pancakes are all-you-can-eat pancakes! You can't share those! Let me rephrase the statement, "everything the boy owns becomes an ours, while the girl's things remains strictly the girl's." Better? I think so! Now, hand me our University of Michigan sweater, please!

I told her we kiss more civilized.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Pictures**

Well, that hardly seems fair! No, "we" have to share all if I have to share all.

Oh god. She's not even supposed to know about that stuff yet! She's only ten…. Isn't Ariel still supposed to fall in love with Eric and hardly ever kiss? No….

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Swampstock**** River Festival**

Okay, Jim. My tampons are now officially "our" tampons. Which means we are out, and you need to run to the store and get some for us.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Damn**

I walked into that one. What kind of pampons do you need?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Jetplanes**

Regular. Playtex, please. Please pick up the extra big box. More bang for your buck. That's what she said.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Gross**

I was kidding. I'm not going to the store to buy tampons… Pam….

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Dishwasher safe**

Jim, WE need them. Now go. Man up.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Arithmetic**

The operative word there is MAN. M-a-n. As in, has a penis. As in, does not have an inverted penis, also known as a vagina. As in, has no use for tampons.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Men**

I need them soon, Jim. Please stop being so selfish.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Pouty face**

Okay, I ordered them off the internet.eBay, actually.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Doctors**

Aww, thanks for running out and getting some, Jim. (I know you can't buy them off the internet, retard). Also, just so you know. WE are not out. YOU are out. I have an entire pack at my house.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: I hate you.**

By the way, Dwight knows your ovulation. He has little red P's on his calendar at work.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Wrestling**

What? I thought the P's stand for paper?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sharpies**

Well, then what do K, MP, PL, and M stand for? In paper business?

**To: Jim ****Halpert**

**From: Pam ****Beesly**

**Subject: Toes**

Better question: If K is Kelly, PL is Phyllis… MP is Meredith, I'm assuming… Who is M? And where is Angela?

**To: Pam ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cookies**

I have no idea who M is… Michael, maybe? I hear he ovulates regularly… And maybe he hasn't figured out Angela's yet.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pam ****Beesly  
****Subject: Surveillance**

Right, he doesn't know his own girlfriend's time of the month. Even you know that.

**To: Pam ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: The Today Show**

I do?

Whose turn is it?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Brownies**

You haven't noticed I've been Pam with a side order of bitchy today? Or that I was out of tampons?

I think its yours.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: The Diner**

Correction: I was out of tampons. Not you. Not we. Not us. Not them. I. Me.

And no, I haven't noticed your extra order today.

Okay, question fifteen: What is your deepest, darkest secret?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Teddy bears**

Is that a red J I see on Dwight's calendar? Oh, I think it is…

My deepest, darkest secret? This is horrible Jim. Don't break up with me.

When I was a teenager, I did a lot of babysitting, especially for my next door neighbor's son. The father was never home and the mother went out with her friends a lot, so it was a lot of babysitting, but they were the type of parents that would let their kid stay home at night without a babysitter once he turned six or so… And I really wanted the money. I'm a bedroom snoop, and when he was asleep I'd go into their bedroom and go through their drawers. I found a packet of condoms… I put a pin through the middle of them and effectively assured myself another 5 years of babysitting…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Naughty list**

Oh my gosh, Beesly!!!! You are a little devil. I can't believe you did that. I am so impressed and scared and oh my… Speechless. So acceptable.

You better not ever do that to me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: American flags**

Oh please. I know you thought it was hilarious. Even Kelly could hear you laughing down the hall with her iPod speakers blasting the 13 Going on 30 soundtrack.

It would be stupid to do it to you. Since it would be a pin through my own condoms. Maybe… Probably.

Okay, your turn. Deepest, darkest secret.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Nakey ****Nakey****, eggs and ****bakey**

Oh, is that so? You really think the condoms in my nightstand drawer will be for you? Good to know. Also means you should go pick up some condoms because WE are out of them… Wait. That didn't work. Damn.

My deepest, darkest secret is that when I had sex with Katy, I always imagined you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Blue stars**

Well, I can guarantee you that you're not getting anything without a pack of tampons (Playtex, regular. It's a pink box. You spell regular r-e-g-u-l-a-r) and condoms at your house. So, I think that means YOU are out of supplies, not US.

And that secret is unacceptable. For one, I already knew it. Or, at least I hoped it.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: 27 cents**

I'll be making a run to CVS this evening after work, then. Regular, Playtex. Got it

I can't decide between these two:

I've always wanted to rob a bank.

When I was sixteen, I trashed my parents' house when they were out of town to make it look like I had a party while they were gone, just so my parents would think I had a lot of friends.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Nalgene**** bottles**

You are so ready for me to be ready. It's quite endearing.

Oh, Jim. That's a sad secret. The second one, I mean… Did you really not have any friends in high school?

I've always wanted to rob a bank too. Shh. I think everyone has that fantasy.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Brown sugar**

I'm sorry… Am I pressuring you? I don't mean to be. I just want you, and you're the only person I talk to about that kind of stuff… It seems weird not to.

We can rob one together! Except not. We can wish we did together, though.

I didn't have very many. I was really geeky. You've seen my picture. I ran track and was a big nerd. The only thing cool about me was that I dated one of the coolest girls in school… But then again, a lot of guys dated her. It was okay. I had a few friends, just not a lot. And no good ones.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: October**

You're okay, honey. I know you're not trying to get in my pants before I'm ready.

If you ever need help trashing your house, for any reason, call me. I'll help you.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lightning**

Thanks, baby.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Pop tarts**

Yay! I'm baby!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Kelly**

Shush.

Your momma's so big she could eat the internet, baby.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Fingers**

Well, your momma's so big Dora can't even explore her, honey.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Faith Hill**

Your momma's so fat when she went outside she got stuck, baby.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Power outlets**

Your momma's so fat when she put on Guess jeans, the answer popped out, honey.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sprinkles**

Your momma is so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper, baby.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Lemonade**

That was really a lame one, honey.

I was planning on making some pasta tonight if you want to come over after your CVS run. Maybe we can watch a movie or something? I don't know. I'm a bad date-planner.

I've been listening to the CD you made me nonstop.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Page 10**

Yeah, see you later.

PS. Your momma is so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.

Okay, that was lame too.

* * *

Let me know what you think! For those of you who think Pam's secret may be a little off (I could totally buy Jim's though) let's just say I'm a big Post Secret fan, and that's my favorite secret of all time! And Pam's pretty devious! Haha.

Also, I don't know how many of you heard this, but NBC has picked up a Celebrity Apprentice to air at 9 PM starting in January. It's an hour long and will take the place of The Office and Scrubs. I'm not thinking this is good news as far as strike negotiations go, but we'll see.

Also, for those of you who get to read this on Black Friday, Target is selling The Office S1/S2 for dirt cheap! 9.99 and 13.99 I think, today only! That means you can get them both for like 25 bucks. NOT BAD at all!

And... Go read Shattered Everythings and/or Diary of A Broken Heart if you like Pam. She's the central character in both of them. :)

And... Review! Because I love it when you do because you guys give really quality reviews!!! I've gotten to the point where I can hide your pennames and read just your review and pick out who said it! Haha!


	16. Heartbreaks

A lot of interesting developments in this chapter! A lot of new Hannah based off my real-life Hannah story, some more developments in the Jim-Pam relationship, a look back into Jim's past and why he understands Pam as well as he does. Here we go!

Lauren- That's the rumor. I'm not sure if it will still be there if the strike ends or not. It may just be a bargaining chip. But it's definitely out in the news. :(  
Caty- He's so funny because he's so eager to just do it and yet he really doesn't want her to know that because he doesn't want to pressure her, and yet he can't help making those little comments. He just makes me laugh. :)  
Eagle- Which one was hillarious? Haha. Throwing a party so your parents think you have friends is sad, in my opinion? lol. I think Pam's is hillarious. "Dali Llama, Dali Llama, Dali Llama."  
Ashley- Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!!!  
Elly-Yeah, they're all from Post Secret, lol. I'm a nanny, so Pam's secret really made me laugh a lot. Haha.  
KitKat-Yep! M is for monkey! Haha. I think they're creepily cute, though... And with Angela Kinsey being pregnant, I'm not quite sure you'll get your Andgely back.  
Dancer- Haha, my favorite yo mama joke is dora cant even explore her. What up?  
Preppy- Thanks so much:)  
Maddi- Yes it does!! Good job. Karen is probably in Stamford where she belongs, never met Jimbles. It's sometime S2, but Pam broke up with Roy already and Jim hasn't confessed his love or moved. So it's AU.  
VW- Wow! How awesome would it be if NBC actually did that! OR made dwight a dog? OR had Dwight right fan fiction! haha.  
JunkieCharklers- No cookie. What if I want one? No cookie... Except you get one because it is monkey!  
Katy- Haha, I like the Dora one best too. I think Pam EASILY won at the yo mama joke game.. Yeah, Pam's secret.. Easily identified with that one, as a nanny. I mean honestly, what mother doesn't want MORE children? they're a handful as is! Yeah, their relationship is based off a relationship i have with my coworker, so that's how I judge their relationship. :)  
Small Tuna- Yeah, it really is scary! I knew they had them too, but CC is not a place I go regularly, haha. You don't think your husband would go buy you tampons if he KNEW he was getting awesome sex that night? It reminds me of Jenna Fischer's little article, "If you , you will get laid." Haha. Love it.  
PJ- Yes, I love how the tampons are Jim and Pam's, not just Pam's. lol. Yeah, you could have saved money, but honestly, its so much better to watch them!  
Shattered- Try target today! They may still have it, I dont know! Oh yeah, I would love to see Jim try and pick out which ones are reg. playtex. Haha.  
Dejah-Yep Yep! Good job!! (I love Jim's attempt at a good joke at the end. It's one of my favorite parts of the yo mama thing)  
Ruli- Really? I totally think deepest darkest secret is more personal than how many lovers. Think about what hte possibilities are? I think it was just that their answers weren't as personal, not necessarily the question. I mean, Jim could have said "I used to be a girl" and that's probably a bit more personal than "I've slept with three women." But yeah. You loved a lot about this ep!! Hehe.

**

* * *

To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: oh my god.**

Jim, I'm so sorry.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Goodnight, and ****Goodluck**

I just… I can't believe it.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: The Spotted Pig**

I know, sweetie… I really am sorry.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Secret for Women**

I just can't believe it. I mean, honestly. What an ass! I would never, ever do that to you!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Fried Wontons**

I know you wouldn't date 25 girls at once, get down to me and one other girl, send the other girl home, and then send me home too. I understand you're not a jerk. Don't worry.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Certificates**

I just feel like I've wasted all of my time.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Double Dog Dare**

Jim, it's Reality TV. It's The Bachelor, honey. It's not real… Even if it is Reality TV, it's not real. Okay?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Strings**

I know… It's just that now I have no closure.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Dinosaurs**

Okay, pretty boy, snap out of it.

I'll make it up to you tonight. I want you to show up at my house at 7 pm. Dressed as nicely as you can manage (I know, it's hard for you. Hehe). And for the rest of the day, I don't want to hear anything more about how much you hate Brad Womack.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Tuxedos**

Wow, sounds like you have something planned, Beesly. Stepping up and being a man in the relationship?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Judy ****Blume**

Well, somebody has to be.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Speakers**

Ouch!

Tell me a funny story.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: USB cords**

Well, last night around midnight I had this huge hankering for chocolate milk. So I went into my pantry, and there was an unopened box of cocoa mix. So I tried to peel back the little paperish cover thing… You know what I'm talking about? But it wouldn't budge! So I decided to try and punch a hole through the top, and when I did, all of the cocoa mix exploded all over me. I was covered in it, everywhere. And my floor is a mess, which really stinks because my sister is coming into town this weekend and I'd just cleaned it yesterday!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Purple People Eaters**

I was wondering why you looked tanner all of a sudden.

And your sister? Really? When were you planning on telling me this?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Cocoa**

Oh shut up…

My sister, yes. And I did tell you. Why are you acting like I didn't? Does that ruin your big plans for the weekend or something?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Chill mat**

Well, I was just kind of hoping to spend some time with you this weekend.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Balooga**

You are such a baby. You can still spend time with me. Just because Diana's here doesn't mean you have to go AWOL on me. You're going to have to meet her eventually, you know?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Who is The Mole?**

I know that. I'm sure she's amazing. So amazing, maybe I'll leave you for her?

Are you ready for question sixteen?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: France**

I can't believe you just said that.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Emily ****Giffin**

What? I was just kidding.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Post Secret**

Well, don't kid about that kind of stuff. You know I'm insecure about it.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Floral dresses**

I'm sorry, Pam. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You're the only Beesly for me. And definitely the only girl for me…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Center stage**

… Men on the other hand, are a different ball game?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****IMs**

Shut it, Beesly.

Question sixteen: What was your biggest heartbreak? Who did it, why did it break, and how did you get over it?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Blue ****scrunchie**

You're just fishing for compliments, aren't you Halpert?

No, I'm kidding.

Obviously, my biggest heartbreak was Roy. I'm not sure how to really describe it, but I'll try. I guess it wasn't really Roy that broke my heart, so much as the idea of Roy. I mean, I dated him for ten years. That's a really, really long time. And from the time I was seventeen until twenty-seven, which are pretty important years. You're supposed to grow up a lot during those years, I think, and I'm not sure if I really had the chance to because I was always being the Pam Roy wanted me to be, not the Pam I wanted to be. And I had all of these naïve ideas about love, and this notion that love meant sacrificing for the other person—which is true, but only if you don't give up who you are in the process. And so I heard all of these stories about high school sweethearts who get married and have kids and grow old together and are happy, like Allie and Noah in The Notebook or something. And I started thinking that was Roy. That he would be the husband who would propose after an allotted amount of time, we'd get married quickly because we were so in love, have babies together, grow old together. He'd come home every night early because he couldn't stand to be away from me, and before he went to work we'd make love and stare into each other's eyes… And I realize that every bit of that is completely naïve and childish, but I didn't at the time. So when the fogginess of being in love started to fade away and I started seeing him as he really was, it was hard for me because he wasn't that person I thought he was. He had all of these flaws, and he never intended to be that Prince Charming that I wanted. And I had invested years in the relationship by that time, too many, I thought, to just let it go. And I'm stubborn, so that was an added bonus… And so, I stayed with him, hoping maybe I could learn to love him the way he is and learn to love his flaws too. But I didn't. They just glared me in the face and the things I was so attracted to at the beginning—his manliness, his gruff voice, his outgoing spirit—they all seemed so repulsive by the end that I just couldn't do it. So I guess, all that to say that my heart was broken because I had this horrible idea and image of what love and marriage is, and then when Roy didn't fit that, it broke my heart? Does that make sense?

I got all deep on you there. And yet, I haven't completely answered the question.

It broke because I was expecting something that wasn't there… And it's not healed yet, I'll be honest. It's still wide open and hurting, but it gets better every day. I've learned to look at people, for the most part, and see the beauty that rests inside of their flaws, not the flaws within their beauty. And that's important, I think. And I've learned to trust myself, and to let go of the childish fantasies of what love could be and let real life take them and destroy them. Love isn't anything worthwhile if there's nothing to work through. My mother always tells me that the reason for every fight, argument and disagreement is to grow a little. I'm learning to appreciate that kind of thing. And you're helping. By being as perfectly flawed as you are. I've been able to see your flaws through the course of our friendship, and now relationship, and I think it's helped me to see a more rounded picture of what love and marriage should be and could be. I don't know. You've helped, but mostly it's just me redefining what I believe and what my expectations are.

If that's not acceptable, I don't know what else is.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lassie Come Home**

Wow, Beesly. Interesting thoughts. Are you becoming a philosopher on me?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Angela**

What do you mean? Are you making fun of me for answering honestly? That's how I really feel, Jim.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Tofu ****Stirfry**

Damn the internet and it's lack of facial cues. No, I wasn't making fun of you. I was simply stating that your response was really deep and thoughtful, and I liked it. It gives me a lot to think about.

I would never make fun of you for telling me what's on your mind.

I guess you want my answer now, huh?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****TCBY**

I'm sorry, I guess I just assumed you were making fun or not taking me seriously. 10 years of habits are hard to break. I'm so broken and weird with you. I'm sorry… Please don't think that because I take things the wrong way I'm thinking you're anything like Roy, okay? Please don't… Roy's absolute best days are nothing compared to your worst days. Okay?

I want to hear your answer, yes.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: AUX connectors**

So, you want TCBY huh? I'll take you out for some tonight.

I understand that.

Okay, my worst heartbreak. Kind of embarrassing, and to be honest, nobody else knows this full story, so you're kind of my secret-keeper. Hope you're up to the challenge.

In college, I dated this girl named Andrea. I mentioned her in our sex discussion. She was beautiful and was in one of my business classes my junior year. We started talking about economics and eventually found ourselves out on dates. We dated for a good year or so, right up until the last semester of senior year. We had gotten really serious—the kind of serious that leads to I love you's and talks of marriage and sex and that kind of thing. Well, it was April and since we were finishing college we were both trying to decide what we wanted to do with our lives and whether we fit in with each other and everything. We had this series of really long talks about getting married and kids and family and values, and it seemed like we were on the same page. So I went out and I bought a ring and I orchestrated this whole proposal for her. We went on one of the trains in Pennsylvania and took a tour through the woods, and then when we got out at the Poconos, I got down on my knee and proposed to her. And she just stared at me. It was the scariest moment of my life, and I knew right when I finished speaking that her answer was going to be no, even though she'd told me differently night after night after night for the past few months. And she just stared at me. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes had a few tears in them, but not the kind of tears you should have when you break someone else's heart. And she told me she'd got accepted to law school in Stanford and she'd told them she would go. I told her that wasn't a problem; I could go with her; we could make it work, but she wouldn't have it. I asked her why, and she told me she'd never really loved me, she just felt like it was the right thing to say. She'd said it first because she felt like I wanted to hear it, not because she really felt it. And she didn't see us together and basically it all boiled down to our whole relationship being a lie.

And that's when I came to Dunder Mifflin. My heart broken because I'd just been in a year long relationship with a girl I was in love with, wanted to raise a family with and grow old with, who had just straight up lied to me to protect herself and she'd told me what she thought I wanted to hear, not what she was really feeling. And I hope you never have to go through that, Pam, because it sucks. It's one of the worst hurts in the world. So, my heart broke and I moved to a midsize regional paper company, and… How did I get over it?

I guess at first I was really angry and unwilling to accept anything having to do with the female species. I mean, you remember my first few months here. I was cruel and ugly to you, and I'm really sorry for that. But you kept reaching out to me and trying to be my friend, and eventually, I guess you taught me that not all women are bitches who are just out to rip your heart apart. And we became friends, and honestly, I think you've really helped me heal and trust other people.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Blue**

Oh, Jim… I'm so sorry. That really sounds like it sucks. I know that's probably an insensitive thing to say, but that's all I can really think of.

Is that why you're so worried about pressuring me into stuff? I would never, ever do that to you. I think it is completely and utterly wrong to tell someone you love them, or you want to marry them and grow old with them, unless you absolutely are positive you do. And that's why it's such a big deal to me to say I love you, or to have sex because it is a promise. Contrary to popular belief. In my eyes, it is. And even though there might be feelings of love or desire, I'm not going to tell you about them or act on them until I'm positive that they are more than feelings and more than just a random "oh, he did the dishwasher. I love that man" type of mentality that certain fashonistas named Kelly might have.

I'll always be your friend.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: M&M Cookies**

Thanks, Pam. I would rather you just be honest about your feelings anyway. I don't mind hearing you're not in love with me, as long as it's the truth.

Question: Laura just emailed me and said you talked to Hannah last night? Will you tell me what's up?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: #5 pens**

I really don't want to breach Hannah's confidence, but… Hannah called me last night around 7:30 and when I answered, she told me it was Hannah (which I knew) but then she didn't say anything more, she just sat there, sniffling. I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn't say a word or talk to me at all, so finally I raised my voice at her and said, "Are you just going to shut me out?" And without skipping a beat she asked what that meant and I asked her if she was going to not talk to me. And she was silent for thirty seconds or so and then she just started talking and didn't stop.

Basically, it all boils down to this: She doesn't know why she's so upset. She doesn't know what starts it; she just knows it starts when she's thinking about her dad, and the only way she knows to stop it is to call her mom and just whine and try and hug on her all the time. She feels awkward bringing up how she feels, and she doesn't want to bring it up to Caitlin or her mom because she's afraid it might make them sad. We talked about what she could do to feel better, and she said she's tried screaming into pillows and crying in the shower, so I suggested that she either sketch or write when she's upset because that's what helps me. She also told me that yesterday the guidance counselor she normally talks to wasn't at school, and she tried to find Caitlin, but Caitlin was already outside playing, so she had nobody to talk to.

I asked her if she's told her mom anything about how she's feeling, and she told me she hadn't. I asked her why not and she just got silent and said she didn't really know. I told her if she ever needed to talk but didn't want to talk to her mom that she should call me, that I don't care what time she calls or anything. She said okay and then she went to bed.

I called Laura this morning and filled her in on a bit—as much as I could without betraying Hannah. I don't want her mom to worry, and I want to tell Laura what's going on, but at the same time, if I'm the only one Hannah's talking to besides the counselor, I want to keep that door open. So, shh.

Does that make you feel better?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Science**

Yeah it does, thanks… We've all been so worried about her, as you know… I'm glad she has you to talk to, and if she happens to call again when you're with me, please, please, please take the call and leave me to my own devices.

Laura seemed to really like you. She emailed me and just couldn't stop talking about how impressed she was by you. You won't believe what she asked me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Text Sex**

She likes me? Good, I'm so glad. I really like her too. Sometimes when I talk to her, I feel more comfortable than I do with my own sisters. I know, it's crazy. We just get along well. I really do love your family. Or at least, the part of your family that I've met.

What did she say, honey?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Smiles**

She adores you. She seriously rambled on for a really long time. Here, I'll give you a little excerpt from her email. Including the question she asked me:

_Jim, I'm seriously really impressed with your girlfriend. She is leagues above any of the other girls you've dated, and honestly, she's leagues above you too! She's so much fun to be around, and I love that Hannah just adores her and will talk to her about things. Granted, I wish she'd talk to me and open up to me, but at least she's talking to someone. It's hard to explain it, but I've only known Pam for a few weeks and already I trust her completely with my girls. If you let her get away, you're an idiot. You know that, right? Seriously, will you just marry the girl and make her stick around?_

High praise from Laura. And Laura's not the type to give high praise.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Mixed berry**

I just choked on my pineapple. That was beautiful what she wrote about me, but there is no way I'm leagues above her little brother.

So the question was if we were going to get married soon? Wow. I would expect that from Hannah or Caitlin, but from your sister? No way. What was your answer, anyway?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Chinese characters**

Well, thanks. But I tend to agree with her.

I told her that you weren't an axe murderer or a rapist or anything else glaringly bad, so there was always that possibility. And I told her I like you better than the other girls too.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Ring!**** Ring**

Well, that's sweet.

I just got an email saying Dwight updated his fan fiction story. Did I tell you I found it?!? Guess what his username is?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Hair**

PamBeeslyisHot? Oh wait, that's mine.

What's his? Tell me, tell me, tell me.

And are you seriously on his alert list?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: 77**

Yes I'm on his alert list. And I love your penname, but I can't find it anywhere!

His penname is AssistantRegionalManager. I am NOT kidding.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sleep**

TO THE!! TO THE!!

Talk about bringing your work home with you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Moon**

Like you can talk, you try and bring part of your work home with you every day. Doesn't mean I always oblige, though. ;)

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Fishing**

I've got you hook, line, and sinker, Beesly. Will you oblige tonight?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subejct****: Fishing**

Only if we don't talk fishing, we eat Asian food, and you promise me a kiss goodnight.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lips**

That was unnecessary. That was obviously the plan of action.

* * *

Well, here we go!!! I think one interesting development in this chapter was Jim's second question... Notice, they've started asking more personal questions (and answering them!) without officially making them part of the game. Communiction is being strengthened, people!

Teaser: Jim/Pam fight (it has to be done), They both say what they want, Pam gets sick :(... And that's that teaser.

I'm currently writing chapter 19! Holy smokes!


	17. Desires

I'm way behind on this, but... Disclaimer: I don't own The Office, but if I did, I'd be paying the writers and actors and everyone involved a hell of a lot more money.

SmallTuna- I don't have to tease! I just noticed most people like it when I do so. And so you know, this chapter was written before your review, so I promise I didn't take yours into consideration here haha. I'm sorry you can't get the sex ploy to work with tampons, that stinks. And Jim is so adorkable.  
Browndoggy- Yeah, I saw when you reviewed. I was so bummed, haha. Thanks for the compliment on my writing--it means a lot!! Hehe. Fight! Fight! Fight!  
Lauren Warren- well, when I originally wrote the question out for this story, I had thought it was S4ish... But when I started writing it it wasnt, so that question was left over from the early days and was going to be the turnaround question, but I just thought it was an important one to keep. but yeah, woulda been his biggest heartbreak for sure.  
Eagle-Thanks so much! I check this story 5 times a day too! Haha. "Holy Sh--.. I forgot to pray before I had a bite of my bagel and schmear".  
Vwalters- Hmm.. What were you haha'ing at? haha.  
Katrina-Well, in this story Casino Night hasn't happened, so there's been no time for Pam to break Jim's heart, which is why I had to make someone else up. Thanks for your comment though, and I'm so glad you reviewed!! DOABH was just updated today, and I have another chapter written for a bit later, too!  
Maddikinz- Mmm I'm not going to answer that question. But I am leaning one way very, very strongly. You'll just have to see. :)  
Nicole- I was kind of upset about The Bachelor... And I'm not a girly-girl reality TV type of a person, so... Jim was based on me this time. haha.  
Preppy- Oh no... well what do you suggest for chapter 22? haha  
FindingDisco- To you as well! And thanks!!! I'm glad you recognized PS secrets! It's Sunday, so the new ones are up! Woohoo! I go to Borders and read PS all the time, don't feel bad. Just put in one of your own secrets :)  
BigTuna- Thanks so much! I like when Pam goes deep too, but I wasn't sure if anyone else did. I have a few chapters written (I'm on 20. Teardrop) and I think she goes deep a few more times, but at least one more :)  
Nolimits- Wow! I'm really thankful you said that about his heartbreak because I was so unsure of that when I wrote it! And nobody has that penname... Yet...  
Dancer- Haha. Well, we'll see. I'm all about using your imagination, though.  
Katy- I'm glad you liked the deep too! I was unsure about it! And I like how you say its the artist side of her... Cause it is. And me too. :) And yes, everyone loves the alert setting... even our favorite fictional character Pam! (Today we were playing Scattergories, the category was fictional characters, the letter was P, I put Pam)  
PJHarvey- Thanks so much! I really appreciate it! And I love Dwight in this fic. He's written himself and it just makes me happy! Here's more for you!  
Ruli- that line is an AG original!! I'm so glad it's your motto, haha! I loved it too! I love all the interactions between the characters because like you, I see them getting stronger in their relationships each chapter. And as for The Bachelor, heck yes. Brad Womack is a freaking idiot. I was a DeAnna fan all the way! I didnt do any follow up on Pam's sister.. Maybe sometime later I will.

**

* * *

**

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Underwear**

Hi?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Fluffy Pillows**

Hey.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Cookies**

Um… how are you?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Teeth**

I'm fine, how are you?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Mystery at Hogwarts game**

I'm sorry.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Words**

Yeah, let's talk about what happened… Where were you last night? I cooked dinner for us and cleaned my apartment for you. At first, I was sure you were just running late. Then maybe I thought I missed your call saying you couldn't make it… Then I thought maybe you were out with your other boyfriend. Then I was really worried about you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Tennis shoes**

I know. I should have called… And I'm not trying to make excuses, but I did think your phone was still Spriting up… And I know I'm dumb and horrible, and I'm really sorry, but don't you dare accuse me of having another boyfriend. Even if it's playful. That's just WRONG, Jim. I would never in a million years do that to you.

Do you really want to know what happened? Are you done with the little anger bout you're in?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Mosaics**

Pam, I don't know what to say. It really hurt my feelings when you didn't show up last night, not to mention all of the worry you caused me. When your girlfriend goes missing for the night and doesn't call or anything saying she has plans, you wouldn't believe the thoughts that go through your head. I was a wreck, Pam. If anything ever happened to you…

And I know you're not cheating on me. It was just a joke. Why are you taking it so seriously?

And it's NOT an anger "bout". I want to know where you were. And I need you to know that you can't do that to me again because it honestly scares the crap out of me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Color fill**

I didn't realize you worried about me, Jim. I'm really sorry. Next time, I promise I'll call. It just didn't occur to me at 11:15 to call you. Not that you're HIM, but he never cared… It didn't even cross my mind that someone else might. And I'm sorry I took it so personal about the cheating question… I thought it was a real question, and even if it wasn't, Roy always accused me of cheating on him (with you, matter of fact), and I always felt like he might be cheating on me… So it's just kind of raw.

It's embarrassing, really. I was taking a bath to get ready for our date. I was really excited, Jim. So excited I even bathed! Anyway, I was in there, and the lavender smells were making me sleepy… And I was up most of the night last night worrying about your adorable niece, so I was already tired. And I woke up at 11:15 last night.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Golden Brown**

So, you expect me to believe that you fell asleep in the bathtub and that's why you stood me up for your date?

I will always care about where you are, what you're doing, and how you feel, Pam. I have for so long I don't know how NOT to. It broke my heart when you talked about how Roy didn't listen to you when you were together. And by the way, I know you well enough to know you wouldn't cheat on me, or anybody. You're not that kind of girl. And you don't have to worry about me. I've been a one-woman man for as long as I can remember, and since I've met you, nobody else has even held half an interest.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Stomach**

I do expect you to believe me. And laugh at me. And I still am really, really sorry.

Next question: What is your biggest desire?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Toothpaste**

It's okay, Pam. I forgive you. We'll just have to have a date tonight… At your house, just in case you fall asleep in the bathtub. I can wake you up. Modestly, of course.

My biggest desire? Is that supposed to be sexually or what?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: 12K runs**

A date at my house tonight? Okay, but it's a bit messy…

Any way, really… Just, whatever you want most in the world.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Coffee mugs**

I don't care about clean if you don't care about clean.

Okay, here we go with the castrating of me again.

I want a family. I know I'm young and hip now, but sometime soon, I want a family. I'm not saying I want to go out and find a wife today and then get her pregnant tomorrow and have four kids in four years… But, I guess sometime in the next few years I'd like to get married, in the next ten years I'd like to have a few kids. 2 or 3, maybe. Live in a nice house, help Luke find his tennis shoes and Leia find her barrettes. Kiss their mother every morning when she wakes up and right before she falls asleep. That kind of thing.

That's apart from wanting you, of course.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Yahoo!**

Wait, are you saying you want all of that apart from me? As in, you don't want it with me? Because if that's the case and you're thinking like that, we need to duck out of this thing now. I refuse to get my heart broken again, mister.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Coffee**

No! No! No! I'm sorry, that's not how I meant that AT ALL. I never want to break your heart.

I meant, that I want all of that… But at the same time, I still want you. You know? Sex? The sex just isn't my number one desire.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: 6:52 AM**

Oh. I really did think you meant you wanted all of the marriage and happy endings stuff, but not with me. Not that at this point in our relationship you should be ready to propose and whisk me off into the sunset, but I would like to think if you're dating me and things are going as well as they are (they're going well, right?) then you would still be entertaining the thought that I might be the one you want to fall in love with and marry and have kids. Otherwise, it's just a waste of time.

Oh, sex.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Illinois**

Things are going very well, with us. And don't you worry about me entertaining the thought of us getting married and having children. Who else would let me name her children Luke and Leia?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Shelby Woo**

I don't know... But I'm kind of partial to Allie and Noah.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Star Wars**

What about Scully and Mulder?

**To: Jim ****Haleprt  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Call them Dana and Fox?**

What about Admiral William Adama and President Laura Roslin?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Invisibility**

Who are they?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Meg Ryan**

I imdb'd Battlestar Gallactica, and they're who came up.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Flubber**

You are too cute.

Your turn to answer your own question.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Lavendar**

I really want a mountain bike.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Gears**

That's your number one desire? You would die happy if you had a mountain bike?

In that case, what color?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Capital One-No Hassle!**

A red mountain bike.

No, I wouldn't. It's not my number one desire, it's my number two.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Binky**

Well, what is your number one desire?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Team Jim**

Sorry, I know you've been sitting on hinges for three days. I came down with the flu. Which you knew about, of course. You've been so sweet, bringing me chicken noodle soup and your DVD sets of The Bachelor. And, I think my favorite little boyfriend thing you did was print out the newest chapters of Dwight's story. You're just too good to me. Thanks for staying with me and making sure I was okay. You'll probably come down with the sickness soon, unfortunately.

My number one desire is to fall in love with my best friend and make all of his dreams come true.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cough ****Cough**

You look a lot better today. Not that you looked anything other than stunning before, but I'm glad to see your sparkles and colors back today.

Do you think that desire is attainable?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Green buckets**

Oh, I absolutely do. It gets more and more attainable every day.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Crazy Eights**

I imagine your best friend is pretty excited about that.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Telephones**

I sure hope so. I'm not sure I could just let go right now. I'm a little too involved.

Tonight. You. Me. Real date? Since I've ruined all of our other attempts.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: AIM**

You could never ruin a date, silly. And yes, we'll go out tonight.

I have some twizzlers at my desk if you want some. The peel n pull ones.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Herbal Essences commercials**

Twizzlers! The candy that's a pamgasm in your mouth!

* * *

So its not really a fight as much as a disagreement, I guess... There IS a real fight in later chapters. And I would say it's been about 2 and a half months since they started emailing at this point. So you have some idea. But, believe what you want. 

I'm writing Chapter 20! It's so scary!

Teaser: Do any of you know how much Shonda Rimes loves symmetry? Well, so do I. Be prepared for that. Mo' Hannah. Mo' Jam. And some talk of meeting the parents. What up?


	18. Chicago

So... Here's chapter 18. Hard to believe it, huh? It's been quite the journey thus far. I am currently sitting at having written Chapter 20. Writing Chapter 21 presently. Okay, not so much. Let's be honest: My school work has been neglected. I'm not doing horribly, but with finals coming up, I really need to start studying at least somewhat. I want to keep my As if I can help it :) So, these next few days, I may not be writing. I might still update if I get an OVERWHELMING amount of reviews (my highest number for this story was 24 for one chapter. If you beat that with this chapter, I PROMISE you I will update the following day. And write a new chapter). But, for right now, I'm taking a small break from writing (a day or three, not that bad) to get back to where I need to be academically. And yes, it will pain me as much as it pains you. But I swear, I will not abandon this story. So, that being said.

Here are your replies:

Browndoggy- Yeah THAT disagreement isn't bad. There's a really bad one in the next chapter though (I think). They're just too cute.  
KitKat- We'll see. I'm not sure where the last chapter is taking us :)  
Allison- Thanks!  
Claire- Even Luke and Leia? Other than the obvious SW reference, they are pretty cute names? And at first, I didn't even get the reference (they aren't original names, they're from a TV show, haha)  
Nut- Oh yeah they're awesome! The third person thing is so cute. I love it. Jim entering a love triangle with Pam and "his girlfriend" hahaha. Mystery at Hogwarts is the first HP board game to be released. I was looking around my room for subject headings and saw it. Haha  
Ashley- They will eventually, I'll tell you that much. There is a method to my madness! And I don't think it's a perverted/twisted question, either.  
Eagle- I love the names too! I want a Luke and Leia and I hate star wars... and um... "I'm sorry, I was distracted by that half masticated cow rolling around in your wide open trap."  
Literati- Oh! What a compliment! Thanks!!!  
Maddikinz- Neah, not too much Dwangela. I love Dwangela but I still haven't gotten to the point where I completely understand their relationship, so I don't want to write about them in one until I get why they click/work.  
Disco- Ch. 20 is done now. I'm on 21. It's the longest one yet, and I think we will like it. Chocolate Twizzlers sound gross. I can barely handle the red ones. Pull n Peel though.. Honestly, make my house out of them please  
PeterPetrelli- Ooh! I'm so glad! But I've seen your penname on another one of my stories? Do you know which one? Maybe Diary of A Broken Heart? I don't know, anyway, thanks so much for your review! Means a lot!  
Leah- And to think this project was just a thought when I was babysitting and being pooperman, and now it's one of my most loved stories!!! It won't be an epic, but it may go on longer than expected. We'll just see... And I think it's hard to imagine Pam falling asleep to, but I needed them to bicker and it seemed to be the most possible. Not going to lie, I've fallen asleep in the bathtub with the lavendar smells after a night without much sleep... And raging hormones she does have, but there is a method to my madness. I promise. There's a reason she has not yet tamed Jim's one eyed snake.  
PJ- Hehe. I love imdb and I love the names Jim comes up with. Hehe. :) My children will be Jenna and John.  
Katy- Haha. She got sick from the bathtub, didn't she? In the last chapter? If not, she gets sick in this one. Whoops. Spoiler.

**

* * *

To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Neck pillows**

Not to be the girlfriend that puts you on the spot, but do you notice anything different about me today?

**To: ****Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cartoons**

Your hair. You curled it. And you have on new nail polish. And I've never seen those shoes before. You also have an adorable little cut on the top right corner of your forehead. It's probably less than the size of your fingernail.

I promise I'm not gay.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Ear hairs**

Wow, you noticed all of that? I didn't even notice half of that.

There's a scar on my forehead? pout

I know you're not gay. You keep me well informed of that. You must _really_ like this shirt…

**To: Pam****ela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Casinos**

So, what were you referring to? The curled hair?

Your scar, like I said, is hardly noticeable and yet also adorable.

It's not the shirt… Sorry, am I staring too much?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: iTunes**

Yeah, the curled hair… What do you think?

No, you're okay. You stare better than Michael.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Dwight**

I think you're gorgeous no matter what your hair looks like, but I really do like the curls.

Want me to deck him for you?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Jared**

Oh, thanks honey. That's commendable but…. Let's be honest, you couldn't deck Michael, baby…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Blue busted g****ods**

Thanks for the faith in me, darling.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Irritable Bowls Syndrome**

I have faith in you, pumpkin. Just not faith in your fighting abilities. And to be honest, I'm not sure I want to have faith in them.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly**

**From: Jim ****Halpert**

**Subject: ****Samosas**

Okay sugar pie. Next time someone comes up and tries to attack you, I'll make sure to step back and let the fighter of the relationship take control.

Are you ready for the next question?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Luaus**

Bring it on.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Kwanzaa**

Now, you have to think about this one, okay?

Question 18: Will you go to Chicago with me?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Overcoats**

My mind is going back to the cute little explanation you put on the playlist you gave me… And yeah, in a little while, I wouldn't mind driving to Chicago with you. As long as you'll lay under California Stars with me.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cream and Sugar**

I'd lay under any stars with you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Funyuns**

Where is this going?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****YooHoo**

That's up to you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Pantaloons**

Let me rephrase the question. Where do you _want_ this to go?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Rockstar**

I want it all, Pam.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Strippers**

What exactly is 'all'?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Mellow ****Yello**

Okay, I'll be blunt then. And please don't do that trick you do where you make me wait for years before you acknowledge what I said and tell me what your answer is.

I want to be the one that holds your hand when your arthritis is bad. I don't know... I'm really bad at this sharing my feelings stuff.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Lipstick**

The arthritis bit was really adorable, Jim… But really, can you let me in a little bit more? I didn't make this one of my questions because I don't want you to feel obligated, but I would like to know.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Blind dogs**

Okay, Pam. I want to marry you. I want to live in a house with a terrace with you, I want you to be the one that helps me find Luke's tennis shoes and Leia's barrettes. I want to kiss you every morning when you wake up and right before you fall asleep. I want us to be that couple that people see in fifty years and say "oh they're so cute."

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Short ****romeo**

Wow, thank you. That's really sweet.

And what if you change your mind, or I do something totally unforgiveable?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Zac ****Efron**

I'll still be here.

I've decided something; do you want to hear it?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Avocado green**

What is it?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Toilet paper**

I will never be the one to let go of this relationship. I'm in it forever.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Erasers**

Oh my god, Jim…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Bob Vance**

Uh… what?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Queen Victoria**

That was the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: You're beautiful**

Well, it's how I feel… What about you…?

**To****: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: You're ****adorkable**

I want the same things you do.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Fields of Gold**

Then, let's plan on it.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Uncle Al**

Okay.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Skidmarks**

Okay.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Letter grades**

You're grinning like an idiot right now, baby.

Oh, and I have an update on Hannah. When you're ready.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Art shows**

You're grinning like an idiot too.

An update on Hannah? From her mouth or Laura's?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Head coverings**

I just can't help it…

From her mouth. She called me yesterday and told me that she's feeling better. She talked to her mom about everything and she feels happy now. She called me when she got home from school to tell me how she was feeling (I know, I'm such a mom… to your niece) and she just sounded so happy. Oh, and she keeps asking about how we're doing. Me and you.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Yale**

Oh, I'm really glad to hear she's feeling better. Does she really call you every day when she gets home from school?

What did you tell her? About us.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject****: Animal control**

Yes, she really does call me every day.

I told her we were doing really well. She asked if I thought we'd ever get married. I told her I thought that might be possible.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Ha****l****pert  
****Subject: Staplers**

Might be possible?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Trench****coats**

Baby, she's eight… I can't tell her anything other than that. I don't want to make her promises I can't keep. Even if we did already agree, I just don't feel right about it. Okay?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Homeless**

Okay, works for me.

Are we moving too fast for you, Beesly?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Freckes**

Oh! Absolutely not. I've known you were right for a while, Jim. Now it's just official steps. And I trust you.

Speaking of that… My parents are coming into town this weekend. We were planning on going out to dinner and maybe to a movie Friday night… Will you come with? I'd love for them to meet you.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Alpha males**

Well, that's good to know. I'm glad.

Yes. I'd love to come! Just let me know.

* * *

I swear I like talking to you guys almost as much as I like writing this story, haha. So here are a few things I have to say:

1) Today I went to the GAP just to see JKras' poster up (yeah, hit it up, ladies!) And I felt like such a dork because I seriously walked against the wall all throughout the stores and stared at him. A sales lady came up to me and asked if I needed anything, and I just pointed at John Krasinski. She laughed and said, "Don't we all?"  
2) I found out an interesting tidbit from Jenna yesterday. Apparently, there were only four people in the room during the Casino Night kiss scene, and it was taped 6 days after the confession. They brought Jenna and John up to the room completely seperately, and Jenna NEVER knew when he would come in, they jsut had her repeat the lines over and over again. The only ones watching were the director and the cameraman. They had 6-10 takes (John and Jenna differed on the amount) but they used the first one. Honestly, how many of us wouldn't mind having 6-10 takes of kissing JKras?  
3) Negotiations tomorrow! Please, God, Please!!!!!  
4) Teaser: Oh, it's a really cute chapter! Pam gets in more than one fight (with different people) and "that moment you've all been waiting for" actually occurs... Just... TRUST ME. you want to read this chapter. It's amazing, if I do say so myself (i hate my writing, but i love this chapter). So, 25 reviews and you get it tomorrow. As soon as the 25th occurs, I'll update.  
5) Goodnight, and good luck!


	19. Love

My grades hate you all!! I got 19 reviews within an hour. You guys are crazy. And you had 26 reviews, which makes me super happy! So here is your chapter that I love. Like really love. I just can't help it. And, by the way, not only did you have a lot of reviews, but really high quality, so thanks a bunch! You guys are amazing!!!!!

Katy- Not quite 25, haha. Adorkable was actually from someone's review in an early chapter. lol. Not an AG original!  
BD- HAHAH. Are the other 24 you? I just dont like reading my writing because I'm a perfectionist. And for most of my stories, I have a distinct writing style, so it sucks because people can pick out my writing (the anonymous stuff) automatically. should have a lot of updates, and Elly- I'm so jealous of you and your GAP posters! Please send me one, LOL. I'll see what I can do about the other story--it might have to be over christmas break!  
Nobody- I'm the same way--I like novel format. For some reason, this story feels different for me (as a writer, and a reader).  
PJ-Thank you Thank you! High fives back!  
Caty- Aww thanks! Best compliment you can give a writer, telling them their fiction is real! Haha!  
Shattered- Yes, he has a few in the Gap. As does Amy (Katy) and Bill Cosby. I found out from an interview I watched about the CN kiss. You are SOOO nice to not care about my hw. haha.  
Deleon- eh. I'm not a fan of predictable, let's put it that way... But I am a fan of JAM marriage, let's put it that way as well...  
Maddi- I just am too much of a perfectionist to enjoy it, but thanks!!  
BigTuna- Oh Chicago! More honest Jim and Pam in this chapter. Woo hoo.  
Shaneer- Well, most of the time the 'baby sweetie' talk is playful. If you pick up on thier tone, a lot of the talk is pretty playful. When it's serious talk, I can easily see how it would slip in as a natural thing after they've been joking around a lot... Kind of the equivalent of Jim being like, "Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that, Beesly." But thanks for the criticism. Maybe that clears that up a bit though?  
Ktface- Funny! I just read one of your stories and reviewed (I think). HAHA on the missterious thing. You crack me up.  
Preppy- Haha! Did you?  
Joanna- Thanks so much!!! I think I will probably write a story like that, I'll just have to look back on the chapters and see where to pick it up... May be half way through, I don't know. Thanks again!  
Kerber- Aww thanks!!!  
SmallTuna- This one's for you...  
ASP- Adorkable came from an old reviewer, so I don't care if you use it! It'll be the new thing!  
Literati- Oh yeah, I know what you mean. One of the pictures has the description in the crotch and I'm so confusd as to what to do! lol.  
Ruli- when you rewrote it, it made it sound like something Charlie Brown would say, haha. Chicago--dates back to chapter 7's playlist. he said he wanted to go to chicago with someone he's in love with.  
James- Ohh Thanks! I should bribe you more often! What would it take to get another review? Haha. De Rien!! Tu es parle francais? Je parle francaise un peu.  
Thatsmyname- Haha! Lovin' it.  
Booky- So my other teaser's arent? LOL. The update is going right now! Haha. And dont get me started on how much I dislike MTT. I'm kind of like I've gotten 4 for 4 chapters over there, and I've gotten 296 over here. Hmmm...  
Anon- Thanks!  
Dancer- I know. And Pam just enjoys it so much, haha. No I can't do my school work. I go read FF haha. I'm addicted. I'm still trying to find Dwight's story...  
Claire- LOL you crack me up. Negotiations Negotiations! Oh please God, Oh please!!! You were #25, by the way!  
Lunar- Aww, thanks!!!

Whew!!! You guys sure do talk a lot ;)

**

* * *

To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: My eye is sweating!**

I had a tickle match with my cat this morning. I now have cat hairs on my back and scratches all over my back. The sad thing is, my cat won… My cat has paws. How does something with paws win the tickling game over someone with fingers? You have five minutes to offer an explanation.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Red Rover, Red Rover, send Kevin right over!**

I need more information. Was this Vitamin or Whisker? What parts was the cat tickling, and where were you attempting to tickle? How was the match judged?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Gym key**

This is cutting into your five minutes you know? It was Vitamin, this morning at 07:21. We were on my bed, in my room. I was wearing my red robe; Vitamin was naked like most cats are. Vitamin was tickling my sides; I was tickling her stomach. The match was judged by loudest laughter.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Page 7 of 7 is printing**

So you're telling me that you lost a tickling match to Vitamin? Vitamin is your weaker cat, according to Dwight. And, can cats even laugh?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Minerals**

Yes, I lost a tickling match to Vitamin! Why is that so hard for you to believe? And how does Dwight know which cat of mine is the weakest?

They meow…

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: home stereo**

You lost a tickling match to Vitamin because she can meow louder than you can?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Queue**

So, dinner with the family tonight is at La Fiesta at 7 PM. Then we're doing a late movie around 9. I'm really excited you're going to be there!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Wee World**

Oh, about that… I can't come. Mark just told me today that we're having a party at our house tonight. I didn't have any say in planning it or anything, but I'm kind of required to go. Stupid roommates.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: cousins**

What? Why does he expect he can just plan a party without telling you and expect you to be there on a minute's notice?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Nannying**

It's just a get together for a few friends of ours. I'm sure he just thought I would be free, and if we wanted to do something, I could just invite you over.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Nutmeg**

So let me get this straight. You're standing me up for dinner with my parents to go to a small party that your roommate has put on last minute for your friends?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Emails**

Pam, it's important I make sure they don't wreck my house, haha.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Eyelashes**

Wow. You really have no idea how pissed off or hurt I am right now, do you?

I can't talk to you right now. If you change your mind, we'll be at Cugino's at 6:30. I really hope you think about what you're doing. And please know that it's going to take a lot for me to want to talk to you again.

Laura wanted you to know your new name is Assface Halpert. I tend to agree.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Babysitting**

I understand you're upset, I just don't understand why you're so upset? It's just dinner and a movie.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Brown dogs**

I'm upset because you promised me we would go out tonight with my parents, and then your roommate plans a party, and you feel that his party is more important than me. Even though you already said you would go out with us a week and a half ago. You really can't understand why that would upset me?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Wild n Crazy Kids**

I guess I didn't realize how big of a deal it was to you. I'm sorry.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Life**

Sorry doesn't cut it, mister. And it being a big deal to me is not the issue at all. It's not the dinner that's the issue. The issue is that you chose something else over me after you told me you'd be there. THAT is the issue. I told my parents you were coming, and do you have any idea how crappy it will be to have to tell them you're not? After all they've heard about you. And, how do you think it makes me feel knowing that the one person I trust more than anyone else, and the person I'm thinking of marrying and spending my life with, would rather have a small get together at his house two hours after his roommate arranges it than go out to dinner with my family. Is that really where I rank on your list, Jim?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Red font**

Pam, of course you rank higher than Mark or parties on my list. I love you… And I'm sure your mom and dad would understand. We can still all get together for the rest of the weekend.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Cross stitching**

Well, I'm not seeing the actions of your love or priorities. And I've learned to believe actions over words, so you better step it up really soon.

The issue, once again, isn't whether or not they'll understand. And don't you dare try and strike a deal with me. I'm through with the deals, Jim. If I did the same thing to you, you would be pissed. You made a commitment to me. You can't just go back on that because in your mind something better comes along. Not only is it rude, but it's hurtful.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Flip Flops**

I'm sorry, Pam… I didn't realize that this dinner meant so much to you, and I didn't realize that I was sending you that message… You do mean more to me than anything, and I know I was being insensitive and crappy, and I'm sorry. I really just thought that you wanted me to spend time with your family at some point this weekend, I didn't realize it was a tonight thing. I thought you'd actually have fun if it was just the three of you. I'm sorry.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Van Gogh**

How many times are you going to say I'm sorry? Jesus, Jim.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: John Cusack**

As many as it takes?

What movie are we seeing?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Karma**

My parents and I are seeing the new Julia Roberts movie.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Ho ****Ho****Ho**

I hate that you're so mad at me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Sketch**

Well, I hate that you hurt my feelings. I'm going to lunch alone today. I need to sketch. Maybe when I come back I won't be mad at you any longer.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Twirling**

You're at lunch, sketching… but I wanted to let you know, if you get back before I do, that I'm not going to the party. Because I love you, and I want to be with you.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Monkeys**

So, you planning on just sitting at home watching TV all night? I heard the Phillies are playing.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Mute**

Well, I'm planning on going to eat at La Fiesta tonight at 7… I'm probably eating solo, I guess. Then afterwards I was going to see that new Julia Roberts movie.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Task menu**

Any reason why you're doing all of that solo?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: 2****nd**** Gear**

I really screwed up, Pam. My girlfriend's parents are coming into town this weekend and she asked me a while ago if I'd be free for dinner and a movie with them, and I said I'd go, and then Mark called me and asked me to this party, and I said yes, without thinking. I was so insensitive to her feelings and she's really upset, and she should be… So, I'm going solo because my plans were to go to dinner and a movie tonight, and I'm not going to break them. I guess I'll just sit at the opposite side of the restaurant and watch from afar.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Bananas**

Did you tell your girlfriend all of that? I mean, I'm sure you threw out the I'm sorry's like they were spoiled milk, but there's a difference in saying "I'm sorry" and really apologizing and understanding the other person… Try that.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Edison High School**

So, you think if I tell her that I understand I hurt her because I chose something else over her and that I did it without really thinking about it, but I love her and want to be with her over everyone else that she'll understand and let me come to dinner with her? It really hurts knowing that I hurt her. I never want to do that.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Gemini Capricorn**

Well, if your girlfriend doesn't accept that and doesn't let you sit at her table, you can come sit at mine. I'll be there with my family.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Daggers**

Hey, you didn't run off to the bathroom to see the toilet water swirl.

Can I see you in the break room please?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Peacocks**

Thank you, Jim. I guess I really just needed to hear you say you loved me and chose me. You know how insecure I can get.

Question Nineteen: Why do you love me?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Magnets**

Why do I love you?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Polka dots**

Yes. Why do you love me? What about me makes you love me?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Hex**

You're asking me to explain my love to you?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Kung Fu**

You sure are fighting it a lot.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: The Sixth Sense**

I'm just not sure I can explain love… That's all. I'll try, for you, though.

I love the way your curls bounce when you laugh. I love how your eyes shine. I love your smile. I love that you can make me smile by just looking at me, or make me laugh by just talking. You have a great sense of humor. I love that you are a deep thinker and that you really consider the sides of every story. I love that you reflect back on your life, but still seem happier to be here than there. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you touch me when you laugh, the way you look at me. I love that you can tell if I'm being serious or joking by simply studying my face. I love that you sketch and draw at work and every other time you possibly can. I love that you are freaking amazing at laser tag. I love that you get in tickle fights with your cats. I love that you help people even when they hurt you. I love how accepting you are of everyone, no matter what they do. I love that I don't scare you off. I love that every night before I go to bed I get a text message from you, and I love that there is always one there before I wake up in the morning too. I love that you can't ever be the first one to hang up. I love that you can be such a little kid, yet such an adult too. I love that you are there for everyone, all the time, no matter what. And I love your heart. I love that you can take on everyone else's pain and think of them first. You aren't satisfied being happy unless everyone else is. I love that about you. And there are a billion other things I love about you that I can't even start to describe because I don't even know how to explain them myself.

And don't ask me why I love you. I just love you because you're you and I can't help it. It's just always been there. That's like asking the sun why it shines.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Lime**

I hate you. Please bring me a Kleenex. Um, a few Kleenex… The whole box of Kleenex.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Kelly**

I didn't mean to make you cry…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Racquetball**

Well, you're doing a really good job of it today, honey.

I guess it's my turn, huh?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Blonde hair**

I wasn't really expecting you to answer the question.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Purple pants**

Why not?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject:**** Chalkboards**

You haven't told me you loved me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Jellybeans**

Come to my desk.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Rod Stewart**

How can I do anything but smile after that? Add that to the list of things I love about you: I love how beautiful your voice is when you tell me you love me. I love that you kiss me and don't care who sees it.

Though I'm pretty sure everyone knows we're dating now.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Clifford the big red dog**

We almost got away with it! We would have if Dwight hadn't barked at us in front of everyone!!!

I love you. Is it as good in type?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Female**

Oh my! Beesly, that was awesome! Dwight barking!?! Where have we heard that one before?

It's just as good. I'll take it anyway you want to say it.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Fingers**

Written on the side of a dumpster?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Apples**

That would be wonderful.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Crucifix**

On a roller coaster right before the big drop?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cameras**

That would put butterflies in my stomach.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Scranton**

In a text message in the middle of the day?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Refried Beans**

Didn't I look like I just enjoyed that one?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject:**** Champagne**

Written across a 'Color of Pam's Eyes Green' t-shirt with silver writing that I wear on a date?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Red Sweaters**

That would be easy on the eyes.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject**** You Tube**

What about written out in an email that starts like this:

I don't think I could ever pick out the single things that I love about you because I love _you_. Every piece that makes up who you are, I love. I love your sense of humor and that you find such fun in making Dwight look even more idiotic. I love that when you kiss me I can feel how much you love me and want me. I love that you listen to me, I mean, really listen to me. I love that you can sense that something's wrong before I even know it is. I love that you know me so well. I love that you don't care how many times I screw up. I love the way you grin that goofy grin. The way your face is always lopsided (it's so adorable, Jim!). I love that you get nervous telling me how you feel about me, and I love that you are obsessed with your nieces. I love that you walk into all of my jokes. I love that I'm not nervous at all about my parents meeting you. I love that the promises you make with your mouth are really promises that you intend to keep. I love that you want to marry me and have babies with me. I love that you always have to tell me what you had for dinner because you think I care. I love the way you mock offense. I love that you are caring, and sweet, and that you make sure I know how much you love me. I love that you never leave me. But most of all, I love that you stink at laser tag.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Dinner**

Oh, yeah, that one definitely works.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Fuzzies**

What about tonight… after the movie, under the covers… whispered in your ear like a secret?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Aviators**

Oh yes…. Under the covers? Tell me more about that.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Toenails**

Well, I was thinking…

Maybe you could come over after we drop off my parents at the hotel tonight…

I just think I might have a little bit of trouble getting out of my outfit.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Oreos**

Oh? Tell me more…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Blushing**

Well, I was thinking perhaps after you help me out of mine, I can help you out of yours… We can do a little bit of kissing and… ahem, other things, and crawl under the covers wrapped up in each other.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Yummy**

That sounds like great fun.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Tampons**

I only have one requirement.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Monsters**

Oh, what's that?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Halo 2**

The clothes I help you take off better not even graze your body until at least tomorrow morning, if not later. Or never.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject:**** Newspaper**

An 'I love you' and a promise of sex, all in the same day? God, baby, sign me up!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Brake fluid**

You are so excited right now! I love what I can do to you!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lightning**

Right now, what you're doing to me hurts a bit…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Orange**

Poor baby… Can I kiss it and make it better?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Fifth Amendment**

That's so cruel…

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Emo**

Man, you haven't gotten up in a while…. Will you go get me a grape soda, honey?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Gates**

I hate you….

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Khaki pants**

But… I love you.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Brown buttons**

I love you, too.

* * *

Well, there you go. The moments you've all been waiting for. Tell me what you thought?

Also, to check out the strike info you can go to unitedhollywood or officetally. they're both .com but i can type that cause ff deletes it.

PS. The JAM fight is an actual fight between my Jim and I. Jerk. And the making up part is not, sadly. Haha.

So... There you have it. Now I'm off to write the last chapter (or the second half of it) and maybe do some homework.


	20. Rose

Wow! I can't believe I'm posting the next to last chapter. I just finished the last one three seconds ago, and oh man. Bittersweet. But I think you'll all like it. Mmm. I need my JAM back!! Let's all hope for progress at the negotiating table today (the writers say there was progress yesterday). But, so you all know... I'll post the next chapter when I get a certain number of reviews (not telling you how many, though on chapter 18, you all gave me 30! dang!) and it's pretty good, I think. I struggled with it a lot... But, that's beside the point.

Literati-I'm glad you liked it! It was my favorite one to write!  
SmallTuna- Boys are stupid. It's just a fact of life. Yes, the action was for you. Bleh. I hate smut-ing. And yet I do it...  
Eukanooba- Thanks!! It's always nice to hear from readers! Hopefully, you'll get your JAM fix from NBC when it stops being horrible. Just a thought.  
Shattered- Yeah, well, all men have their jerk sides. You just gotta expose them at some point.  
Katy- WOW! Nice review! I'm glad you thought the chapter was good and that the second part made up for the fight... I thought the fight was important becasue it showed the realistic qualities of thier fairy tale love story. Oh, and about your daughter. LOVE her name. It, however, is not mine. My name just means Grace, and I've always always always loved the name Grace and plan on naming my child Grace! I liked Ch. 2 of HWY, I need to go review it!  
Henantz- Mmm. JKras... I'm glad you liked the i love yous! It was fun writing them!  
Noname- Thanks so much!!!  
Staree- We can cry together.  
Dancer- It's okay, we worked it out last night too, and now it's better than ever :) and I think there should be a fight in pretty much every story. There just needs to be some realism to the relationship. You can't have characters who go through life thinking it'll be perfect the entire time, yanno?  
ASP- Everytime I see your name I think "Amy Sherman-Palladino" and it makes me smile. Bad Pam! HAHA. Love it. Have you seen Blades of Glory? And apparently Jenna has some pretty sexy scenes in Walk Hard. Go figure. This seems to be her only "good girl" role.  
Nutmeg- It actually was a shout out to you! Sometimes it takes forever to come up with subject lines, haha.  
BD- Oh man! I don't even know how to begin to reply to you. Thanks so much for the compliments on the chapter. Okay, so the cats thing... I just said she did because I know Jenna loves cats... Then I was watching Fun Run yesterday, and when Angela asks if Roy ever killed her cats (haha) Pam says "I'm more of a dog person." Whoops! I think at some point, every guy is that insensitive... And every girl. Just a fact of life. Brown dogs was a shout out to you. I'm glad you liked the i love yous. I love how she tells him she's ready, yet she still has to skirt around the issue... She can't say "sex", it's all "ahem, something" or "under the covers". My Pam cracks me up!  
PJ- Thank you thank you! I swear, my story has so many random things happening in it... Does anybody really have tickle fights with their cats?  
Dejah- Oh wow! Thanks!!! I'm glad you liked SE. I was rereading it yesterday, and it felt soooo long to me because it's all in novel format. When I read these chapters, they feel so short and light. haha. Anyway, thanks so much!!!  
Anon- The really random subject lines are just really random subject lines. No point. Its what my Jim and I do. We rarely have a subject line that has to do with the subject of the email.  
Eagle- :) "Out of the way, FBI.. FBI, Out of the way. FBI FBI FBI... Okay, I need two double-tall..."  
Preppy- It's not the last one! There is still one more. The next one. And it's so freaking long I don't know what to do about it.  
Raindrops- Thanks so much! JAM is so sweet, for the most part. Gotta throw a little tart in there, though. Otherwise it wouldnt be as good. :) And Hannah's last appearance is in this chapter.  
Booky- Thanks so much!!! Hehe. I really want to see Pam write I love you on the side of a dumpster for Jim one day. We've never heard a confession of LOVE from her on the show, have we?  
Nicole- I do too... In the second part of the chapter, lol. Not the first part. Leave those guys at home!  
Leah- I agree! Flaws make the beauty. And Jim certainly is beautiful.  
Maddikinz- Eh, Pam doesnt have any neices or nephews. That was my executive decision. And I like the fights too. I hate when people assume that if they fight it's a problem. Who doesn't fight in real life?  
Ruli- Boys are stupid. And they're in love. and we all want to squeal, haha.  
GinJoints- Thanks! Really? You think Pam's too insecure in this chapter? Season 2 Pam, coming out of a broken ten year relationship where the man really just kind of wanted her for the shallow things, didn't really truly love her deeply... I would be pretty damn messed up, I think. Insecure about other men. Every relationship starts out good and then turns sour. You don't stay in one that starts sour. I guess I just think her fears and insecurities are justified, but I do respect what you're saying! Thanks for your input.

So, I guess my response to all of you is... told you so?

And, to much dismay, this chapter is the last of Hannah. She's not going to die or anything, she just isn't mentioned.

**

* * *

To: Pamela Beesly  
From: Jim Halpert  
Subject: Canaries**

Good morning, beautiful. How was your night?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Steve Holy?**

My night was wonderful with you by my side.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Smiley Faces**

Happy birthday, by the way.

Are you glad you waited?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Vanilla soy milk**

Thank you.

Yeah, I am.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Macbeth, in the foyer, with the dagger**

Have too much O.J. this morning, baby? Second time you've been to the bathroom in ten minutes.

You are? Tell me more… Was that a pamgasm? If it was, I'm horrible.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Really, Really, Ridiculously good looking**

These flowers on my desk better be from you. How did you know I liked these? They're so beautiful, Jim.

Oh, baby, that was definitely not a pamgasm. I can't even begin to describe to you how much that wasn't a pamgasm.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Cobra Starship**

I'm glad you like them. Dwight picked them out especially for you. Do you know what next Thursday is?

Oh, is that so? What kind of gasm was that then?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Suzie from Planned Parenthood**

They're from Dwight? Halpert… be serious… What is next Thursday?

Which one?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Taming the one-eyed snake**

No, they're from me… And next Thursday is my anniversary with my girlfriend. It's been nine months since our first date.

Oh that's right… You had a few. I pick the third one.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Purple petals**

Wow, that's funny. Your girlfriend told me you two have only been dating for four months, two weeks, and three days. And 21 hours.

Oh, that third gasm? That's the kind of gasm that makes you orgasm just thinking about it. Mmm. (You are so good. Did I tell you that?)

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: God gave us oil!**

Well, she's wrong. Our first date was actually four and a half months before we started dating. You see, she might not remember it, but we saw a really amazing show, had Grilled Cheese sandwiches on the roof with fireworks, and then we danced. Swayed. But swaying is dancing.

We might need to stop talking about this. I heard you whimper all the way over here… Don't worry, we can have an encore tonight. (Only because you are.)

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Tommy Corn**

Ooh encore tonight… I can't wait.

Oh right… That sounds like a date to me. I bet she just didn't think you counted that, since you weren't official or anything.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Count Olaf**

Oh… Well I count it. It was our first date, we just didn't get our act together until four and a half months later.

You never told me why you're glad we waited. I would like to know.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Discovery Zone**

Okay, so in your mind, you and your girlfriend have been together nine months.

I don't want to upset you.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Gogurt**

Nine months... Exactly. That's a baby!

And no. You won't upset me.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject:**** Bewitched**

Okay, well I guess I'm glad we waited because I wasn't really ready emotionally. I mean, my body tensed up and I wanted you so badly… I know I never told you that, but even before I left Roy, I wanted you so badly. And the more we started dating and the more you knew about me and still loved me, the more I wanted you… But I needed to know that was there. That unconditional love. I've never had anyone praise my body before. With Roy it was always criticism about how I gained weight or I had a mole here, or too big of a freckle there, or I was too pale here. And I don't think he meant to hurt me, but he did. And it gave me this self-consciousness about my body and almost a fear to show it off. And with you… I don't know, I didn't want to disappoint you, and I couldn't begin to fathom the pain that would come if you looked at me the same way he did. Not that you would, it was an irrational fear, I know that… But I needed to know you loved me no matter what before I shared my body with you and let you see the most intimate parts of me.

I wanted to see how long you would wait for me, too… Roy was never willing to wait. He was always a go-getter… Even when I said I wasn't ready, I'd cave into his desires. And I wanted to see what you were like. It was almost my way of testing you to see if you wanted me for me or for my body because if you wanted me for my body, you were going to be sorely disappointed. It's not like I went into it consciously thinking that you wanted me for sex, but it was a fear that just ate at me for a while…

I just needed to know you wouldn't leave when you saw my body, and that it wasn't the only reason you were in this. You weren't just sweet talking me to get into my pants. And in the process of really examining you, I found out a lot about myself and our relationship. I realized what I was afraid of, and I was able to look at those fears and figure them out and pinpoint why they were there, to some degree. And a lot of them were there because I let Roy control me. Not physically, but with his mind games I let him control how I thought of myself and everything, and that's not healthy. So, since we've started dating (the four and a half month dating), I've been trying to break down those thoughts and look at myself and see myself for as I really am and not some faulty, used car part that Roy thought I was… And I needed to do that and work through those things before I let you in. I didn't want to subject you to all of that. I didn't want to be scared when we finally did have sex because it's such a big step, and I wanted it with you for so long, and I wanted it to be so perfect…

It was amazing, Jim. Toe curling amazing. And you were just phenomenal… I just don't think it would have been as amazing if we'd done it earlier.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: XXX**

Fair enough. Thank you for telling me all of that. I could tell there was something going on in your head last night. When I was looking in your eyes last night, there was some fear there. I hope it's at least somewhat gone away.

I love you, Pam. Apart from your body, I love you so much. And I will always wait for you to be ready. No matter what it is, I'll wait for you. I wouldn't ever want to pressure you or push you into something else. And, so you know, I love your body. I think you are absolutely beautiful. I love every freckle, every mole, every piece of pale skin you have. And honestly, I wouldn't care if you looked like Phyllis, I'm attracted to who you are, not what you look like.

Is there any way I can help you work through it all?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Limpid pools of desire**

I love you… Oh my god, when you looked into my eyes, I nearly died. My heart races just thinking about that.

Everything you do helps me work through it. Thank you.

Are you saying Phyllis is or is not attractive?

Do you have plans for lunch today?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Boston Market**

I'm saying Phyllis is not a sexy person, but if you were to don Phyllis's appearance, all of a sudden, I would really, really enjoy her body.

I do. I am taking my girlfriend out to lunch for her birthday. Then we are swinging by my place so she can see her present.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Elastigirl**

I'm going to ignore that you said you could ever possibly enjoy Phyllis's body. But thank you. You make me feel so beautiful.

Oh really? Where are you taking her?

What did you get me? Did you get me The Incredibles DVD? What is it, Jim? Tell me! Tell me!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Babysitting**

You are beautiful.

I'll have to ask her where she wants to go.

Baby, where do you want to go for lunch?

You are so adorable. I'm not telling you what I got you. But check your pants pocket.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Wheat**

I bet she'll want to go to Alfredo's Pizza Café.

Alfredo's Pizza Café. You don't have to take me out to lunch though, baby.

When did you slip a love letter into my pocket?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Lucky Charms**

Alfredo's Pizza Café it is. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't take you out to lunch for your birthday?

Well, contrary to pamular belief, smiley face pancakes with sprinkles and whipped cream don't make themselves. And if you're going to make them for your girlfriend to wake up to in the morning, you have to get up early. You'd already set your clothes out for the day, I just put it in your pants pocket before you got up.

We'll leave in three emails.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject:**** When you need me call me**

A really crappy one.

Those were good pancakes. And that was an amazing letter. Thank you.

This has been the best birthday of my life!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: No matter where ****you are****, no matter how far**

Am I a really crappy boyfriend? I try not to be.

The day's barely even started yet, Beesly!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Twister**

You are the complete opposite of a really crappy boyfriend.

I'm hungry! Let's go!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: ****Cuginos**

Lunch was amazing, thank you honey.

I have a funny story to tell you.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Monkey bones**

Oh? Do tell.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Waffle house**

I don't actually know how to ride a bike. My dad tried to teach me when I was six, and somehow I tricked him into thinking I could right before we had this huge blizzard. And when the blizzard was over, he forgot all about teaching me…So I have no idea how to ride one.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Binders**

That would have been nice to know before I got you your red mountain bike you so desired for your birthday.

What if I teach you?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Green stripes**

I'm sorry… I didn't realize you'd actually get me a mountain bike…

I feel stupid not knowing how to ride one. Why would you want to teach me? I'll just feel even stupider.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Radio**

More stupid.

Don't feel stupid about it. Feel silly. And just think of it this way. I need practice teaching someone before I get on the road with Luke and Leia.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Computers**

Okay… Sex and bike riding lessons tonight, it is.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Marilyn Manson**

Among other things.

Question Twenty: Will you accept this rose?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject:**** Tampa Bay Buccaneers**

What? I thought I already accepted the rose, dear Bachelor.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Side dishes**

I meant the rose of exclusivity.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Cup of No**

Uhh. Is that your way of trying to get me to think you're dating other women? If so, I don't buy it.

Ask a new question. That one was crap, baby.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Clowns**

Okay fine. Question 20: What is your biggest fear?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Orange hoops**

I have two. One is that I'll never be able to have children, and the other is that you'll leave me.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Birch**

I will never leave you.

I will do my very hardest to make sure you get your children.

Would you ever consider adopting a child?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Pylons**

I would love to adopt, yes… I'd also like kids of our own, though.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Reeses**

Our own? Was that a slip or intentional?

I agree with you about the kids. How many do you want?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Celtics**

That was a slip. Whoops! I meant my. But now everything is ours and we, so…

Well, I really like the name Audrey. So I guess that brings the number up to three.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Printers**

How does the name Audrey equal three children?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Wildcats**

Luke, Leia and Audrey, duh.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Brown paper packages tied up with string**

My thoughts exactly!

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: You are a few of my favorite things**

Answer the question, Halpert.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Sharpies**

My biggest fear is that I won't make you happy.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Childproof Locks**

Baby, you make me so happy. And yeah, in the future we'll have some not so rosy times, but we'll work through them. You make me happy. I know that's all you want, for me to be happy, and that in and of itself makes me happy.

I have no doubts we'll be happy together, Jim.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Victoria's Secret**

Who are you laughing with on the phone?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Ronald**

Why? Jealous?

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Relient**** K**

Yes. Now who is it?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Dr. Funk**

Hold on... Jesus.

It's Hannah.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Puppies**

Hi Hannah!

Tell me what's up… When you're done I mean.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Pennies**

She said hi back.

Sorry, long conversation.

You won't believe who was sitting in the living room when she got home from school today.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: I love you**

Barney? A flying baby?

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: You love me**

No. Staff Sergeant Daddy.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****We're a happy family**

Really?!?! Good!!!!! I'm so glad! I thought he wasn't due back for another month or so at least. He was deployed for six months. That was after we were dating.

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: With a great big hug**** and a kiss from me to you**

Apparently, they sent him home early. And he's perfectly fine. She walked in the door and flipped out apparently. She's feeling a lot better now, I think. Happy, go lucky… The child you described to me before I met her.

Isn't that such a load of your chest? It is off mine.

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Won't you say you love me too?**

Big load off. I'm so happy for them. You'll really like Walt when you meet him. He's a great guy. And he's REALLY great with the girls.

To: Jim **Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: I love you too**

Great like you? Or great like Barney?

I'm ready to go learn how to ride a bike! I can conquer it! I know I can!

**To: Pamela ****Beesly  
****From: Jim ****Halpert  
****Subject: Make sure you ****carboload**

All you have to do is just believe in yourself, Beesly. You can conquer many things. Do great things.

I heard something the other day that made me think of you. I was watching a movie and you were talking to your sister on the phone. It's from The Emperor's Club, with Kevin Kline? Anyways, it's, "The measure of a life is not measured by a single failure or a solitary success."

**To: Jim ****Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Beesly  
****Subject: Birthdays**

The measure of my life is not determined by whether or not I fall off of my new red mountain bike. Good to know. Good to know.

* * *

Next chapter last chapter long chapter.

Review, please! And support the WGA!


	21. No

You all can thank not only your fellow reviewers, but also Katy for this chapter. I told her I'd update my last chapter if she put Ch. 3 of her story up, and she did in a heartbeat, and I just cant go back on my word. Dang it all.

Also, pay attention to the subject line section. To/From becomes important. VERY important.

And your review replies:

Katy- I see my name will forever be Grace. Lol. Try and picture Jim and Pam learning to ride a bike. HAHA. I can just picture Pam "what if I run into the bushes?" haha. Thanks also for telling me how you felt about the insecurities thing--I never know if I've taken them too far or not far enough!!  
SmallTuna- You got all three references! Four peanut butter cookies for you! And I'm not a huge fan of the song, I just always think of it when I hear the phrase... Haha. You must be young if that song was out when you were in high school! Well, older than me, but still. Foot in mouth. And you and your hubby are TOO cute.  
Literati- I will send Jim your way... And read on to see if you guessed the last question.  
Kerber- Thanks so much!  
Lunar- Corny Jim, Blushy Pam. Woo hoo.  
BD- extra anxious for your review on this one... but first, thanks about the subject lines! im so glad you liked this chapter. i'll have jim write you a love letter. and cmon, havent you always wanted a mountain bike? (And your dream about lindsay lohan! Oh my gosh, have you read the article jenna fischer wrote? It's called 10 Things You Don't Know About Women [google it and in it she references Lindsay Lohan. SOOOO funny.  
PJ- Aww thanks so much!!! I really appreciate your comments!!! I love the third person thing... I don't think I include it in this chapter though.  
Elly- Yeah, I was worried they would get sappy too. I had to go read through them and delete them and put things like "trash can" instead of "bob the builder". haha.  
Coffee- I'm so glad you like it! Let's hope the strike ends right after the last chapter of this story! how amazing would that be, lol. And yeah, the way they keep saying how funny the last show is makes me mad. GRR. I want to see it.  
Shattered- Everyone loved Barney! Haha. So funny! Mmm Jkras. If only he was real and inside my bedroom, not hanging up at the gap.  
ASP- Oh, it's dang good. I had BM for dinner last night, and I couldn't figure out why you referenced it. I thought for a moment, "am I so much of a dork that I updated my fan fiction with what I had for dinner?" lol. Now the answer is yes.  
GinJoints- Thanks!  
Nutmeg- Haha. Gas fights. Whoops. I want to see Jenna Fischer ride a bike and John Krasinski taking off the training wheels. Lol.  
Eaglechic- Aww thanks!!!! Enjoy your time in the Santa Monica Women's Correctional Facility pageant. snort  
Nobody- Well, here it is! The waiting is over!  
MD- Aww thanks! And thanks for reviewing! I love new faces!  
Maddikinz-Aww thanks! And no, Pam wasn't pregnant in the last one. Jim was just being observant that she had to pee a lot... She wouldn't be peeing that quickly anyways, since it was like, the next day. haha.  
Vwalters- Um, I think you're going to die? No, what you're going to do is call the presidents of the major networks and say "I NEED ME SOME JOHN KRASINSKI" and then you will not have a strike anymore. YOU are the one that will make the difference.  
MadiWillow- Aww thanks! And thanks for reviewing! Even more of a reason to procrastinate!!!  
Claire- I just read your PM. And then accidentally deleted it. And forgot what it said. Sorry darling. Haha. Anyway, fangasms. hehe. a whole new word sweeping the nation because of my story. Haha on the third one. Three seemed like a good number.  
Nicolec- I hope you love him after this chapter too! I will be changing my name to Pamela Beesly. Haha.  
Staree- Yeah, I had to say 4 mo. to make the relationship work and this last chapter fit in... but i think it works... i mean, they've had a lot of milestones. they can't all happen in a week or even a few weeks? at least in my opinion. I agree about the fan following. It almost makes me not want to post the last chapter just so I keep it! haha! But I love the fans, and my work is for the fans. And I am really Jenna Fischer, and that is what I SHOULD have said at the Dundies.  
Dejah- Well, what do you know. You were the review that hit the number. So, aren't you glad you reviewed now? haha  
Ruli- I double checked this time! You caught me like half a second before I went to post! YAY us! Um thanks so much! And wow, when you write out everything he did, he sounds amazing. I don't really plan any of my chapters AT ALL (other than the questions I had somewhat of an idea) so I didnt realize he was as amazing. Oh well, thats what he wanted to be... And here's to not waiting! FAT PHYLLIS!  
BigTuna- Eh. I didn't put in how they liked him because everybody likes Jim, haha... And I just completely forgot! That tidbit was more about the fight and getting the feelings out than the actual dinner with the 'rents... But you can infer what happens after this story. And, DOABH is the story you're referring to, I think? Not the songfic one? If so, I have the next chapter ready, but Im going back and reading it and tuning it to match up with some of my reviewers needs and wants and stuff. That story is harder to write because it's more time consuming as I have to watch the episodes one-three times and take notes and pick out what Pam's feeling and go back and read my last chapter and I usually go read the transcript of the NEXT episode so I have an idea how far I can go into her feelings and such. So it just takes a lot of work. But I'll update this week, I promise.

**

* * *

**

**To: Jim Halpert  
From: Pamela Beesly  
Subject: Thriller**

How is the potty training going?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Quick Styles**

…?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Pink rugs**

Hi seemed overrated.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Bubbles**

My girlfriend is insane!

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Jasmine**

So is mine.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Blue petals**

Seriously! Have you lost your mind?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Dimes**

I think I lost it under one of the couch cushions.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Grub**

Rubba dub dub, what's for dinner?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Blue**

Um, that doesn't rhyme? And hot pockets. And corn.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Interpol**

Wow. That doesn't make us sound like high schoolers at all.

You will not believe what I found last night.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Trojan Man!**

A used condom?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Figure Skating**

Umm… No. I tend to throw those away.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Headphones**

What did you find?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Stalking**

You remember a few years ago at Christmas when I gave you the teapot with all of our inside jokes in it? Well, I also had a Christmas card in it, but I took it out while you were looking through the pot.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Graduations**

I thought I was missing a card! I'd seen it earlier and when I went to look for it, it was gone! What did it say?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Scribble Scrabble**

It said:

_Pam,_

_Christmas is the time where you tell people how you feel. I know we've been really good friends for a while, and maybe I'm doing a horrible thing by telling you this, but I can't help it. I'm not expecting anything to come of it (and it's fine if nothing does), but I just need you to know. I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time, and even though I've tried to do the honorable thing and move on, I can't. At least not until you know how I feel. I'm pretty sure you do know. I can't imagine you not. If you didn't already, look back at our relationship, and maybe you'll be able to see what apparently everyone else can already. The only thing I ask of you is that you be brutally honest with me. I need to know how you feel, so I can move on, and let go. I love you, and I don't want anything to happen to our friendship, but I can't keep going like this. Please, just let me know._

_Jim._

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Jesus**

Can I have a copy of that?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Emily had her baby!!!!**

Sure. It belongs to you.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Zola Warrior Princess**

Who's Emily?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: You mean Xena**

Emily? Oh, just some woman that had a baby. I don't even know her. I just made her up. Her daughter's name is Kevin.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Thanksgiving**

What am I going to do with you?

Mom wants to know how many I'm bringing for Thanksgiving dinner?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Banana**

That you will never know!

That's funny, my mom just asked how many I'm bringing for Christmas.

Your answer: There will be 2 of you.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Oranges!**

2 for Thanksgiving, check!

2 for Christmas.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Norton Anti-Virus**

Wow, alternating holidays already. We're hitting the big time, Halpert.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: 1:35 AM**

We sure are, Beesly.

You know what I'm ready for?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: The Bible**

Me to pop the question?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Stencils**

Don't you dare! That's my job.

Question 21.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Rings**

Oh, right… Well, get on that, Halpert. Wink. I'm just kidding. Kind of.

About that…

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Coffee**

What do you mean, about that?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Chuck E Cheese**

I don't think I want to ask Question 21… Ever.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****Californication**

Explain yourself.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Red hair**

Oh, come on, Jim. Can you honestly say you want the game to end? I mean, so much has happened since we started it. It's been like a little piece of magic, and I've loved being able to ask you things and know I'm going to get an answer, whether it was "my question" or not… It was just nice. And we've gotten to be really close through it, I think… I mean, you know a lot about me. More than anyone else does. And I just don't want to see that change, and I'm scared it might if we cut this game… Which is why I don't want to end it by asking the last question.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Swampstock Festivals**

That's sweet, but…

Suck it up, Beesly. It's part of the rules of the game.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Fuche family reunion**

No, it's not. There is no rule that says my next question has to come within a timely manner. Or at all, for that matter.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Potpourri**

I want you to ask the question. Otherwise, there's no point to this game. Haven't you ever seen Jumanji?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Hey Jude**

Jim, the questions aren't going to come alive and stampede through Scranton.

No point to the game? You really can't see all of the "point" this game had?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****General Robert Patton**

They might!!!!!!

Why would you ever think that just because we were in this game when we started talking more openly that would stop if the game ended? That's ludicrous.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Watermelon**

Well, then, don't stand behind Kevin.

I don't think it's all that ludicrous. This game forces honest and open communication. Would you honestly have told me all of your feelings about me without this game? Maybe. But I probably wouldn't have told you. And I like telling you things. Sometimes I'm just too scared. And my feelings are not ludicrous, Jim.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Yertle the Turtle**

Good one.

I think I would have been honest with you. In time. And you're right, your feelings aren't ludicrous. But I really don't see what you're so afraid of. I have no intention of not telling you things just because we're not playing a game, Pam.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Beach sex**

Fine. You tell me why you're so hurt I would even suggest not putting out the 21st question.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Popcorn**

Because. It's the rules of the game. You ask 21 Questions. Otherwise, it would be called 20 Questions.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Wireless Networking**

Okay, then why don't you just refer to it as 20 Questions. I'm not budging on this, Dwight.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Watches**

Fine. But I'm not happy about it.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Easter bunny**

You don't have to be. What changed your mind?

And I'll make it up to you, don't worry.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Run Forrest Run!**

The Dwight comment.

How are you going to make it up to me?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: STDs**

A lifetime of sex.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Boobs**

You should have led with that…

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: NBC**

Next time, I will... Lesson learned.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject**** Buffalo chicken sandwich**

I have a funny something… Would you believe that every time someone asks me to do something, I mentally go through your schedule to make sure it's not one of the days we can be together?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Arizona State**

That's kind of sad… I do the same thing though… I feel bad knowing that you do it, though. You do it because you want to spend time with me, right? Not because you feel obligated to check with me before you do something?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Attics**

Oh, yeah, that's definitely it. I just can't stand the thought of being apart from you. Ever.

Have you checked your purse recently?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Airport security**

Aww, that was sweet. In a creepy stalker kind of way.

I have "checked my purse" but I didn't find anything of significance.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Jenna Fischer is so hot**

Did you check your key ring?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Who is that?**

Oh, no... Not yet.

One more key than normal. What's this key to? Your heart?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Triple Chocolate Chip cookies**

You already have that one, silly. It's the key to a house.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: camera phones**

Which house might that be, Mr. Halpert?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Come here Staples! Here boy!**

Dwight's.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Planners**

Oh my gosh. How do you… What…. Oh my gosh.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Done**

Well, he had one house key on his key chain. Angela had two, so I took the one that matched off of hers (how like her to not give him one). Now we both have a copy of Dwight's house key. I searched the public records and found his address. What should we do?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Secrets**

You want to actually DO something?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Mommy and Me gymnastics**

Well, yeah. Why else would we have his keys?

Do you think he has a bank in his house?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Stonewall**

No, I don't think he has a bank in his house, Jim. I also don't think we'll look a tad suspicious buying ski masks and toy guns at the local CVS.

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Mugs**

I already bought those... We should at least go to his house during our lunch break and move something? Turn the TV set backwards so all you can see is the cables? How can he watch The Apprentice that way?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Suzie Lee**

Rename all of his Harry Potter books?

Voldemort and the Sorcerer's Stone  
Voldemort and the Chamber of Secrets  
Voldemort and the Prisoner of Azkaban  
Voldemort and the Goblet of Fire  
Voldemort and the Order of the Phoenix  
Voldemort and the Half Blood Prince  
Voldemort and the Deathly Hallows

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject**** Flonkerton**

Switch the items in his bedroom dresser with the ones in the kitchen cabinet?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Tennis shoes**

Cut a hole in the crotch of his laser tag uniform?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Nickel Creek**

Switch all of his Monopoly money with Schrute bucks?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Key**

Move his bed to the bathroom?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Capture the flag**

Okay, I'll meet you at the car in three minutes.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Beesly  
****Subject: Free Rice**

Which one are we going to do?

**To: Pamela Beesly  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Facebook**

All of the above. Maybe not at the same time… Can we please give Dwight his collar as a Christmas present?

* * *

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****I'd like to rest my pretty head tonight**

I'm running by Publix on my way home tonight. Can I get you anything?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****On a bed of California stars**

Are you sure you want to ask me that? But yeah, we need milk, yogurt, parsley and vanilla.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****I'd like to lay my weary bones tonight**

Please tell me those aren't all ingredients for dinner tonight…

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****On a bed of California stars**

No… Actually, I hadn't even thought about dinner tonight… What do you want?

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****I'd love to feel your hand touching mine**

You.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****And tell me why I must keep working on**

Tell me, am I a dairy, poultry, bread, or vegetable?

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****Yes, I'd give my life to lay my head tonight**

Uhh, you're a sweet. Yep. Like a brownie.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****On a bed of California stars**

You are my favorite dork ever.

By the way, I have your wallet in my purse. I swear you forget it at home just so you have an excuse to come up and talk to me sometimes.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****I'd like to dream my troubles all away**

I don't mean to forget it! I just do. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Hey, don't make any plans for tomorrow night, okay?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****On a bed of California stars**

You didn't forget!!!

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****Jump up from my starbed and make another day**

Do I look like the type of guy that would forget something as monumental as our third wedding anniversary? Honestly, woman! The things you insinuate!

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject: ****Underneath my California stars**

I know you didn't forget. I was just teasing you.

It's hard to believe we've been married for so long. I feel like just yesterday you were asking me what superhero I would be.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****They hang like grapes on vines that shine**

I can't remember what you were. Some narcissistic person. I don't know.

I love being married to you.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****And warm the lovers glass like friendly wine**

I love being married to you... Pooperman.

Do you remember, a few weeks before you proposed, when we had that fight? The one about 21 Questions?

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****So I'd give this world**

Yep. You wouldn't ask the 21st. I am still afraid the questions are going to become live rhinoceroses and giraffes and try and eat me.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****Just to dream a dream with you**

Question 21: Are you happy? Have all your dreams come true?

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: ****On a bed of California stars**

I am so extremely happy, I don't know what to do.

I know this isn't the right answer, but not all of them have come true yet. I'm still missing Luke and Leia and Audrey.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject:**** Princess Fiona**

Correction: Luke OR Leia.

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Gotta go gotta go gotta go right now!**

It's not nearly as cool if you only give me one! I thought we decided this, Pam! So unfair!!!

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject: Hawks**

Come feel my tummy, Jim. One of them is in there.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: It's Leia!!!!!!**

It's Leia. I just know it's Leia!!

It's Leia, right? It has to be Leia.

It feels like Leia.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject: Slapsgiving**

I tell you I'm pregnant, you run over to reception like you're running the sprint in the Olympics, hurdling over desks and Dwights, and the only thing you can think to say is, "It's Leia. I just know it's Leia!!! It's Leia, right? It has to be Leia. It feels like Leia"?

There are plenty of other details you could focus on, you know? And I don't know how you know what Leia feels like in opposition to Luke or Audrey, but yeah, I think it's Leia too.

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Skipping**

I'm sorry! I was just so caught up in the Leia-ness of it all!

Tell me everything.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject: Nala**

Well, Jim… When a man and a woman love each other…

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Liz Claiborne**

Okay, I saw the Circle of Life video in 9th grade Biology… Get on to the details of our daughter.

Our daughter!

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject: Wicked**

I'm so relieved you're so happy about this. Not that I thought you'd be upset, but gosh, Jim… Save some happiness for the rest of the world.

Well, I was feeling kind of strange this week, so I took an at home test last night, but I didn't want to tell you in case I was wrong because I didn't want to hurt you. So I went to the doctor this morning. And we're 7 weeks along, which puts us due in April. April 3rd, actually. And I can't eat tuna or skittles, they're grossing me out right now. And let's see. I have no idea what day we conceived because let's be honest, there are a lot to choose from…

I threw up this morning! I'm excited. Is that weird?

I'm so in love with you right now… There's something about knowing I'm carrying your child…

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Pink**

April sounds amazing. I can't wait.

No tuna or skittles. Got it.

Glad to hear you are positive on the throwing up bit.

I'm so in love with you too. I keep imagining what Leia will look like. In my mind, she's got my dark hair, your beautiful eyes… Your gorgeous smile… Your personality… Basically your everything. I can't wait to take her to the park and show her the swings and protect her from Michael.

I am a little scared, though. I mean, a whole new life. Another part of you I have to worry about making happy… But a part of you and me. Excited and scared…

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela ****Halpert  
****Subject: Reefer**

You are so adorable… And I hope she looks more like you than anyone else. And I hope she's just a miniature you. But then we'll have to fight to keep the boys away.

I'm glad you said you were scared. I'm scared to death… Mixed with excited. Mostly in awe that there's something inside of me that's part me part you, and I just know she's perfect.

You told me once a few years ago when we were dating that you weren't sure if everything was connected… When I was talking about my life. I'm not sure if you remember that, but I do. I was telling you about how everything just seems to lead into something else so perfectly that I can't imagine it was all a coincidence. Do you still believe that it's not connected?

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Make me a chicken pot pie**

I absolutely believe everything is connected in some way. I look at you, and I'm just in awe of what this life has to offer me. So much for being slacker Jim?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: ****Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: Make your own damn chicken pot pie**

You were never slacker Jim when it came to me.

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Wildebeests**

That's sweet.

Your turn to answer the question.

Are you happy? Got everything you want?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: Bat birth control**

I'm so inanely, ridiculously, ecstatically happy I don't even know how to say how happy I am…

I don't have everything I want (Luke and Audrey…), but I have the promises of having them, so I'm okay.

I really, really want some pull n peel twizzlers.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: French beach**

I'll be right back. Gotta make a run to CVS.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****Napkins**

You are the best husband ever! You even got me the jumbo pack!!!!

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Sea Foam Green**

Well, you're eating for two now. No reason Leia shouldn't have twizzlers too.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela**** Halpert  
****Subject: ****Smuckers**

It might ruin her dinner. Hardy har har.

Tell me, are you glad you let me save Question 21?

**To: Pamela ****Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject:****Yaris**

I couldn't imagine a better way to find out I'm gonna be a daddy than you telling me through a game of 21 Questions.

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: ****Sex with Stanley never tasted so good.**

And once again, I must say, you're my favorite dork ever.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Paper plates**

How did our game start, again?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: Wilco**

I sent you an email telling you I was extremely bored and sent you on a mission to rescue me.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: Luke! I am your father. Come set the table for dinner!**

Did I do so adequately?

**To: Jim Halpert  
****From: Pamela Halpert  
****Subject: Halter tops**

Let's see…. You came in, made me laugh with your superhero identity and obsession with The Bachelor, swept me off my feet, kissed me senseless, made love with me, married me, had ketchup fights with me, and got me pregnant with Leia…. Yeah, I would say you squelched boredom…

…and made me the happiest dork in the whole world.

**To: Pamela Halpert  
****From: Jim Halpert  
****Subject: I'm so in love with you**

I wouldn't say you're the happiest dork in the world. Definitely in the top two, but I take that prize.

But I can say, without a doubt in my mind, that you are the prettiest dork in the planet. And that includes aliens and earthlings. So, tough competition.

* * *

And, that's it folks! Please let me know what you think. I really struggled with this chapter, I didn't want it to be so flipping obvious (like the will you marry me?) but i wanted to wrap it up nicely and find a way to give you all some sort of closure (and myself). So, let me know if I did that. Surprised? Sad? Bummed? Pissed? Also, thanks to BrownDoggy for giving me her thoughts on the last chapter when I was stuck! 

My real life Hannah's (Lexi, oh man, I love her) dad is coming back on Saturday!!! Here's to hoping Lexi reacts the same way Hannah did!!

I am exhausted. Now I have no excuse to not do homework. One more week of class after this one, then finals, then hopefully, a sister story. Or finishing my old ones. When/If I do a sister story with this one, I'll post something in here as another chapter, and hopefully all you alerted will get an email telling you about it!

Oh, and those of you who read Angela's myspace blog (easily found by accessing Jenna's), the flip flops she mentions are PRECIOUS. Go look them up and tell me if you don't want some for your feet. They're like a pamgasm! or an [insertnameheregasm. A gracegasm.

And, I saw Lollilove for the first time tonight. Obsessed. Jenna is hillarious.

Please don't skimp on reviews! I really am anxious to hear your thoughts, not only on this chapter, but the story as a whole. If I do the sister story, I'll reply to them in there. :)

You guys have been a fantastic audience! I'm almost as sad that I'm losing my little community of readers/reviewers here, as I am that the story is over! -AG


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